Facebook is not trying to be a "general authentication provider": they are trying to be a "social application enabler". If you have no interest in making a social application, which to Facebook means you fundamentally at bare minimum are going to need their friends list (or they, and I, would question what you even mean by "social"), then you should not use Facebook's authentication mechanism.
Really, it comes down to this statement you made: "this is one of the appealing parts of facebook auth, imho" "This is with the most basic authentication mechanism that facebook offers." It also is not Facebook's fault if "most apps ask for" a permission you do not want to grant. In fact, it is the fault of the other users on the service who don't care about granting that permission: instead of complaining to Facebook, you should complain to the developers, and honestly instead of complaining to the developers, you should spend your time educating the public on "least priviledge".
To instead claim that is Facebook's fault is an exactly analogous argument to claiming that all computing platforms should be closed, as it is then also Google's fault if a lot of developers ask for permission to run native code on their Android devices, instead of just using Java (which is at least memory safe): better to just avoid the whole mess and remove the functionality, right?