Ask HN: How to deal with regret of not having kids

Think that it might be bad for yourself, but good for your kids because you didn't force them to enter this fucked up world for your own benefit. Speaking as someone who hates being born, and there are countless like me, and you can't know in advance.

Was in a similar situation re: biological age, just some anec-data for you:

1) You and your spouse most likely can still have children assuming you two are in reasonable health with no serious fertility issues; age is less of an issue with today's medical tech. My spouse and I had our first child at a simlar age to you two.

2) Sounds like you have burnout/depression/something-else. Consider getting help from a professional (therapist)?

3) For me, parenthood is cool, tiring, and rewarding, but definitely not an endpoint of personal fulfillment. With all the socio-cultural changes of our times, our sense of self, identity, and value should enrich our families, and not be predicated upon society's value towards being a giving/sacrificing parent unit.

sorry but this sounds pathological. Why do you want kids? "My job is not fun" can't be a reason, and if you have such levels of anxiety without kids , you 'll probably have a heart attack with kids. There are pathological cases of people (usually women) who are harassing kids out of such misguided 'longing'. Just calm down and think about what is it that makes you believe you want it so much. Is it peer pressure, hanging out with parents , you really like kids etc

You don’t have to wrestle with the guilt of producing a living being that is capable of profound suffering.

You’re improving the environment monumentally by preventing a new lineage of carbon producers.

You’re bestowed with the privilege of greater freedom to live your life.

There’s always a silver lining, even in the bleakest of circumstances.