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Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

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Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#51

Post by amelius »

unzadunza wrote: post #40
mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I'm really reluctant to talk to strangers, but when I do... I use triangulation, where you don't talk about yourself (a stranger doesn't care) and you don't talk about them (it makes them uncomfortable), but instead you talk about a 3rd subject that maybe is visible to both of you, like the pretty fall leaves. Actually, last year, right after I learned about triangulation, I was walking my dogs and stranger mentioned…

Taking a conversation meta will make a lot of people uncomfortable, yes.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#52

Post by blamazon »

hankchinaski wrote: post #50

Having grown up in Italy and moved to the UK a few years ago seems that in the U.K. we are much less prone to talk to strangers. In Italy oftentimes people who just banter with you even if you don’t know them (at the grocer, the elevator, public transport). Whereas in the UK everyone seems to be minding their own business. You can see it yourself. I noticed it particularly every time I go to Rome and catch the underg…

Some people call this difference "peach vs coconut":

https://impactgrouphr.com/individualpost/peach-vs-coconut-cr...

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#53

Post by narag »

nicbou wrote: post #15
mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

It's weirdly hard to compliment people, at least as a man. If you haven't warmed them up a bit first, it never feels right to compliment what they wear. On the other hand, people love hearing that they have a nice playlist or run a cool place. It's something we put a lot of us into, so being complimented about it always hits hard. Compliments are an acquired skill, but one that's so satisfying to use.

Instead of compliments, try a more neutral start, like a question.

* Is that the new model of X? They say it's great.

* Where did you find Y? I've been searching for it a long time.

* Do that Z work so well as they say?

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#54

Post by torstenvl »

oneeyedpigeon wrote: post #7

Sadly, I grew up in the era of 'Stranger Danger' (this may be a uniquely UK thing, I'm not sure) which advocated entirely the opposite and, imo, discouraged an entire generation from interacting with those they didn't already know.

Safetyism is a broad cultural trend in the West, theorized to stem in part from the rise of sensationalist reporting on television in the 70s-80s.

The result is that the average parent is more likely not to leave even a younger teenager unsupervised than to address more mundane but realistic dangers like ensuring CO detectors have good batteries or using car seats and booster seats until somewhere between age 9 and age 12.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#55

Post by swarnie »

hankchinaski wrote: post #50

Having grown up in Italy and moved to the UK a few years ago seems that in the U.K. we are much less prone to talk to strangers. In Italy oftentimes people who just banter with you even if you don’t know them (at the grocer, the elevator, public transport). Whereas in the UK everyone seems to be minding their own business. You can see it yourself. I noticed it particularly every time I go to Rome and catch the underg…

A random stranger trying to strike up a conversation with me on the London underground has to be in my top three on the "most likely things to make me change trains at the next station" list.

The other two include knife crime and loudly reciting religious texts, backpack optional but considered. I dunno, just leave strangers alone, we're in that situation because we're busy doing something else.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#56

Post by hankchinaski »

blamazon wrote: post #52
hankchinaski wrote: post #50

Having grown up in Italy and moved to the UK a few years ago seems that in the U.K. we are much less prone to talk to strangers. In Italy oftentimes people who just banter with you even if you don’t know them (at the grocer, the elevator, public transport). Whereas in the UK everyone seems to be minding their own business. You can see it yourself. I noticed it particularly every time I go to Rome and catch the underg…

Some people call this difference "peach vs coconut": https://impactgrouphr.com/individualpost/peach-vs-coconut-cr...

Love this! Thank you

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#58

Post by ratherbefuddled »

hankchinaski wrote: post #50

Having grown up in Italy and moved to the UK a few years ago seems that in the U.K. we are much less prone to talk to strangers. In Italy oftentimes people who just banter with you even if you don’t know them (at the grocer, the elevator, public transport). Whereas in the UK everyone seems to be minding their own business. You can see it yourself. I noticed it particularly every time I go to Rome and catch the underg…

I think this is largely a London thing rather than a UK thing.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#60

Post by calme_toi »

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions.

Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all.

Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc and ends with de. :)

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