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Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

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Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#151

Hi there, This might be an off beat chance, but have you had a history of or ever looked into the topic of adult ADHD? Changing several jobs, jumping between hobbies or projects is textbook ADHD, especially if you don't feel like you can get out of it and describe it as a "huge live hurdle". That is the same for me. Got diagnosed at 30 two months ago. If you have a suspicion you might have it, I highly recommend doin…

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions.

With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the patient.

Amphetamine addiction results in the patient feeling bad when they run out of their powerful stimulant drugs, and the resulting feelings of malaise tend to confirm the patient's belief that they have a neurological disorder (rather than just suffering from the standard set of problems that come with regular amphetamine use).

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#152
post #143

My advice is to not focus. At least not yet. I'm in the 40-45 year old range and assuming you are much younger. Apologies if we are closer in age, since this advice will carry less value. I have often been envious of people who were more focused than I am. I feel they have been able to make more progress in a given amount of time. I worked as a mover in Boston into my mid twenties, spent a bunch of time trying to bec…

Oh man. Thanks for sharing. This text could be coming from me. I also struggle with myself for not having a clear focus. I am interested in a wide range of topics. I also wanna start my company. But I wonder: Will I ever stick? Will I have the grit and the passion to pursue one topic for the next 5-7 years. What's your thinking on this? Btw, they call us "multipotentialites"...

Charlie Munger (of Berkshire Hathaway fame) says that the best investors are multi-disciplinary, because everything in life is interrelated. I tend to agree with him. It goes beyond investing.

This talks about Munger’s concept of multi-disciplines and using lutiple “models” in life. https://25iq.com/2015/08/22/a-dozen-things-ive-learned-from-...

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#153
> Changed several jobs, and in my hobbies, I am jumping from one project to another. [...] How do you find 1 thing you are really good at and stick with it?

For the vast majority of activities (especially those considered viable work), it will not be immediately obvious to you that you love it enough to stick. You must put an unspecified quantity of time and effort into it to figure out if it has legs... Also with these things you tend to be able to keep extracting and discovering new enjoyment from the activity as you get better - that is, if it's truly a good fit. Unfortunately it's not even this simple, because what you do is affected by context, i.e what you love and hate can be easily conflated with where or why or who you are doing it with, which is something else you come to appreciate over time.

I think this is the critical detail left out of the commonly given advice "find what you love to do"... you don't really "find" it, you have to develop it by trying different things enough to see which one sticks.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#154

You don't "find what you are good at" - that is backwards. Instead, you do what you are interested in, and initially you are not good at it, and with enough time, effort, working at learning and practicing, you will become good at it.

This is just a nature/nuture debate. Even if it's entirely nurture (which I doubt), you can't undo your childhood and cultural influences. There are meta-skills and interests you have which are effectively immutable.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#155

Hi there, This might be an off beat chance, but have you had a history of or ever looked into the topic of adult ADHD? Changing several jobs, jumping between hobbies or projects is textbook ADHD, especially if you don't feel like you can get out of it and describe it as a "huge live hurdle". That is the same for me. Got diagnosed at 30 two months ago. If you have a suspicion you might have it, I highly recommend doin…

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions. With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the…

I hope this viewpoint becomes a bit more accepted. The human brain is so complex and we love to put ideas in little boxes, hence the term ADHD. In X number of decades, there's a very good chance we will all look back and realize how dead wrong we were about ADHD, attention, and our extremely crude methods of "curing" it.

It blows my mind that especially in American society we are so accepting of putting millions of people on amphetamines to solve attention disorders. Anyone who has gone through higher-ed in the past 10 years knows a huge number of students are on these meds, and even if they suffer some of attention disorder, they are likely at a large advantage after adding the drugs. I'd love to see the percentage of med school students on these drugs.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. What you describe in an ADHD context might be called "hyperfocus": It's a period of intense focus which you are able to maintain and enjoy cause it stimulates your brain. But, critically, you are not able to maintain this hyperfocus for longer periods on a single topic as the stimulus of novelty flattens out and you become bored and understimulated and this quickly leads to procastination or switching to somethi…

So you are on stimulants now that seem to help with your long term focus? Is there a concern of tolerance and dependency, like coffee/caffeine, where you'll have to keep upping the dose to get the benefit? Sorry if I'm being nosy but this is rather eye-opening to me and makes me think it might be worth speaking to my doc about this.

I apologize if my response is kind of all over the place. I am somewhat of rush this morning, but I wanted to throw my hat into the ring.

To contrast the other user who replied, I have been on stimulants for 8 years now.

I will say that there is a very notable drop in efficacy. Not enough to justify stopping them all together, but I'd say I get about 50% of the benefit on my best days.

I would consider my current experiences much like that of caffeine. It worked amazingly in the beginning, but now I feel like they are necessary to achieve a baseline sense of normalcy. I could raise the dosage, I suppose, but I do not want to go down that path again because it is just a temporary fix.

Honestly, taking time off stimulants has been more effective than increasing dosages. Most people can stop stimulants with little to no issues, but since I have adapted to them over the years, the withdrawals are pretty fucking uncomfortable and debilitating. Though, according to my medical professional of questionable quality, my experiences are still unusual. Still, I try to take weekends off, and it's been helpful none the less.

Going forward, I am thinking of switching to a non-stimulant, which may be an option for you as well if you are indeed ADHD. Despite how ever effective stimulants may be, I believe I am starting to lose more from them than I am gaining from them. At least where I live, the constant drug-testing and various laws surrounding controlled-substances makes stimulants almost not worth it.

The medications can be life-changing, but in the ADHD community, it's well known that there is a honeymoon phase (it's not uncommon to experience stimulant-induced euphoria), thus the real judge of how effective they are should be determined once that period is over. However, not everyone gets that honeymoon period, but I sure did for a few weeks.

If I must be entirely honest, I think that the medications do help, but I never have thought they helped enough. They make life easier, but not easy, and that is something I think I have really struggled to come to terms with. I went in with expectations of a silver-bullet, but left with a tool. My fair warning would be to be careful what you read about ADHD medications online.

One other point that I feel I should warn others about -- something no one ever told me -- is to not let meds give you enough rope to hang yourself. What I mean is: I built a career and a life while having access to these medications. Recently, there has been a nationwide shortage in my area. Every pharmacy was out of stock -- literally none in my area had anything. Zero. Nada. I was working on a big project at work, and basically had to put the entire thing on hold for three weeks because once I ran out -- I was flat useless. I couldn't believe how much I depended on them to do my work. It caused me a lot of stress and anxiety realizing that I am basically living a variant of the plot of "Flowers for Algernon" and that without these medications, I seriously do not think I could maintain the life I was able to build on them. I am not trying to scare you away, but I feel like it would be dishonest to not include both the good and the bad.

If you have anymore questions, I'd be more than glad to try to answer them.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#157

Hi there, This might be an off beat chance, but have you had a history of or ever looked into the topic of adult ADHD? Changing several jobs, jumping between hobbies or projects is textbook ADHD, especially if you don't feel like you can get out of it and describe it as a "huge live hurdle". That is the same for me. Got diagnosed at 30 two months ago. If you have a suspicion you might have it, I highly recommend doin…

ADHD is at best greatly overdiagnosed, and the business of providing ADHD diagnoses is quite analagous to the opiate pain pill clinic debacle, in which 'physicians' got kickbacks from the industry for providing opiate prescriptions. With ADHD, it's 'the medication' that is being sold. Often, the doctor's client is actually the amphetamine derivative supplier, and the product being sold (on a commission basis) is the…

It is also greatly under-diagnosed, and long-term learning skills and coping mechanisms are more effective than medication. I started my treatment with low dose meds and that has helped me developed better skills for management.

The only thing I can say for anyone reading this is to know that everyone has symptoms of ADHD from time to time. Clinical diagnosis looks over your entire life history for consistency of symptoms. So keep that in mind.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#158
It's possible, if not likely, that any given person is not very good at anything. However, you can become good at many things, even if you are not naturally talented. To overcome the talent deficit requires spending more time than a talented person to build the same level of ability.

Since the thing you can control is how much time and effort you put in, the main question you should answer is: what is the thing that you enjoy very much that has a good potential for earning an income? If you love spending time on it, the probability that you spend enough time on it that you become good at it is dramatically increased, and you avoid much misery. Once you find something, you then have to take a leap of faith and stick with it, spending as much time on it as you possibly can, until you are good at it and can make a good income (or you are forced to give up). Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is ADHD really tied to switching hobbies and jobs frequently? I suffer from this too, but I always thought ADHD was the inability to focus in the short term. I can have great focus on daily tasks if I’m interested in them, but my problem is I lose the interest so frequently that I can’t seem to make the leap beyond intermediate competency in a hobby or career direction.

ADHD is the inability to regulate attention. There are a couple ways this presents: 1) Hyperfocus for hours at a time, often forgetting about physical needs like food/drink/bathroom. 2) Extreme trouble getting started on a task (inability to overcome inertia) and constant distraction once started. 3) Switching hobbies, jobs, roles, spouses, etc because the initial stimulation of something new is more rewarding than o…

The first two sound like ADHD but the third doesn’t at all. That sounds like most people in the world. Everyone complains of the mundane, the same things, day in day out. We don’t hear “I love how nothing has ever changed in my life”.

I’ve yet to hear someone describe ADHD in the third way and this thread is the only time I’ve seen folks ever mention it.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#160
You'll have a temporal horizon shift in your 30s/40s where approaching death seems closer than from when you were born.

You work on being a better person everyday and you'll find exactly what you're good at through the process.

Some people might call this practicing "philosophy". It's really just about getting to "know thyself".

I wrote a whole book on this that released last month. Would love to give you a copy to see if it would help you.

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