Live data from Hacker News

Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

bbc.com

41–50 of 150 posts

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#42
post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were…

Very good points on the benefits of talking to strangers. :)

A total aside on the tortellini pointer idea:

> when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item

This is a complete misunderstanding of why the stores move items. :)

https://bettermarketing.pub/the-secret-brilliant-and-questio...

"Supermarkets relocate their products around the store to make sure their customers get lost. As they struggle to find what they came in to buy, customers can’t help it but scan the freshly-redesigned shelves. That’s when the marketing magic happens.

[...]

That’s how you end up with three additional products you didn’t even think about before stepping in the shop. Your active search for pasta made you notice other merchandise and buy some of it.

In short, rearranging the store makes you spend more money — enough money for supermarkets to invest in this technique on a regular basis."

If they would want you to not get lost looking for tortellinis they could just leave them where they were. Heck there could be a tacit understanding between every shop to use the same schema and then you could just go in, grab and get out.

It would just result them earning less money. That is why they don't do it.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#43
post #3

That was not an interesting read. The article stretches the information in the title over many pages, links to many studies, but ultimately provides no new insights.

You are supposed to buy the book to know the secrets. :) The article is still useful as it does a decent job of busting popular social perceptions in the west that often prevent us from socialising even to make small talks with strangers. Ofcourse as an indian, I didn't find it much useful - I grew up watching my parent's generation interact and socialise with strangers whenever and wherever they travelled. So I too…

I'm just glad that HN salvaged the situation with the quality of the comments. Sometimes all we need is a good prompt.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#44
post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

I used to hitchhike a lot, and nearly every stranger (a couple nutjobs here and there) I met in that manner was interesting. Travelling in general, you meet a lot of strangers in situations where they are feeling charitable or helpful, which leads to great interactions. Also, in/around the wilderness, strangers are usually more eager/open to interaction.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#46

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I'm really reluctant to talk to strangers, but when I do... I use triangulation, where you don't talk about yourself (a stranger doesn't care) and you don't talk about them (it makes them uncomfortable), but instead you talk about a 3rd subject that maybe is visible to both of you, like the pretty fall leaves. Actually, last year, right after I learned about triangulation, I was walking my dogs and stranger mentioned…

This is called small talk, and despite being reviled by many needs, it serves an important social purpose of making people feel comfortable before we talk about things that can get uncomfortable (like each other).

Most people agree that it's silly but needed, which is why when you deconstruct with a random stranger (thereby making it about the two of you and NOT a separate thing), they will feel the need to quickly exit your presence.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#47

>As a straight white guy, I recognised from the outset that my interactions with strangers can be less fraught than they are for people who aren't straight white guys. Classic BBC, everything is race and gender nowadays. Do people really live like that? Sexuality would be the last thing I think about when I talk to a stranger that I never see again in my life for 30 seconds > Additionally, I strongly suggest men in m…

Quoted post unavailable.

Do you really think about someone being hetero or bi or gay or whatever when you talk to them for 30 seconds (how do you even notice)? Especially a stranger that you never see again?

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#48
post #15

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

It's weirdly hard to compliment people, at least as a man. If you haven't warmed them up a bit first, it never feels right to compliment what they wear. On the other hand, people love hearing that they have a nice playlist or run a cool place. It's something we put a lot of us into, so being complimented about it always hits hard. Compliments are an acquired skill, but one that's so satisfying to use.

Questions are a great way to indicate interest without coming off as too forward. Where'd you get that hat? Is that sweater as comfy as it looks?

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#49
post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

>Twitter/HN doesn’t count.

It definitely does

It is just medium with less informations eg it lacks face expressions

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#50
Having grown up in Italy and moved to the UK a few years ago seems that in the U.K. we are much less prone to talk to strangers. In Italy oftentimes people who just banter with you even if you don’t know them (at the grocer, the elevator, public transport). Whereas in the UK everyone seems to be minding their own business. You can see it yourself. I noticed it particularly every time I go to Rome and catch the underground as opposed to londons. For instance I can feel the nervousness of people going up and down London Underground opposed to the laid-back and slow pace i instead feel in Rome. I might be just my impression though
Post reply on HN