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An ode to that “coffee friend”

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Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#221

Post by ubermonkey »

wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

There's definitely a temptation or a hazard here, sure, but as someone with a myriad of very public enthusiasms, I'll share that I have only RARELY gotten lazy gifts like this.

I'm not sure why that is.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#222

Post by ubermonkey »

Ma8ee wrote: post #193
wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

Yes, I wish people understood this better. As someone with quite a few hobbies, the thing you buy me is usually either redundant or not particularly useful. I really wish the tradition of grown people giving each other gifts would disappear. We don’t need more stuff to clutter our lives and it’s utterly tragic how we destroy our world just to produce stuff that just might make people marginally happier in a few fleet…

I love getting and giving gifts, but I agree that too often it's clutter. I do my best NOT to give someone something they won't actually like, and try to be gracious when I receive something not entirely useful.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#223

Post by dr_orpheus »

otikik wrote: post #173
benknight87 wrote: post #23

I keep notes whenever I have a good gift idea for someone specific. Example: during our trip to Chile, me and my girlfriend stayed at an Airbnb where they had a child's xylophone. My girlfriend loved to play it and even learned 3 songs before we left. I realized it would make a good gift so I wrote it down on a note titled "Good Gift Ideas" in Google Keep. A couple months later on her birthday I bought her a similar…

You should probably migrate out of Google Keep, Google might decide to kill it.

Any suggestions for alternatives?

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#224

Post by mikrl »

c7b wrote: post #209
koonsolo wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This "too cool for stuff" sounds like US culture. I never experienced that kind of thing in EU. We each had our own friend groups, and didn't really care what the other groups were into. I once heard an artist say (can't remember which one), that they loved playing in Europe, since everyone at a festival is there to have fun. While in US, everyone is there to look cool.

Nonsense. As ever so often, the German language even has an own word that kids use to deride peers who are too invested in learning stuff, or even just commit the offense of having better grades in school. Similar for other countries, I'd say European countries are no less hostile to nerdy kids than the US, at best.

Ahh, been a while since I’ve been able to use the British English term ‘swot’

- she’s such a swot

- I need to swot up on this

- don’t be so swotty

- look at that swot with his books

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#225

Post by dr_orpheus »

messe wrote: post #197
arc-in-space wrote: post #63

Hello! I am the coffee friend. I currently have 3 bags of gift coffee I hated on contact and will probably never drink. Lots of other examples here(wfleming here says the same thing) but in short, this happens nearly every time someone gives me gifts based on their superficial idea of a hobby I'm in. The thing ends up being worthless and I begrudgingly pretend to be satisfied with the gift.

> I currently have 3 bags of gift coffee I hated on contact and will probably never drink. I find that even the worst can (usually) be salvaged as cold brew.

Yep, if I don't like it it goes in to the cold brew blend

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#226

Post by dr_orpheus »

jraph wrote: post #102
foobarbecue wrote: post #84

It's so weird how we think we have to buy each other stuff.

I don't like searching / having to think about gifts. And I don't like receiving them. There's some expected reciprocity in this. Presents are often useless stuff turning into waste. We cannot afford this anymore. It also takes me months to decide to buy something for myself, whether I really need it, which model exactly… I don't like this to be ruined. Events with people are cool, though, and that's the kind of pres…

In my family we still do gifts for immediate family and kids in the family. But for everyone else in the extended family we started a donate exchange, or sort of a secret Santa of donates. Everyone gets assigned someone else and you go make a donation to something important to you in their name. Then on Christmas we just open up cards that say who they donated to and why.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#227

Post by [deleted] »

gnarcoregrizz wrote: post #67
wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

I've heard the advice to give a gift of something that you like, because people are bound to be disappointed if you try to cater to their interest. I'm into cycling, and I've received many cycling-related gifts, many of which I unfortunately haven't used. Meanwhile, I've had a few products that I'm really fond of that I've received good feedback about. A few examples are tools, flashlights, and one which was received…

[deleted]

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#228

Post by lukeasrodgers »

simonebrunozzi wrote: post #96
bliteben wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was recently struck by this tidbit about Cormac McCarthy: > As a child, McCarthy saw no value in school, preferring to pursue his own interests. He described a moment when his teacher asked the class about their hobbies. McCarthy answered eagerly, as he later said, "I was the only one with any hobbies and I had every hobby there was ... name anything, no matter how esoteric. I could have given everyone a hobby and…

First time I hear about him, and I feel I should read something by him. What's the single best recommendation you can give us?

Blood Meridian

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#229

Post by SauciestGNU »

danenania wrote: post #106
simonebrunozzi wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First time I hear about him, and I feel I should read something by him. What's the single best recommendation you can give us?

The Road.

This is where I started and it's engaging and bleak and heartbreaking. Such is much of his work. Blood Meridian is generally considered his magnum opus, but it's a much more difficult read.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#230

Post by hombre_fatal »

stonecharioteer wrote: post #45
wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

This. I hate getting books as gifts because I am lucky about the editions I buy nowadays. People used to gift me books until I asked them not to. I'd prefer it if someone asked me what I wanted and got me specifically that, unless, of course, they made me handmade cards or bookmarks.

People buy you books because they think you might enjoy the words on the pages, not because they think the book will dignify your meticulous collection.
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