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The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

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Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#31

Post by edmcnulty101 »

balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

Emojis may be the worst thing to happen to conversation in history.

They are the laziest form of communication on earth.

It's a reply without having to think of anything to further the conversation.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#32

Post by DiggyJohnson »

lanstin wrote: post #24
DiggyJohnson wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explai…

Too much screen time makes people bubble over with the desire to speak which makes it hard to have normal conversation till that need subsides. Even pre-computer, I had a term at a college once with basically no:friends or social acquaintances, ended by one of my best friends visiting so we could tour around. I talked at my friend for like two days before taking a breath and asking how he was doing. And yeah, develop…

Really well put - thanks for extending my point. The experience you described in the first paragraph is very similar to the one that led me to realize how necessary it was for me to become aware of the way I communicate (conversate?) w/ others.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#33

Post by edmcnulty101 »

agumonkey wrote: post #15
balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

I'm fed up with conversations. I value altruistic softness, politeness and being sociable. But it's a shallow muddy game without the right feel or tension. Too much time it devolves on vague if not fluff talk where people are more focused on liability rather than honesty, fun, joy or thinking. Even with best efforts in seeking shared fun the stats are too low.

> where people are more focused on liability rather than honesty, fun, joy or thinking.

You have to find people who don't give a fuck. They're way more fun to talk to.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#34

Post by agumonkey »

edmcnulty101 wrote: post #33
agumonkey wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm fed up with conversations. I value altruistic softness, politeness and being sociable. But it's a shallow muddy game without the right feel or tension. Too much time it devolves on vague if not fluff talk where people are more focused on liability rather than honesty, fun, joy or thinking. Even with best efforts in seeking shared fun the stats are too low.

> where people are more focused on liability rather than honesty, fun, joy or thinking. You have to find people who don't give a fuck. They're way more fun to talk to.

Partly true, you don't want totally free radicals either :)

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#35

Post by tazard »

edmcnulty101 wrote: post #31
balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

Emojis may be the worst thing to happen to conversation in history. They are the laziest form of communication on earth. It's a reply without having to think of anything to further the conversation.

They are a replacement for non verbal communication such as a head nod, or hand wave, or a smile. Not a way to express a full thought in and of itself.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#36

Post by dbtc »

DiggyJohnson wrote: post #12
balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explai…

To add, the platforms which make this instant dopamine available are marketing platforms, and they encourage (reward) a social posture of self-marketing.

So not only do us 'users' become products, but we are rewarded for selling ourselves.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#37

Post by plugin-baby »

DiggyJohnson wrote: post #32
lanstin wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Too much screen time makes people bubble over with the desire to speak which makes it hard to have normal conversation till that need subsides. Even pre-computer, I had a term at a college once with basically no:friends or social acquaintances, ended by one of my best friends visiting so we could tour around. I talked at my friend for like two days before taking a breath and asking how he was doing. And yeah, develop…

Really well put - thanks for extending my point. The experience you described in the first paragraph is very similar to the one that led me to realize how necessary it was for me to become aware of the way I communicate (conversate?) w/ others.

Converse?

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#38

Post by swayvil »

balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

The match is no fun.

I've seen another kind of conversation, in a crowd, where the aim is to keep the attention upon yourself.

On social media I sometimes say pointy things to attract a conversation. Is that similar? Maybe.

I have a couple favorite subjects that I find almost impossible to get conversations about.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#39

Post by MrVandemar »

supertofu wrote: post #6
LoveMortuus wrote: post #4

I don't know... When I'm reading something that really excites me I usually want to tell others about it and talk about it, why it excited me, what I find interesting, thus encouraging conversation.

I feel the exact same way. Except it seems that no one I ever meet cares a single bit about about the topics that excite me, and aren't polite or curious enough to indulge me 1-3 minutes to share the exciting things about these topics. So usually I just listen to people talk about themselves. :/

There's a lot of it about. I usually solve programming problems in my head until they stop talking.

Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)

#40

Post by gausswho »

eficek wrote: post #17
balutdev wrote: post #5

The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…

I'm a very young millenial, probably a year or two older than the other Gen Z replier. As of late I've really been able to resonate with feeling as though other people, especially those at my age range (the "ipad generation"), struggle to converse outside of the "stuff they like" - their comfort zone. It's very frustrating, and it makes me feel as though I can't relate to others as easily. I've often wondered if this…

Powerful prose. And my reading of you is that we are getting what we want, for a certain base level of we. And because we prioritize for the base, the outsider passions are increasingly estranged and neglected.
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