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The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
21–30 of 57 posts
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#22The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…
Do you have kids? My very most favorite thing to do is to converse with my kids, 17-25, and my second is to somehow overhear them discussing things amongst their friends. Language styles have surely changed, and they have a lot more media and comms savvy, but an exchange of propositions intended to elucidate an issue more clearly seems to be alive and well.
And as far as people your own age, perhaps you are encountering the sad truth that most of adult interaction is not like collegiate exploration of reality, nor even the semi good natured posturing of high school, but the out and out war of junior high school.
Seek out small groups with interesting concerns and you can find open, inquisitive minds.
Also, those dumb strangers, probably they all have at least one interesting story in them, try a strategy of adjusting your words to make what you wish to find more probably. It won’t always work, but enough to make public transit a fun way to get around.
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#23[deleted]
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#24The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…
I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explai…
Too much screen time makes people bubble over with the desire to speak which makes it hard to have normal conversation till that need subsides. Even pre-computer, I had a term at a college once with basically no:friends or social acquaintances, ended by one of my best friends visiting so we could tour around. I talked at my friend for like two days before taking a breath and asking how he was doing.
And yeah, developing the ability to listen to what people are saying without getting overwhelmed by/your internal stream of thoughts makes listening a lot more interesting and more useful. Much misunderstanding can be avoided and many interesting things to ask about are only subtly hinted at the first time.
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#25[deleted]
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#26I don't know... When I'm reading something that really excites me I usually want to tell others about it and talk about it, why it excited me, what I find interesting, thus encouraging conversation.
I'd love to hear about this! Anything you're reading like that lately? To your point, though, I live in a major and supposedly-sophisticated city, and one of my go-to smalltalk questions is, "So, what're you reading these days?" I don't know if I've become an old grump — or if I just have poor luck of the draw — but lately it's been a deeply depressing question. A staggering number of people will quietly (or, occasio…
If you like conversing about reading, and you are short of people that also like it, arrange a book club or join a book club.
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#27"We are reading ourselves into a silent race." If only!
Reading twitter posts and facebook walls, maybe. I wonder though, if the same thing was said for email and instant messaging when it was first popularized.
Even writing: https://newlearningonline.com/literacies/chapter-1/socrates-...
But there are still plenty of book clubs, I was in one for years, and I read a lot of books and talked about them. Books I wouldn’t have picked in a thousand years but were none the less fascinating, and easier to finish what with the group effort.
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#28I don't know... When I'm reading something that really excites me I usually want to tell others about it and talk about it, why it excited me, what I find interesting, thus encouraging conversation.
I'd love to hear about this! Anything you're reading like that lately? To your point, though, I live in a major and supposedly-sophisticated city, and one of my go-to smalltalk questions is, "So, what're you reading these days?" I don't know if I've become an old grump — or if I just have poor luck of the draw — but lately it's been a deeply depressing question. A staggering number of people will quietly (or, occasio…
I did the same with my younger colleagues. It’s depressing.
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#29The article in its current format is almost unreadable. The art of conversation is unknown to many. I attempt to explain to others that conversation is a volley - not a match. Serve up softballs, allow others to answer questions, and then return the favor by asking a question. Conversations with the iPad generation are almost worthless. Conversations with strangers are often fruitless. I am silent for the most part b…
I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explai…
> There is so much showing others this thing or that, always asymmetrically. There is a pervasive fear of wasting the other persons’ time - I think this has to do with us growing up with instant dopamine available in our palms.
This really resonated with me. Thank you
Re: The Lost Art of Conversation (1899)
#30Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explai…
> There is so much showing others this thing or that, always asymmetrically. There is a pervasive fear of wasting the other persons’ time - I think this has to do with us growing up with instant dopamine available in our palms. This really resonated with me. Thank you
Cheers, glad you saw some value in my perspective. It's based strongly on both my own missteps and those of others.