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Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

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Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#291

Post by sgt101 »

mlac wrote: post #128
spidersouris wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You must balance enjoying your time now with investing in yourself and your future. That is, to me, one of the most difficult things to apply in life, and I feel like the rest of your post doesn't exactly provide an answer on how to achieve this. There are so many things that I want to do in life but that I cannot afford to do now, and which I always postpone to later. And it feels like I'll let a great deal of thi…

You’re young. You could die early, but it’s statistically unlikely. There’s a balance. With 20k (and if you’re really lucky no debt) and a job that most people on this site have, you are lucky and will be able to do some things others can’t. I’ll give you one. I spent about $2,000 in 2014 to take my wife to Paris and London (part of the trip was covered by my work, so it was a little less expensive). At the time we h…

I think that is a wonderful story and a wonderful illustration of the idea I was trying to get across.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#292

Post by blitz_skull »

agentultra wrote: post #287

The world doesn't need fewer people, it needs smart people. This piece of advice started me on the path to deciding to have children. I was fairly adamant about being childless. This advice was given to me by a friend and it made me slightly less sure. It didn't convince me straight away but it was a start and I've never forgotten it. Completely changed my life in the end and much for the better.

I’d go a step further and say less than it needs smart people, the world needs loving people.

You can be smart, selfish, hateful, and in general a negative value-add to society.

You can also genuinely care for people, have a sub-par IQ, and not “accomplish much” and make a huge impact on many lives.

As a corollary, if “all” you ever do is raise loving, empathetic children you’ve left the world a better place than you find it.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#293

Post by marginalia_nu »

gampleman wrote: post #29

There’s a chapter on the mind in the book Discourses and Sayings by Abba Dorotheus. I suppose it can be summarised as “stop lying to yourself”. There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based…

> There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based on (unfounded) mental models, instead of on reality. Your emotional responses also get coloured by these imaginary exchanges.

Another important point about this is that if you're in a heated (imaginary) debate with someone, your body reacts as though you are in a heated (real) debate with someone.

This pattern can be a pretty significant source of stress and anxiety.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#294

Post by nowherebeen »

nonasktell wrote: post #106
ghstcode wrote: post #73

Before spending the last money I had on a coding book, the cashier could see my hesitation and said "don't worry, investing in yourself is never a waste of money". It had a profound impact on me.

For anyone reading this and thinking about spending your last 10 bucks on a programming book please use Libgen or a free mooc

Also library suggestions are great too if you can wait a few months. I usually suggest a bunch of books not just for me, but other people that might be on the same career path as me.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#295

Post by codexjourneys »

deskamess wrote: post #226
Bakary wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reference books are the one thing it's a good idea to spend money on, because flipping back and forth through a digital copy is still a miserable experience

If they can make flipping a finger pinch worth of pages somehow doable that would be killer. Some sort of wide-pinch gesture with a semi transparent overlay of the page you are going to flip to with your current pinch width. A foldable reader with readable panels on each sides when you open it. You can flip pages either way. Pen for annotation if possible. Create/edit your own documents. An icon tap to overlay anothe…

Funny enough VCRs had this decades ago, the double-fast-forward skipped forward a few minutes. Why e-readers can't do this with a similar symbol to skip forward 25 pages is a mystery to me.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#297

Post by marginalia_nu »

NayamAmarshe wrote: post #43
gampleman wrote: post #29

There’s a chapter on the mind in the book Discourses and Sayings by Abba Dorotheus. I suppose it can be summarised as “stop lying to yourself”. There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based…

"I'm in this comment and I don't like it." This one is really hard to combat. The overthinking brain imagines every scenario ever, really hard to tune the noise down. I've gotten better at it lately but it's still difficult sometimes.

A technique that can be very effective at breaking patterns of cognition is to every time you find yourself doing it, name it and let it go. Don't try to resist or get angry or attach any emotion to it, just say "I'm just simulating a discussion" and drop it.

Doesn't matter how many times you have to do it in the beginning, every 30 seconds, whatever, as long as you persist in doing this, it will relatively quickly stop the thinking pattern.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#298

Post by code_runner »

nkrisc wrote: post #215
jemmyw wrote: post #125

After you've been lying or sitting and you get up and go for a wee, once done press up just behind your balls. Oftentimes that pushes out a big drip that was otherwise going to come out later once you had your pants done up. The best abstract advice I've been given is to say "I don't know" when I don't know. No waffle, no bullshit, no trying to save face. Saves a lot of time.

I’m going to go try this. If true, I won’t need my Calico Cut Pants anymore.

But did you give?

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#299

Post by crankin »

I have found that all the best advice I've received centers on how to focus your attention. As humans when we can give something our full attention it's almost impossible that what we are doing won't bear fruit. Here are some axioms around that idea that if you implement you will progress.

  - Time is not your most valuable resource. Your attention is.
  - Focus your attention only on things that have disproportionate returns.
  - Multitasking is a myth. Pick one thing and do it with all your strength.
  - Discern between Type 1 & Type 2 decisions. High vs low consequence. If high consequence apply scientific method. Everything else delegate to smart people.
  - Prioritize everything systematically. See Eisenhower Matrix or T.R.A.F apply it to everything vying for your attention.
  - Keep a distraction list. Write down every idea, review monthly but know 95% of this is going into the trash. You simply don't have enough lifespan to do them all. 
  - Discard all unnecessary things from your life. Half done projects, old clothes, shoes, ideas, cups, bowls, hackysack, cars. All that crap that's piling up in your basement, garage, closets, cupboards wherever. You don't use it, you don't need it and they rob you of your attention.
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