51–60 of 171 posts
Doing the thinking part properly can make the difference between a project that takes 3 years and one that takes a few months.
Wake up at 5:30, get all things ready for kids, wake up kids, get their breakfast ready, check my (work phone - who decided work phones are a good idea).
Take kids to school, get back to work, meetings and more meetings ( countless meetings are a waste of time but they still have them)
Time for lunch, hell no time, skip lunch, I got to finish implementing this thought. Chat pops up, someone is asking for help, stop what you doing, help them, back at your thought, what thought???
Ah time to pick up kids, rush to school, look left and right for cops while you going fast. Pick the kids, go home, work with the kids homework (I am going through elementary again and again and again ….)
Time for dinner, cook dinner, kids need to get ready for sleep and finally I can get back to my unfinished thought.
Oh man, it’s late, I need to get to bed, to get ready for tomorrow.
Being single and having that level of anxiety and stress, multiply that times 10 with kids. That gives you an idea what life as a developer with little children is.
It is called the “hamster wheel syndrome”. You think you are getting where you want to get, just to find out that you are stuck in the same place where you started but a hell a lot of more stress and anxiety.
1- taking breaks is important, but can’t seem to take them
2- we don’t do it enough as we don’t feel as we have time
3- life is moving to fast (stupid Covid) to stop and do things that matter in life (family and friends)
4- If we are not here one day, I promise no one from work will miss you past one week. Family and real friends will remember you forever.
Life is short, cherish it. (Coming from a guy that never stops working)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Twenty years, two months into the second burn out on top of long term depression. I'm going bankrupt for a second time because I can't work 100% anymore. I'm yet to find a psychiatrist. Wish I could have a break sometimes.
You don't have any savings after 20 years of working? What happened?
As a developer and a parent with young kids, it is nearly laughable at the amount of stress one deals with everyday. Wake up at 5:30, get all things ready for kids, wake up kids, get their breakfast ready, check my (work phone - who decided work phones are a good idea). Take kids to school, get back to work, meetings and more meetings ( countless meetings are a waste of time but they still have them) Time for lunch,…
Not that that will reduce your anxiety but if burnout hits you it's genuinely devastating.
I do the same. I think it's an effect of ADHD in that it's likely a deficit of forward planning. I've been burned out from every job I've ever done, even where I initially enjoyed it. Maybe my eventual retirement will be better. Probably my eventual death will be even better. Can't get worried and stressed and sick from it all when you're no longer alive. Thankful that the eternal peace of non-existence is inevitable…
As a developer and a parent with young kids, it is nearly laughable at the amount of stress one deals with everyday. Wake up at 5:30, get all things ready for kids, wake up kids, get their breakfast ready, check my (work phone - who decided work phones are a good idea). Take kids to school, get back to work, meetings and more meetings ( countless meetings are a waste of time but they still have them) Time for lunch,…
I love my kids profoundly, and I think in the long run I will be happier than if I’d not had them and focused on work instead (work tends not to care about you after you leave. Maybe if you’re Steve Jobs or something). But in the moment, life is pretty stressful.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
So the solution is to figure out how to put in long hours effectively, not to throw it away. That's an excuse. Do you want to be rich, or not?
> Do you want to be rich, or not? No. I'm a Christian and humanist you insensitive clod :) Really and sincerely I do not. If there's one philosophy I could share - that's given me a truly awesome life filled with gratitude, meaning, mostly decent health, intimate human relationships and personal agency it would be look for the riches you already have.
You can replace "being rich" with "helping others", it still applies: you can trade comfort, sanity and health for more output, whether that's money in your account or helping those in need.