Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, you shouldn't lap join wires to surface-mount pads. But sometimes you have to. Just don't deliberately design something this way and we'll call it good. (Through holes are fine. Mostly.)
Yes, but if you do have to design a PCB for soldering wires to pads, you can increase the strength of the pad by making the pad much larger in the copper layer. You can still keep it the original smaller size in the solder resist layer; keeping the soldering area away from the pad edge and fragile traces there increases the strength further, and gives it a tidy look and a nice soldering experience. For quick one offs…
You need to nail the pad down with a few vias (under soldermask is fine) or use a through hole. Please just use a through hole if you can. They're a lot more reliable than just about anything else. Even SMT connectors rip off boards without much trouble. (This is my job. I have seen some things.)