N=1, but I can confirm the experience of being disabled and getting medical care is mutually frustrating. Taylorism and one-size-fits-all fails hard. Appointment times are standardized, despite patients not being standard. I know I'm going to take extra time. I have multiple chronic conditions, getting treatment is a mess. But I can't arbitrarily ask for more time during booking; it's all automated now. Worse, I need…
Dude, you need direct primary care. When you pay the bills and no one else is involved, the doctor works for YOU. It's a profound difference, and one that it sounds like you need more than most. https://www.dpcare.org/ is a good place to start, but I guarantee there's direct primary in your city - just google for it.
I'd need to pay for both direct primary care and health insurance, and primary care payments wouldn't count towards my deductible.
This is a situation without fast solutions.