Ask HN: Alcoholism and Career in Software

Whatever you do about the boozie, have medical supervision and ALWAYS be honest with your Doctor. Lie to your boss, partner, friends, and coworkers if you must but NEVER EVER lie to your doctor.

Individuals vary considerably and there's no telling what's permanent and isn't for you but I think you'll be surprised how much difference moderation and good sleep will help. Also remember that angst/stress about mental fog(pr anything) adds to it.

When you compare yourself to others, consider your cohort. If your coworkers are all amazing then there's no issue with being at the tail end of the curve because someone always will be.

I think if your doctor is satisfied as regards physical and you've stopped drinking as a coping mechanism you don't need to worry about the damage from drinking. However your systems as described to my layman's ear suggest maybe you investigate the possibility of therapy. It sounds to me like maybe you are dealing with some level of depression and that is making you feel sick and tired as well as perhaps being the motivator for your escalation in drinking.

I am not a professional though so I'm not qualified to diagnose or suggest treatment. Your best bet is to get some professional help so you can get to the bottom of it and start addressing the root problems.

Alcohol is not good for you, it's not good for your physical or mental health to be drinking this much. You should try to get help to reduce your intake.

Recovering alcoholic (2 years sober) here:

You don't need an easier job, you need to quit. An easier job will entice you to drink more and before you know it that easy job becomes hard. It's a vicious circle.

Many more people than those who admit it have a problem, but once you KNOW you have a problem there is only one solution: Quit.

Not for a week or a month, but for a year. If you can't do a year, you know you're _severely_ addicted. And severe addiction if it goes untreated will ALWAYS end in disaster or death.

Once you've done a year you will see how much of your happiness and resilience has returned and you don't want to go back. You might go back and fuck up again and then realize you have to quit for good, but that's a battle for another day.

Find help or check into a clinic if you can afford it. Groups helped me tremendously. See if you can find an English speaking one. It's not so much about people helping you with your problem. It's about sharing your experiences with people who won't judge you. You don't know what you're missing if you've never had it. Give it a chance.

Go and buy books. Some people swear by Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking. I found his books to only help with smoking, but some prominent figures like his book on drinking too.

Get educated on the subject.

Most likely (99%) your brain hasn't experienced lasting damage YET. The damage you experience (trouble focusing and remembering) will heal over the next 1 - 7 years completely if you stop. Science has a pretty good idea of this apparently. (The drug has been around a long time)

So there are two messages here: Be glad you've identified the problem now. It's not too late to regain everything you want. BUT: If you change nothing you will succumb to the sauce and lose everything like millions and millions before you.

It's a dangerous, dangerous position to be in. Treat it accordingly and make solving that problem the Number 1 issue in your life.

Don't want to discuss this on my main.

I drank far more than this for almost 15 years. Quit over two years ago and life has never been better. I did decent career-wise prior to quitting, and a bit better afterward. I feel like it didn't affect me too much WRT cognition besides just feeling like shit in general. I was also worried about the neurotoxicity but the brain is pretty elastic in this regard I believe. I'm older than you FWIW.