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Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

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Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#411

Post by skydhash »

ornornor wrote: post #385
thebigspacefuck wrote: post #353

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Similarly I think “what if I die tomorrow”? This really helps me prioritize the experience I want from life over status, money, etc.

> what if I die tomorrow Never quit e really got that one. If I were to die tomorrow, I’d spend most of my money and do too much drugs. But what if I don’t die tomorrow? Then I’m broke and have a substance abuse problem. I don’t think that’s a particularly good way to make life choices personally.

It's what if, not a certainty. Most of the decisions rely heavily on the certainty of living tomorrow. Which can be highly probable, but not 100% certain. So, that makes it possible to reconsider some decisions.

Like, should I pay for this expensive dinner or travel, or should I save the money? Sometimes saving the money makes sense, sometimes it does not. But you should never rely on the fact that you will be there to use the money you're saving instead of enjoying a nice experience right there.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#412

Post by JackFr »

bombcar wrote: post #346
JackFr wrote: post #110

Some thoughts about taking responsibility. From an old boss: “Excuses are like assholes. Everyone got one and they all stink.” From a friend’s dad who was an excellent trial attorney: “If you’re explaining you’re losing.” From my kids 4th grade teacher: “While that may explain, it does not excuse.”

Along these lines is “sorry with an explanation/excuse is not sorry”.

There is no room for the word “but” in an apology.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#413

Post by jemurray »

If someone asks you how to do something or your opinion, give them a thoughtful answer. Many times I would say, “I don’t have a strong opinion” or “whatever you think is best”. It took a friend to tell me people value my advice and they are truly interested in what I have to say. When someone asks, they want to know what I think. Answer them thoughtfully. Ever since that moment I always give a thoughtful answer when someone asks for my advice.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#414

Post by wellthisisgreat »

nonasktell wrote: post #106
ghstcode wrote: post #73

Before spending the last money I had on a coding book, the cashier could see my hesitation and said "don't worry, investing in yourself is never a waste of money". It had a profound impact on me.

For anyone reading this and thinking about spending your last 10 bucks on a programming book please use Libgen or a free mooc

Idk I got a grasp on programming because I spent a summer in the library with books on programming and a hard rule of not leaving for even a coffee until i have done at least a full chapter and all exercises.

I kept the phone turned off and only touched the laptop once I was ready for exercises and after 2-3 hours was too terrified to lose focus if I didn’t go straight into code.

Would have never happened with MOOC, as there would have been all kinds of drifting away. I owe my ability to hyper focus to that time

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#415

Post by club_tropical »

edw519 wrote: post #279
gbro3n wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would be great to get some context / examples around some of these

Thanks for the feedback, gbro3n. I'm too lazy to write a blog post about this at the moment, so here's a quickie reply: 1. An estimate is better than a guess. An measurement is better than an estimate. Feedback from my mentor at a silly presentation of mine that convinced no one. I added data (as suggested) and it killed. 2. It's never the money. (They will always say it is, but it's not.) I had trouble selling softw…

Appreciate your generosity in typing the OG 20 and then expanding upon it when people were curious.

Personally I am very surprised you think some of these held up: pos mental attitude, writing things down, value of mba, and - most especially - almost anyone can do anything.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#416

Post by kelseyfrog »

jazzyk wrote: post #410
solveit wrote: post #349

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because you're fourteen, those randos are your peer group, and you're stuck with them all day. Also, you're fourteen so you haven't quite figured out whose opinions should be important to you, and also you're wildly insecure about your position in your world.

Life is not fair and not a bed of roses, never will be. These experiences make you tougher - in adult life, you will run into toxic bosses, colleagues, brutal job interviewers... It is important to have a loving family and/or supportive friends who can provide a different point of reference.

I'm frankly not a fan of hyperstitious social pessimism. Everyone needs to understand that this isn't knowledge, it's justification.

It's justification for being an asshole to people under the guise of 'helping' them. The people who end up believing it are rubes who do the same to others. Making someone tougher is survivorship bias by another name. It fails to account for the people who don't have supportive family members and friends. It's solution to this is saying, "it sucks, but they just couldn't take it," which does nothing to make things even slightly better for the next person. We're left with those who survived.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#417

Post by akulbe »

javajosh wrote: post #124

My mother told me to not care what other people thought. She also told me that words can't really hurt people ("sticks and stones..."). She also believed its "mean" to have any preference about people, calling it a version of "keeping score". In fact, "keeping score" was one of the worst things you could be accused of in my household. Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails…

I think your mother's advice was well-meaning, for sure. I would qualify it as follows:

FOR WHAT OTHERS THINK:

You shouldn't care what most people think of you. Ones that matter: your boss, your spouse, (if you are religious) your Maker.

The others don't get the same weight.

FOR "STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES...":

This one doesn't work. Words can (and do) hurt, and we should be careful what we say to others. But having the framework of the previous piece of advice, helps take the sting out of it if someone says something to you that is harmful/hurtful.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#418

Post by CamperBob2 »

uoaei wrote: post #379
kortilla wrote: post #365

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Always take sides. By not taking a side you are automatically wrong. This doesn’t mean you should engage in identity politics, etc. but when faced with a choice take the time to make an informed decision. This is a good way to piss away incredible amounts of time on irrelevant things. You are definitely not “wrong” by choosing to ignore an argument about which Kardashian is better looking.

Taking a side does not mean submitting yourself to an argument. The advice is "take a side", not "advocate/defend a side in all circumstances".

Usually my conclusion is more like:

1) There is no such thing as "both sides." There are always more than two sides.

2) They should all die in a fire.

Not sure that helps anyone, but I call 'em as I see 'em.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#420

Post by CamperBob2 »

IgorPartola wrote: post #155
jart wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Consumers also hate paying for things. I've always thought when Google came along that it was a shining beacon for being the one corporation that gives everything away for free.

As a consumer I am totally fine paying for things. But I hate being interrupted with ads for irrelevant shit I don’t want or need. Google and every other online advertiser is hilariously bad at guessing what I might be shopping for at the moment. Amazon comes close by remembering what products I looked at last. But Google is worse than dogshit when it comes to this. I’ll give you a typical example where Google could…

I’ll give you a typical example where Google could be great but falls so short: I deliver to it on a silver platter a search query for a specific product “MRCOOL DIY 4th Gen 12k btu”. This is a very specific ductless mini split heat pump that retails for about $1750. I was looking to see if anyone had a cheaper price. Well Google Shopping mostly showed me results for either the 3rd Gen or a different BTU rating, in an apparent attempt to not show too few results. No a 36k btu unit isn’t a substitute. No, just the air handler isn’t a substitute. I have my credit card out and ready to go, buy Google is too busy showing me ads for window units!

You're gonna LOVE Amazon.

/s

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