Both of my grandfathers died in the past five months.
The one who lives halfway across the country was 97. He woke up at his lake cabin the morning before he died complaining of chest pain and shrugged it off but was soon being transported unconscious to the hospital accompanied by his paramedic neighbor. He slipped into a coma and the next day with several of his children at his side, was removed from the ventilator.
My other grandfather, who lives in the same town I do, was 93 and had struggled for the past several years with a progressively debilitating illness which increasingly kept him from being able to do the things he wanted to do. A couple weeks before his death his health took a turn for the worse and he quickly began losing connection with the world. He did go to the hospital and tests were done and drugs given, but we soon understood that he wouldn't recover and we brought him home. The hospice nurses and caregivers were wonderful. All his children came as did many old friends. He died in his sleep in his bedroom with his wife and children there.
Both had advanced directives requesting minimal effort to prolong their lives. My grandfather here wanted no heroic efforts and "no machines". Even so, a lot of intense discussion among his children was involved in coming to peace and/or acceptance of what exactly that meant, what the moral and ethical implications of different interpretations were, and how best to carry out his wishes.
This is what I'm now doing and what I strongly encourage you to do now:
* Create an advanced health care directive for yourself. You can get forms and examples online.
* Consider the various situations one might end up in and lay out as explicitly as you can what you'd like to be done or not done to you. The more specific you are, the more likely your intentions will be followed and the less your family/loved ones may have to struggle with the interpretation.
* Talk to your your family and loved ones about your desires. It's a hard and awkward discussion to have but do it. Be clear and frank.
Takeaway: Have an advanced directive. Be as clear, specific, and explicit as you can about your desires. Share your desires with your family, loved ones, and care providers. It is helpful not only you but form them as well.