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How to be interesting (2006)

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Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#21

Post by Mz »

twelvechairs wrote: post #16
Mz wrote: post #14

Okay, let's suppose one manages to be "interesting". How does one translate that to a fatter bank account? I liked the article but I'm wondering if anyone knows of resources (or has opinions) that address the next step.

A fatter bank account its not 'a next step' from "interesting". Its almost entirely separate.... Making money from real creativity is usually pretty hard - those that are creative tend to break the barriers whilst others make the money....

Thanks for replying.

It's the next step I would personally like to take. I've been told repeatedly that I'm "interesting". I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to do with that (other than get into hot water). I feel I've made some progress in the right direction but I am still working out pieces of it in my head and looking for resources to help me put the final pieces in places.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#22

Post by mbrock »

I think it's good to be interested kind of across the spectrum, both in abstract ideas and very concrete stuff. Some people never take the bird's eye view, but it can be a very powerful source of inspiration; some people stay there all the time, which isn't very fun.

My random idea is to keep two books on your nightstand, one being something like for example an introduction to Hegel's phenomenology of spirit, and the other being something like a biography, novel, or history book.

I've always found that thinking is most fun when you get these little sparks between the abstract and the concrete. "Oh, the way this saxophonist is tracing out different lines but always returning to the zero state of the modal backing chord makes me think of Deleuze & Guattari — I wonder if you can think about the 'body without organs' of a jazz tune?" (This is also a good way of being a bit pretentious about all sorts of stuff...)

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#23

Post by spodek »

todsul wrote: post #7

Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real substance. I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1) those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually matter. This list is designed to…

"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile."

If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception.

If someone perceives you as interesting you are interesting. To them, at least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting topics is not interesting -- except to people who are interested in brooding loners.

Your distinction between appearing to matter and mattering sounds like the difference between getting a job or project done or not. Producing results is orthogonal. Might as well get the job done and be interesting.

I've always produced, but I've only recently learned to be interesting. Being interesting and making connections is great. Life is much better when people like taking an interest in you.

Anyway, I wrote a series on communication skills exercises that help people communicate and make connections -- http://joshuaspodek.com/communication-skills-exercises-6. They work great.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#24

Post by funkah »

I largely agree with this, but reading it made me realize that I'd rather be interested than interesting. I love soaking up interesting developments in tech and the world at large, I love reading and stimulating my brain. But I don't really care if I stimulate anyone else's. I suppose that is selfish.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#25

Post by wallflower »

Do you really want to connect with someone? Or do you just want to "try" to connect with someone?

You might not like this - there are no tricks, really. It's about putting yourself out there..

Guys talking about football is just a proxy for talking about feelings. Talk about how you feel about something, facts are boring...

Emotions are what make people interesting. Even the most logical people are, at the core, irrational beings.

The core of our brain that makes decisions has no capacity to understand language.

I'm only human. The most interesting people to me are the people who are sincerely interested in me. Usually, that is reciprocal. Conversation isn't a Q&A; it's not a give and take. It's a sharing of your lives. You're not going to hit if off with everyone. But if you use inane social lubricants like 'Nice weather, huh?' you are practically guaranteeing a Tivo'd rote, robotic conversation

The more you "put yourself out there", the better your intentions, the better your connections (see below)

> It takes relationships to make relationships. And, in general, to make relationships, you have to allow vulnerability. Vulnerability is the difference between a conversation that starts, "How about this weather we're having?" and a conversation that starts, "Oh my God, let me tell you about how I just fell in a puddle in front of a group of nuns."

The former is so boring that it makes listeners want to crawl under a table; the latter creates a spark and a list of follow-up questions. These are two extreme examples, but generally, the more of yourself you put out there, the more others will have to connect with.

Excerpt from a Nerve article on 'am I doomed?'

http://www.nerve.com/advice/miss-information/miss-informatio...

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#26

Post by lhnz »

spodek wrote: post #23
todsul wrote: post #7

Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real substance. I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1) those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually matter. This list is designed to…

"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile." If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception. If someone perceives you as interesting you are interesting. To them, at least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting…

You are right that the word "interesting" is a perception but I think what the parent post was suggesting was that: there is the definite possibility that on doing what the author of the article suggests you appear 'interesting' for some people, but to others you appear as somebody inauthentically 'trying to appear interesting'.

I agree with the parent post. Although I'd consider this kind of person relatively interesting, I'd mentally put them on a lower level for doing 'interesting things' with a lack of passion.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#27

Post by mqqq »

wallflower wrote: post #25

Do you really want to connect with someone? Or do you just want to "try" to connect with someone? You might not like this - there are no tricks, really. It's about putting yourself out there.. Guys talking about football is just a proxy for talking about feelings. Talk about how you feel about something, facts are boring... Emotions are what make people interesting. Even the most logical people are, at the core, irra…

Your post is so full of feel good advice that it is boring, annoying, and not interesting. And to top it off it all sounds like BS. I feel like killing myself now.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#28

Post by _delirium »

spodek wrote: post #23
todsul wrote: post #7

Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real substance. I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1) those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually matter. This list is designed to…

"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile." If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception. If someone perceives you as interesting you are interesting. To them, at least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting…

Perhaps I should use different terminology, but in my own interactions with people, I do find myself distinguishing people who "seemed interesting" from those who "really" turned out to be interesting. It mostly has to do with long-term perceptions after we've interacted for a while, and whether the interestingness turns out to be sustainable and have depth.

Re: How to be interesting (2006)

#30

Post by bravura »

stdbrouw wrote: post #12
bravura wrote: post #6

The article doesn't actually draw any connection between business success and being "interesting". This is just taken for granted by the author, but not supported. The article's advice isn't so much about how to be "interesting", as it is about how to "repeatedly put yourself out there in a public way". Being able to fail publicly is a useful business skill, mind you. There was an interview on HN a while back, can't…

Maybe it doesn't draw that connection because not everything in this world is about business success? You're probably right that the author believes that "being interesting" is a marketable quality yet doesn't really explain why that would be, but I really like this piece much more as a guide to personal development. You know, to help us be a nice and fun and interesting human beings.

The author immediately frames the exercise as part of business training. That's why I drew the connection between "interestingness" to business success.
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