I assume everyone is a "chocolate friend". If they aren't, they'll let you know.
Any time someone gives me chocolate as a gift I say a polite thank-you and then discretely throw it in the trash. Maybe I'm an outlier, or maybe not...
An ode to that “coffee friend”
101–110 of 264 posts
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#102It's so weird how we think we have to buy each other stuff.
I don't like searching / having to think about gifts. And I don't like receiving them. There's some expected reciprocity in this. Presents are often useless stuff turning into waste. We cannot afford this anymore. It also takes me months to decide to buy something for myself, whether I really need it, which model exactly… I don't like this to be ruined. Events with people are cool, though, and that's the kind of present that could work. But there's still this reciprocity thing that does not make me completely at ease with any kind of present. What's important for me is seeing people, not stuff. Let's have this great relationship and not involve the presents in it?
I have discouraged friends and family to buy me gifts for years. I've also gradually stopped buying gifts for people as soon as I feel it's not too weird.
I'm at a point people around me understand I don't want presents, and some are convinced not doing gifts is a good idea, especially the wasteful part. We don't do gifts at Christmas with my parents anymore. We just skip this shitty period where you stress out spending too much money buying presents for everyone at the same time as everyone else, we just have a good time and everything is smooth. No need for presents to show we love each others. My parents are still used to buy each other presents for their respective birthdays (and involve us), but I think that's mostly because they are trapped in it.
If we want a healthy planet we really need to think about the presents and especially on Christmas, which shall be reinvented. Teaching kids to expect and demand presents can't be good at this time, by the way.
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#103Earlier quoted context omitted.
The comedians say “cash: the gift card you can use anywhere!”
It's so bizarre to me that gift cards don't come at a discount. Buying a gift card is so clearly an unfair transaction to the benefit of the merchant.
But then many people would first buy the gift card to get the 5% or whatever discount, then buy the item they were going to buy anyway.
Now that I think about it, I think a gift card has to be priced at exactly a 1:1 price. (You can't price it higher because people will find that to be outrageous.)
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#104Gift giving is a thing that is strange to me. I never desire a gift and I am poor at selecting ones. I do pretty okay at planning experiences, however, which usually is a reasonable way to salvage things. But I wish there were gift-giving advice that wasn't just "draw the rest of the owl" because there are others who like receiving gifts and I could just do it right.
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#105Earlier quoted context omitted.
This "too cool for stuff" sounds like US culture. I never experienced that kind of thing in EU. We each had our own friend groups, and didn't really care what the other groups were into. I once heard an artist say (can't remember which one), that they loved playing in Europe, since everyone at a festival is there to have fun. While in US, everyone is there to look cool.
It's a nice sentiment but really isn't accurate.... unless you're suggesting nerds don't get bullied in Europe
Not in the same way. US high school clique dynamics are very much US-specific.
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#106Earlier quoted context omitted.
I was recently struck by this tidbit about Cormac McCarthy: > As a child, McCarthy saw no value in school, preferring to pursue his own interests. He described a moment when his teacher asked the class about their hobbies. McCarthy answered eagerly, as he later said, "I was the only one with any hobbies and I had every hobby there was ... name anything, no matter how esoteric. I could have given everyone a hobby and…
First time I hear about him, and I feel I should read something by him. What's the single best recommendation you can give us?
The Road.
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#107buy me a surfboard
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's so bizarre to me that gift cards don't come at a discount. Buying a gift card is so clearly an unfair transaction to the benefit of the merchant.
But then many people would first buy the gift card to get the 5% or whatever discount, then buy the item they were going to buy anyway. Now that I think about it, I think a gift card has to be priced at exactly a 1:1 price. (You can't price it higher because people will find that to be outrageous.)
Ah, good point. Maybe add a minimum delay? Then you're loaning money and getting interest...
Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”
#109I thing I decided late in life is that being really into things is cool. Something I'm rather sad about is that highschool kinda beat that attitude out of me. I was a classic nerd, including all the bad attributes that label comes with, but also one really good one: I was really into a number of things. But I learned from hard experience that being super into stuff was lame - being disinterested and too cool for stuf…
This "too cool for stuff" sounds like US culture. I never experienced that kind of thing in EU. We each had our own friend groups, and didn't really care what the other groups were into. I once heard an artist say (can't remember which one), that they loved playing in Europe, since everyone at a festival is there to have fun. While in US, everyone is there to look cool.
It's not a US thing and not even necessarily related to being bullied in school. Lots of parents scold their children for being into useless or eclectic hobbies.