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Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

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Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#201

Post by addisonl »

hirvi74 wrote: post #156
herdyderdy wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you are on stimulants now that seem to help with your long term focus? Is there a concern of tolerance and dependency, like coffee/caffeine, where you'll have to keep upping the dose to get the benefit? Sorry if I'm being nosy but this is rather eye-opening to me and makes me think it might be worth speaking to my doc about this.

I apologize if my response is kind of all over the place. I am somewhat of rush this morning, but I wanted to throw my hat into the ring. To contrast the other user who replied, I have been on stimulants for 8 years now. I will say that there is a very notable drop in efficacy. Not enough to justify stopping them all together, but I'd say I get about 50% of the benefit on my best days. I would consider my current exp…

Does limiting the number of days you take medication (mon-fri and/or doing x weeks on, x weeks off) help in any way? I've always read threads like these and thought, yes that definitely sounds like me, but I have always been hesitant to get dependent on a medication...

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#202

Post by noufalibrahim »

kixxauth wrote: post #96

My advice is to not focus. At least not yet. I'm in the 40-45 year old range and assuming you are much younger. Apologies if we are closer in age, since this advice will carry less value. I have often been envious of people who were more focused than I am. I feel they have been able to make more progress in a given amount of time. I worked as a mover in Boston into my mid twenties, spent a bunch of time trying to bec…

I'm in a similar age bracket. Started my company a little earlier. Pivoted and did all the fancy startup stuff but while having a family with multiple kids and several other commitments that many of the younger founders are not encumbered with.

The OPs advice is excellent. You can't find out what you're good at without first going wide. Mistakes will abound but you need to pin some meta skills

1. Avoiding things that are high probability dead ends. They might not be but you should have instinct for not pulling back on a path when it doesn't seem to be worthwhile.

2. Ability to make tough calls and execute - Abandoning things that you "always wanted to do but never had the time for", fixing personality problems that you know are holding you back but you always just ignore (e.g. false pride, procrastination etc.)

3. Develop skill stacks rather than deep specialisation. My brother writes and my sister draws. I do calligraphy and I tell people that I draw better than my brother and write better than my sister. In a similar vein, if you've got experience in a certain area, learning a useful skill that others in the area don't have will make you super valuable in that area.

4. Be resilient. If you're ambitious (as I gather you are), you're going to nurture that and while the process is worthwhile, it's blood unpleasant. There's a constant feeling of dissatisfaction that sometimes borders on an almost pathologically inability to celebrate a victory. You're going to have to make these calls as you figure out what you want to do and where.

Finally, once you do figure out something that you're good at and can make a living out of, dive deep and constantly get better at it. Start saying no to other stuff and become a narrow expert. Don't let all your exploratory experience and outlook become a handicap. It served you well to find your destiny but there is a time when you have to discard it. That's easier said than done but it's a must.

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#203

Post by andrei_says_ »

kixxauth wrote: post #96

My advice is to not focus. At least not yet. I'm in the 40-45 year old range and assuming you are much younger. Apologies if we are closer in age, since this advice will carry less value. I have often been envious of people who were more focused than I am. I feel they have been able to make more progress in a given amount of time. I worked as a mover in Boston into my mid twenties, spent a bunch of time trying to bec…

> The experiences I've gathered are assets which build on each other, leading to more and more valuable experiences.

Thank you for this. I’m closer to your age and looking back I missed the train of ultra specialization.

There is however alchemy to experience and sometimes completely unrelated experiences catalyze awareness and abilities in unimagined ways.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#204

Post by noufalibrahim »

mightybyte wrote: post #50
kthejoker2 wrote: post #38

Separate comment: this question is framed with a fixed mindset and an unhealthy sense of what self-discovery is.l You "are" "good at" nothing. You are not a block of marble with David inside, something to be chipped away at until it is apparent for all to see. You are a ball of clay, malleable, reshapable and shapeless, fluid and formed, able to absorb new bits and grow into something wildly different, day by day if…

I heard someone say once that one of the best things that helped them develop a growth mindset was lifting weights. Consistently doing 3x5 heavy squats, deadlifts, and presses just three days per week will make a visible change in most people's body remarkably quickly. And seeing that change in yourself really helps reinforce that you can change your situation. I thought that was an interesting observation but I'd li…

One of the things with physical culture is how easily it is to spot bullshit. You can either lift X or you can't. You can either fight a round with a boxer or you can't. None of the handwaving and smoke and mirrors which are effective in intellectual disciplines work when you're facing a physical challenge. Things become black and white and success and failure are easily visible to everyone. Conquering that gives one a certain kind of resilience and confidence that's hard to get in any other way.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#205

Post by SoftTalker »

mightybyte wrote: post #50
kthejoker2 wrote: post #38

Separate comment: this question is framed with a fixed mindset and an unhealthy sense of what self-discovery is.l You "are" "good at" nothing. You are not a block of marble with David inside, something to be chipped away at until it is apparent for all to see. You are a ball of clay, malleable, reshapable and shapeless, fluid and formed, able to absorb new bits and grow into something wildly different, day by day if…

I heard someone say once that one of the best things that helped them develop a growth mindset was lifting weights. Consistently doing 3x5 heavy squats, deadlifts, and presses just three days per week will make a visible change in most people's body remarkably quickly. And seeing that change in yourself really helps reinforce that you can change your situation. I thought that was an interesting observation but I'd li…

I started lifting weights 3 years ago on this program (it's basically the Starting Strength novice linear progression).

For background I'm in my mid 50s, never did weight training in my life before 2019. I've progressed more I thought I could and my muscle tone and strength is better than it's ever been in my life.

However none of this has changed my outlook on work, or accomplishing other stuff in general. It hasn't unlocked any new drive or energy or passion. I don't feel like a different person from before. In fact I am tired earlier in the evening and sleep more now.

I don't say this to be discouraging but personally I've never found that "just do this one thing you're not doing" will make a dramatic difference aside from getting better at doing that thing. If you want to get strong, lift weights. That's good in its own right. It may or may not change anything else in your life.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#207

Post by triggercut »

photochemsyn wrote: post #151
thenaturalist wrote: post #93

Hi there, This might be an off beat chance, but have you had a history of or ever looked into the topic of adult ADHD? Changing several jobs, jumping between hobbies or projects is textbook ADHD, especially if you don't feel like you can get out of it and describe it as a "huge live hurdle". That is the same for me. Got diagnosed at 30 two months ago. If you have a suspicion you might have it, I highly recommend doin…

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions. With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the…

Are these evidence backed observations? Is this evidence general for the world or specific to your locality?

I can tell you where I am it's only just being realised how _under-diagnosed_ it is for those with primarily internal presentation. Those who are diagnosed later in life have often survived due to above average intelligence and internalising debilitating coping mechanisms their entire lives that finally buckle under the strain of large, stressful life events in adulthood (children, divorce, financial stress, change to managerial work etc.)

To the second paragraph: Maybe in the US, and that's unfortunate but a lot of places in the world they are controlled drugs requiring a psychiatric diagnosis, sometimes with an EEG maybe a drug test.

Common stimulants like Adderall, Ritalin, dexamphetamines, work on the ADHD brain differently. Running out at normal prescribed doses in line with your condition won't result in "withdrawal" or malaise as a result of stopping. Any malaise is probably comorbid depression, which is common for those who have been undiagnosed. Often the ADHD is misdiagnosed as depression when the depression is merely the symptom.

I'm not sure what you are trying to get at in your final point but by this stage it's clear you have some deep biases with little to back-up your observations and are perpetuating the views that stigmatise ADHD sufferers.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#208

Post by alx__ »

photochemsyn wrote: post #151
thenaturalist wrote: post #93

Hi there, This might be an off beat chance, but have you had a history of or ever looked into the topic of adult ADHD? Changing several jobs, jumping between hobbies or projects is textbook ADHD, especially if you don't feel like you can get out of it and describe it as a "huge live hurdle". That is the same for me. Got diagnosed at 30 two months ago. If you have a suspicion you might have it, I highly recommend doin…

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions. With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the…

So I get that people have issues with lazy doctors who pass out pills like candy. But that's not how ADHD is handled. It requires a diagnosis which takes time, then pills are prescribed from a physiatrist at low doses at first.

As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s, it was a great relief and surprise at how effective stimulants work. I have struggled my entire life, and have burned myself out multiple times trying to maintain a balance in my life. There's a huge mental burden every day. Trying to remember what you need to do, remember the best strategies to stay on track, spiking anxiety, feelings of guilt and shame, which can spiral into depression.

These sorts of judgement statements, dismissive words from family or friends, and indifference from the public over mental health has kept many people from seeking treatment for a very wide range of issues.

We need more empathy towards the fact that mental health IS health. We need more insurance support for these issues (because it's expensive!). Furthermore, we need more empathy and support towards those that do get addicted to ANYTHING. Addiction is not limited to drugs.

Starting with the assumption that people are drug abusers is damaging, and is entirely faulty.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#209

Post by Bakary »

RHSman2 wrote: post #170
Bakary wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Disorder is the better word, but it's still a condition defined in relation to how it affects your capacity to function in the target society

I have it for reference. Both my children have it. What is the difference between someone who has it and somebody who doesn’t? Where is the line? There is no biological line because we all have these traits. It is only a disorder of it interferes with how you interact with modern life/society. Being human is a condition and for some a disorder. Here, have a drug (anything that triggers dopamine)

Yes, by definition the difference is only in the sense that it affects your life negatively. Of course, negatively will be relative but logically if the individual is okay with it (and the people in their life agree) they will not seek treatment or a diagnosis.

To be more precise the cliché idea that society is insane and the individual is sane is not really helpful because dysfunction relative to the society is the entire defining aspect of what insanity is.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#210

Post by triggercut »

algoatecorn wrote: post #155
photochemsyn wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions. With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the…

I hope this viewpoint becomes a bit more accepted. The human brain is so complex and we love to put ideas in little boxes, hence the term ADHD. In X number of decades, there's a very good chance we will all look back and realize how dead wrong we were about ADHD, attention, and our extremely crude methods of "curing" it. It blows my mind that especially in American society we are so accepting of putting millions of p…

ADHD is a broad spectrum of developmental delay issues that present as different behaviours but can be observed in ECGs. There is no "cure". Anyone who says otherwise has no idea what they're talking about. There are only strategies for minimising the unwanted effects that cause disruption to your life.

The large portion of people taking stimulant ADHD medication to "study" are not by and large getting the same effect as those with ADHD get. For someone with ADHD the medication balances attention dysregulation, that is curbing hyper-focus, and attention "drift" while on a task. It doesn't temporarily turn you into some superhuman memoriser or Ernest Hemingway. It's not some magical potion buff. For those using it to stay awake to cram more low quality hours of memorisation in, they most likely have good memories to begin with, that's how they got there in the first place, it doesn't enhance their abilities.

The only advantage those with ADHD get is that they finally get to play on a level playing field. That's like saying those who wear glasses are at an unfair advantage in a "spot the difference" exam. Give me a break.

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