Be curious instead. Ask questions. Practice active listening.
Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
101–110 of 118 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#102I am veey opinionated. I report that I don't think something is good at times, but I report that I don't have good rationale for that and as such, my opinion should be disregard unless I manage to put together an objective line of reasoning.
Sometimes, the line of reasoning is there but it's too small.
Other times, when I put it together and write it down is big enough to show that there is a lot of value in doing what I suggested.
So being objective pushes toward challenging your own ideas, if they are still ahead the "competition", there are usually really good reasons.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#103Debate people who have actually different opinions. This might involve discussions with people outside the Bay Area.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#104Earlier quoted context omitted.
> This is why religion and politics are usually not welcome in most parts. This is a very "American" view. Plenty of folks manage to have conversations about these topics in a respectful way - and yes, that includes conversations with strangers and in the workplace too. I don't know why they're so polarising in some contexts, as if everyone has to maintain complete loyalty to their "sports team" and has no time for a…
Personally speaking, I stopped sharing opinions around these topics once I saw people losing their livelihoods for carrying the "wrong" opinions. I'll still discuss with close friends and family. My sister and I have some very spirited conversations around politics, but I wouldn't do the same with my boss. I don't even know what my boss's opinions are and I'm fine with that. As for the "American" comment, there are c…
There aren't many countries where you will get fired for supporting the wrong party, because in most countries you need to be fired for cause. USA is the odd one out here since employers can fire you for whatever reason they like, so managers are used to abusing that power while in other countries managers just learns to work with people instead of firing them at a whim.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#105Do something a different way. Now you have two strong opinions. Do it again and again until you see all ideas as possible.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#106Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#107Great question - I've struggled with the opposite, not being opinionated 'enough'. I've noticed I tend to have more faith in other people's convictions than my own, assuming, essentially, if they believe in something, there must be a great reason behind it My own opinions tend to be weakly expressed & weakly held. It's usually been good, allowing me to listen and understand others. However, growing in career, I feel…
> However, growing in career, I feel my opinions not taken as seriously because the perception of their weakness. Hot tip, if you do have a problem it isn't the strength of your opinions and probably isn't your ability to express them either. Assess the situation to see if one of these 3 things hold: 1) You don't have a lot of experience in the domains in question. 2) The conversation is drifting away from how to rel…
I think being a sycophant is rarely a good long term strategy. More importantly, I don’t think it’s an ethical one.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
> However, growing in career, I feel my opinions not taken as seriously because the perception of their weakness. Hot tip, if you do have a problem it isn't the strength of your opinions and probably isn't your ability to express them either. Assess the situation to see if one of these 3 things hold: 1) You don't have a lot of experience in the domains in question. 2) The conversation is drifting away from how to rel…
I think being a sycophant is rarely a good long term strategy. More importantly, I don’t think it’s an ethical one.
I'm intrigued. Why do you think that is being a sycophant? Which bit do you not like?
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#109Have you tried shutting up? Like seriously. Just shut up.
Abstain from the urge to talk.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#110Had a manager who emphasized the mantra for our team. “Strong opinions, loosely held”. Over time I’ve come to appreciate this more and more. The “loosely held” portion is important for allowing respectful differences of opinion and building a team together. But the “strong opinions” portion is equally important. You should be opinionated and understand why you hold those opinions and be able to defend them. But also…
An important aspect of the "strong opinion" for me has been taking the time to do some self analysis and, as you said, understand why I hold that opinion. Many of the issues I've seen in team engagements come from folks not being willing to dig deeper on their own feelings in an open setting. They end up passively resenting the path the team takes because their opinions are still very much a subconscious thing with p…
In a non-tech context, majority of people get very emotional about held beliefs or ideas based on their stories and personal truth. A challenge to these beliefs, even indirectly, is generally perceived as an attack on the individual. Listening to opinions diametrically opposite to your own without harboring any resentment takes a lot of mental training.