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Why are so many adults acting just like children?

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Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#61

Post by hoseja »

raydiatian wrote: post #13
the_other wrote: post #2

I gave up after a paragraph or two. It looked like it was going to moan about people trying to have fun and do some self care. I don’t have time for that. Over time, I’ve come to see many “senior” or “success” behaviours as refined versions of childhood ones. Political sniping, business competitiveness, standard hierarchical power dynamics, etc. These are all “playground tactics” but grown up. I don’t see (many) “suc…

> So, I’m saying “we’re all children”. If you want to complain about adults playing games and wearing bright colours, you also need to complain about adults using armies to take resources and businesses blocking others out of markets. I feel the same, but, this is one of those all or nothing things, and the irony is that our own barbaric origins are holding us back from ‘evolving’ so to speak. We have armies and nucl…

"using armies to take resources and businesses blocking others out of markets" is literally "evolving". Natural selection, baby. It's not pretty.

Unipolarity isn't the only solution but it's the most apparent one, and also the most terrifyingly totalitarian one.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#62

Post by spaceman_2020 »

strikelaserclaw wrote: post #18
the_other wrote: post #2

I gave up after a paragraph or two. It looked like it was going to moan about people trying to have fun and do some self care. I don’t have time for that. Over time, I’ve come to see many “senior” or “success” behaviours as refined versions of childhood ones. Political sniping, business competitiveness, standard hierarchical power dynamics, etc. These are all “playground tactics” but grown up. I don’t see (many) “suc…

our richest man is essentially a man child and i believe mores in society are always established by those at the top.

How is he a “man child”?

Does tweeting funny memes or light trolling make you child? If yes, is that not negated by raising multiple children, founding multiple businesses, and employing hundreds of people?

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#63

Post by kennyadam »

spaceman_2020 wrote: post #59

I have all the paraphernalia of adulthood - a mortgage, a car, a career, a wife, a child (and hopefully more on the way) - but I have none of the mindset, attitude, or even the body language “adults” used to have. Or at least adults from my father’s generation. I do improv on the weekends. Sometimes I produce music. Edgy, electronic stuff. I like to dance and do strange, funny gestures and voices with my kid. Its a r…

Edgy.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#64

Post by keiferski »

I think this actually a serious issue and I’m disappointed that the comments are mostly defensive.

If I had to pick two things that have led to adults acting like children, it would be:

- the lack of any real “coming of age” ritual in Western culture. The closest we get is going to college, which has developed into something deliberately removed from adult reality

- the slow removal of cultural rules that indicated a space was to be taken seriously. For example, wearing a suit and caring about your appearance, not using swear words in public, keeping details of your private life to yourself, and so on.

I read somewhere that memes are the artform of the contemporary Zeitgeist, which makes a ton of sense to me. Memes are funny but ultimately just easy, fast-food-style culture. They would not be the predominant art form in a society capable of building something more complex, spiritual, and long-term, like a medieval cathedral or an Italian Renaissance sculpture.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#66

Post by MrFantastic »

orblivion wrote: post #16
the_other wrote: post #2

I gave up after a paragraph or two. It looked like it was going to moan about people trying to have fun and do some self care. I don’t have time for that. Over time, I’ve come to see many “senior” or “success” behaviours as refined versions of childhood ones. Political sniping, business competitiveness, standard hierarchical power dynamics, etc. These are all “playground tactics” but grown up. I don’t see (many) “suc…

Axe throwing, IPAs, cosplay outfits? Learn to play golf and drink scotch in your smoking jacket like an adult .

Axe throwing is an adult activity. When I was a child I only threw knives.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#67

Post by jononomo »

I've been noticing this for at least a decade now: people don't seem to grow up anymore. When I think of my grandfathers, who were born in 1898 and 1905, respectively, I remember serious men. They were good-humored, but they were adults and they carried their weight in the world. My father, born in 1935, also has that seriousness. It's hard to put a finger on exactly what it is that men under 70 lack now, but it is definitely something important.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#69

Post by overthemoon »

keiferski wrote: post #64

I think this actually a serious issue and I’m disappointed that the comments are mostly defensive. If I had to pick two things that have led to adults acting like children, it would be: - the lack of any real “coming of age” ritual in Western culture. The closest we get is going to college, which has developed into something deliberately removed from adult reality - the slow removal of cultural rules that indicated a…

I too am disappointed in the defensiveness. It's a completely valid point, and using Japan as a precursor in this narrative was really enlightening, I think.

There are a million causes and effects one could talk about here, supporting all manner of ideologies, and of course I've got my own. But that people are increasingly preoccupied with meaningless, child-like consumption, of fun over joy, is actually a problem.

I say this as a big nerd who likes games and comics and so forth, which I think is where some of the defensiveness comes in. I don't think the problem is located in liking comics. It's in making comics your identity. It's adopting the identity of a fan, a consumer, of making that your outward image, that makes people more childish and less trustworthy, less serious, and easier to control.

Re: Why are so many adults acting just like children?

#70

Post by smeej »

I think this may be because this is the first generation in human history to have endless distraction in our pockets, so that's become our "escape of least resistance." Any time we feel overwhelmed, we turn to diversion and distraction.

Pre-world-wide-web-in-your-pocket, what were your options when you needed a break from your regular life? There were definitely unhealthy ones, like drinking to excess, but even that often took place around other people, and it wasn't as easily available as doomscrolling. It's not half as easy to pull out your flask when you're on the train or in an elevator or standing in line at Chipotle for more than 3 minutes and become uncomfortable.

We're the first generation that never has to stand still and be uncomfortable, basically ever. If something is emotionally difficult, we can run from it.

Maybe this stunts us. Maybe it keeps us from gaining the perspective that the discomfort normally either resolves on its own, relatively quickly and in a positive way (i.e., the line quickly leads to lunch), or it inspires action, which might lead us to prove our own efficacy to ourselves when we realize we can do something to address the situation rather than just running away.

Adulthood is characterized by having the perspective that enables us to do unpleasant things in the short-term for the sake of long-term benefits. But if we continue not to need to face even the mild tedium of standing in a line without distraction, how are we ever going to convince ourselves of the benefits of doing anything we don't immediately want to do?

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