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Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

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Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#21

Post by seer »

I've had my fair share of switching stuff around and delving _hard_ into a subject that interests me, only after months (years) of practice to abandon it because I got bored found something new. I would call that just "life" and "being a normal curious human". I think the people who do one thing and stick with it are the weird people that need help :-D

But jokes aside I've recently found this gem of a channel - https://www.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD I don't think I have ADHD myself, maybe "a little" whatever that means, but it has some very good advice for people that struggle with this a lot, and if it helps them, I guess it will be effective for people with less severe conditions too!

Aside from that I think the iconic essay from Paul Graham has stayed with me and helped me guide direction decisions, when I've been conscious enough to think about big picture stuff - http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html Moral of the story for me was not to "find the one true thing" as I'm sure there would be plenty in my life - its not "short" as people say. It's more "does this thing open more doors / options for me" or "does this things narrow my options" ... and choose accordingly.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#22

Post by nomilk »

I also switched entire careers (twice), that led me to be 'professional' at 3 things, which means I'm not as good as someone who 'stuck with it' in any of the 3, but I have an extremely unique skillset. So when you say you're "diluted", I hear you say you're in that very special overlapping part of the venndiagram! Congratulations!

Also, while it doesn't answer your question of how, this reinforces that trying to do is a very good idea. It's a podcast episode of Tim Ferris interviewing Adam Robinson (he was friends with Bobby Fischer, the chess player). The entire episode is very much worth listening to, but a key quote:

> I think the American psychologist Maslow said if your only tool is a hammer, you view every problem as a nail. I would flip that and say that the geniuses have very limited toolsets. They have a hammer and they’re geniuses in looking for nails. That’s their genius. They have a very limited skill set but they master it and apply it incredibly well. I’m reminded of the movie Karate Kid. Where it’s wax on, wax off, sand the floor and then he had that crane kicky move, and he won the California State Championship on the base of those three.

Full quote/episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSyMmleisQM&t=31m06s

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#23

Post by reacharavindh »

Speaking only from personal experience. Take what you will.

Sometimes, we overthink stuff. It is okay to be however you approach things. You don't need to be exactly (skilled/good/whatever) like the people you see. I found that, if I stopped thinking too much, and stopped worrying about a specific version of me I have in mind, I just _be_ and end up doing something spontaneous, and leads me to a state I did not originally plan for.

Professionally, I studied computers, and I worked to find my way within the field. Tries being a consultant, software developer, people manager etc to realise that I didn't like any of them, and then stuck to caring for systems and how they work which has been the fascinating part all along. Now, I work as an SRE. Happy to come to work, and inching forward on being a good SRE everyday. I do have a big imposter thought when I listen to talks/ works of other SREs, but this is me. I know and can do things they probably can't.

Hobbies wise, I think the best ones are organic, and happen by a bit of chance + social effect. I ended up playing with a few wood working tools at a garage of my friends' when I was a teenager, and it was always a good memory. When I was away from home, living alone in the US, and had lot of time in my hand after work, I found a local community wood workshop and went there for a woodworking class. It gave me a good time, and I ended up visiting more and more often. I have now been woodworking for the last 12 years, and it is one of those hobbies that make me forget about the rest of the world, when I am focussing and working on a project. I religiously visit my woodshed for 5 hours every Saturday, and it is my time where I can build something tangible and feel the sense of accomplishment without caveats.

Just sharing my experience in case it helps you.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#24

Post by michaelcao »

You should talk to some close friends and ask they to tell you about your strengths. After that, I highly recommend that you read the "Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny" by Tony Robbins. Author said that you should focus on your strengths

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#25

Post by globular-toast »

andrewstuart wrote: post #2

You don't "find what you are good at" - that is backwards. Instead, you do what you are interested in, and initially you are not good at it, and with enough time, effort, working at learning and practicing, you will become good at it.

You won't necessarily become good at something just because you spend time and effort on it. You can certainly enjoy it, but you won't be as good as others who are naturally good at it.

You want to find something that:

1. You enjoy, are interested in, makes you happy etc.,

2. You are naturally good at it, ie. you are talented, will be competitive,

3. Is appreciated by others, ie. they will pay you to do it.

The luckiest people get all three in abundance. Others have to find a balance and compromise on one or the other. 3 can be a deal breaker but you can do without much of either 1 or 2, but not both. However, you will always be at a disadvantage to those who have both 1 and 2.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#27

Post by boppo1 »

jstx1 wrote: post #5
andrewstuart wrote: post #2

You don't "find what you are good at" - that is backwards. Instead, you do what you are interested in, and initially you are not good at it, and with enough time, effort, working at learning and practicing, you will become good at it.

It boils down to the same thing though - OP is struggling to focus on a thing for a long period of time because they don't find stuff interesting enough. You can rephrase it to "how do I find something interesting enough to put a lot of time and effort in".

And what is the answer?

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#28

Post by NickRandom »

(Armchair shrink advice so place as much worth on it as you have paid for it).

Perhaps try to nail down what the underlying issue is?

From the sounds of it you have tried various things and each has failed to click for one reason or another.

From personal experience when in those situations there has usually been something lacking or that needed changing that I tried to 'fix' by constantly changing external factors which of course failed to resolve anything since the underlying cause wasn't addressed.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#29

Post by going_ham »

globular-toast wrote: post #17
kleiba wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seconded. "Practice makes perfect" is an aphorism as old as the ages. I would like to add though that "being good at something" is not the path to enlightenment. Try "something you enjoy" instead, and you may be happier in the end. Given an initial epsilon of talent, the above adage posits that you will get better at it, and in my experience, motivation to do a task is central predictor of how good you will become at…

I disagree with "practice makes perfect". You can keep practising something badly and you'll only get better at doing it badly. This can be seen everywhere. Second language speakers who have no interest in studying the language will continue to sound very non-native after decades of daily use. Musicians build bad habits that hold them back and take a long time to "unlearn". Programmers continue using the same old too…

Yes! That is why deliberate practice requires some mentors or guiding factor. It's really hard to invest in deliberate pratice and most of us overlook it! When practicing quality > quantity.

I gave up a lot of hobbies because I didn't have mentor or guidance factor to help me get past the wall. You can only learn upto a certain point on your own. After that, it requires quite a lot of attention and focus to not suck.

Re: Ask HN: How to find what I am really good at?

#30

Post by njsubedi »

I think you are not asking the right questions. Most people don’t really know what they are really good at. Very few people end up where they are because they decided “I’m good at this particular thing, so I should pursue it” even if it looks like so. You can get better at that “thing” that you regularly do. You should find what motivates you to work more - is that lots of money, or social prestige or relaxing lifestyle? Would you rather be working in solitary or be talking to lots of people? What time of the day do you feel like working? Find answers to a numerous questions about the ideal lifestyle/career you would want. Then it will be easier for you to narrow down to a few options. When you’re motivated and productive, you will automatically start getting better at what you pursue. Before hopping from one project to another, ask yourself if really need to build it. Let go of some unfinished products, and only work on the ones that you are sure you don’t need external help. If you can buy something (a tool, template, design) with money you have, buy it instead of building it. Free yourself. Don’t occupy yourself with tasks that you can delegate (eg freelancers in other countries, etc.). Then at the end you’re left with only the work that you’re good at.
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