Ask HN: Alcoholism and Career in Software

Adults try to avoid death.

The wise embrace death.

After I moved to UK, about 8 years ago, I was drinking every evening. I settled on 3-4 pints a night. No lasting relationships, just work and some more work. Later I discovered I like sailing and started doing that a lot. So it was work, more work, sailing, lots of drinking. I was functional, I've found ways to handle the hangovers, lots of hydration during drinking and after, found my "limit" - never actually got very drunk, just "tipsy". I was sort of coasting.

Then something happened and I discovered that being in a relationship actually is a good thing, had the "pleasure" to have my very first panic attack, a few drinking blackouts. And I discovered that I was sitting on the motherload of depression.

I'm doing better now, the relationship works, what I've read about how to handle depression works, I'm limiting myself to 2 drinks an evening - mostly so I can chat with my beer friends and not event every evening anymore, I'm seeing good things happen, I wake up earlier that I used to and the sky is blue (even in UK).

My point is to talk to someone about this, alcohol abuse might be just hiding something more.

As another poster said, it's likely that you haven't done any long term damage YET. But do consider stopping entirely.

Don't look for an easier job. At 40 it's somewhat normal to be outperformed by younger people until your wisdom/experience kicks in, but that may not happen unless you stop completely.

Good luck. You've taken the hardest step of acknowledging you have a problem.

Have you had a sleep study? Alcohol makes apnea worse, and can cause brain fog and that same feeling you're describing.