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An ode to that “coffee friend”

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Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#22
post #7

I do the exact opposite. Buying a gift for an expert when you are not an expert is always going to lead to disappointment, no matter how well they hide it. I buy gifts only from areas that I am an expert in, and I hope my friends may not be as enthusiastic about the area as I am, but at least we both know I got them the best for them.

It depends. As a coffee nerd (but not a snob) a 250g bag of coffee goes fast and even if it's not the best would be appreciated. As someone who likes to cook, kitchen stuff is likely to go into the drawer and not see the light of day again until I move.

Never buy gear for an enthusiast unless you have explicitly asked them what they want and always get that exact thing.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#23
I keep notes whenever I have a good gift idea for someone specific. Example: during our trip to Chile, me and my girlfriend stayed at an Airbnb where they had a child's xylophone. My girlfriend loved to play it and even learned 3 songs before we left. I realized it would make a good gift so I wrote it down on a note titled "Good Gift Ideas" in Google Keep. A couple months later on her birthday I bought her a similar xylophone.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#24
post #7

I do the exact opposite. Buying a gift for an expert when you are not an expert is always going to lead to disappointment, no matter how well they hide it. I buy gifts only from areas that I am an expert in, and I hope my friends may not be as enthusiastic about the area as I am, but at least we both know I got them the best for them.

Coffee friend here! This is the way! When people get me coffee or coffee paraphernalia as a gift, they tend to fall into a number of traps:

- Not understanding my nuanced preferences and getting me something I know about and don't like

- Not appreciating how to choose a good product (for example, with beans, an old roast date of more than 30 days means sad & stale coffee)

- Getting me something I like but I already have

In many cases I of course smile and am polite, and of course I am truly grateful for the thought, _but_ there is a level of disappointment which I have to hide because it saddens me to be wasteful, and I don't like putting on a performance. There are very few if any coffee things that I like but don't have, and are at a gift level price point (From this experience as a recipient, I have learned to be very careful about the gifts I give to others. I steer clear of things in the realm of someones passions, and try to share something I know and love. For example, I don't give whiskey lovers whiskey, or whiskey glasses, because I don't know what kind of whiskey they like, and I'm likely to give them something they know and don't like! So often times I'll use my superpower of knowing a lot about coffee to give the whiskey lover a high quality coffee that they would probably have more difficulty finding or choosing themselves. A great conversation can ensue where I can share why I think that coffee is great and interesting, and why I think they'll enjoy it.

Conversely, when Whiskey person wants to get me a gift, I would much prefer they give me a whiskey they like and think is great, and explain it's merits to me. I don't know much about whiskey, so it's easy to wow me and I love learning about it from friends who do!

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s not the value of the gift, it’s the thoughtfulness. “I know you like X, and I thought about you” is a very different sentiment than “Let me gift you with my expertise.” The economists I’ve talked to say if you’re maximizing Utility then give cash.

The comedians say “cash: the gift card you can use anywhere!”

And the converse from The Simpsons: “gift card: just like cash but more limited”
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