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What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
61–70 of 131 posts
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#62When someone dares to step forward and speak up, listen. Just be. It's one of the most powerful things you can do. Hijacking conversation doesn't create connection, it breaks it. I might be in a minority here but I feel a huge sense of relief when someone shares an anecdote that tells me they understand what I'm going through, because they've been through similar things themself. (I'm probably oversharing, but one of…
I feel the same, it's not that clear-cut. I think it can serve to convey understanding, familiarity, and also safe space to share that particular thing without judgment (i.e. like saying "don't worry what I will think, I've been there"). That's why I also have the need to do it when listening to others and caring to make them more comfortable and trusting to share.
Of course, the difference is usually whether it is done more as a side-note while keeping focus on the first person, once or twice in that conversation - vs getting excited and shifting focus to own experience, continuing to expand and branch the retelling, or remembering 5 additional occasions when that happened...
I think it can generally be clear whether you care and are participating in the conversation by doing it, or being self-absorbed and not really wanting to hear and emphatize...
Also, that sounds like a quite difficult situation, and glad to hear that you had opportunity (at least at those occasions) to share and feel un-alone in it. I hope it gets better.
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#63I’m a little drunk and I have not even read the article but I was discussing this very thing with my friends. We have so many stories and we are each going through so much struggle individually. Why can’t we be kind and considerate of each other?
Ironically, the author mentions what you've done here directly and calls it "Narrative Take Over":
"We try to communicate "I understand" and go on to provide a personal anecdote. Our story is usually of something that we think is in the experiential vicinity of what someone is sharing with us. This, however, is not empathy."
The easiest way to be kind and considerate is to listen and attempt to understand rather than making assumptions. Even on the Internet :)
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#64> It's possible to grow numb when inundated by stories of hardship and pain.
Sometimes the problem is skepticism. There are people that tell stories who I'm relatively sure are fabulists. It's a lot of work to act engaged with a story that doesn't ring true.
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
heatwave is also caused by global warming caused by co2 levels as energy use rises with inflation. inflation then widens wealth parity gap and social media reminds individuals to take risks they cannot afford and so on.... inflation causes stock prices to rise and factory outputs, exports to rise leading to more energy consumption. edit: i think i know why your brother is mad at you
Again, non sequitur. If anything, energy use falls with inflation, as people can't afford to use as much.
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Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#66Sonder: n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra…
maybe I'm just an asshole but I've felt whatever is the opposite of sonder these days when I come across people that are so clueless and inattentive they might as well be zombies.
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Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#67When someone dares to step forward and speak up, listen. Just be. It's one of the most powerful things you can do. Hijacking conversation doesn't create connection, it breaks it. I might be in a minority here but I feel a huge sense of relief when someone shares an anecdote that tells me they understand what I'm going through, because they've been through similar things themself. (I'm probably oversharing, but one of…
That is very interesting. I've never understood that phenomenon. I've been through a bunch of hard things but another person telling me they've gone through it too essentially does nothing for my emotional state. I actually prefer not to hear more about problems and distract myself instead with doing something else.
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#68I don't agree with this article.
I do agree that everyone is living a story that you know nothing about. But I think everyone on some level is aware of this lack of knowledge about other peoples' lives. In fact I feel it's rather obvious that even the most random person on the street lives a very complex life.
A call for compassion because people are "unaware" of the complex lives other people live is a feel good narrative that isn't true. Everyone is fully "aware."
The true horror of human nature is this: We are all aware of the hardships and the stories everyone else goes through. But our compassion has limits. At its most fundamental level, nobody cares about you and you don't really care about others.
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#69I’m a little drunk and I have not even read the article but I was discussing this very thing with my friends. We have so many stories and we are each going through so much struggle individually. Why can’t we be kind and considerate of each other?
When you live in a system that increasingly benefits the few at the expense of many, anger is a natural immune response. A healthy catalyst for change, really.
Re: What will you do with the stories entrusted to you?
#70I'm not living a story. My life is really boring.
You may be at the start of a classic story of an unexpected journey.