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The WFH Folks

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Re: The WFH Folks

#41

Post by dymk »

Meaningful social connections are built with coworkers by doing your job well, making sure you're communicating your work with them, and generally being a pleasant, trustworthy human being.

Coworkers are, generally, not the same as "real" friends. Certainly not those on your immediate team. Keep the relationship professional.

It's going to be a challenge to share deep personal feelings and views, because at the end of the day, the things you say to them can put your employment at risk.

Re: The WFH Folks

#42

Post by Existenceblinks »

Kinda yes. It's consequence of subsequence. Been 7 years that I don't have to rely on my old social circle for connection and work benefit, and I wanted out in the first place too. So I think it's profit with, of course, cost. Co-workers? Idk, I only like one guy, my boss, he's the nicest despite I didn't meet him in real life, I'd fly 18hrs to meet him someday, no problems!

Re: The WFH Folks

#44

Post by philliphaydon »

I’ve been WFH since Jan 2020. Sometimes I like it… most of the time I really miss being in the office.

Miss chatting, going out for an hour at lunch with co-workers.

Miss being able to do whiteboard sessions and have proper discussions.

I also feel less productive at home. It’s more difficult to focus at home, much easier to get distracted.

Re: The WFH Folks

#45

Post by eclipticplane »

You're missing your 'second place'. And, for a lot of modern society, your 'third place', too. This exacerbates the loss you feel for your second place. First is 'home', second is 'work', third is 'community'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

You don't _need_ a 'second place', but you may find it helpful to double down on the first and third.

The original book, The Great Good Place by Ray Oldenburg, is a bit dated. It was written at the cusp of modern connected life (late 80s?). While it does bore a few faults, the concept has helped me immensely in being purposeful and direct in adopting a 'third' place.

Re: The WFH Folks

#46

Post by willjp »

I don’t feel disconnected. My workplace/manager is pretty exceptional about scheduling some time for us to get to know each other.

That said, I’ll acknowledge my bias - I’m fairly quiet and introverted, I feel more comfortable with video chats than water cooler talk.

Re: The WFH Folks

#47

Post by [deleted] »

brainfish wrote: post #40
mtpockets wrote: post #26

I’m an eng manager at a public company. Short answer - relationships cannot be made via zoom. Thus, interactions are transaction based. I can provide a million examples of why this is a fact in as simple as online dating where you always want to end up meeting the person and digital correspondence is not sufficient to cross the boundary of trust between 2 humans. …and trust is the one thing that gets you promoted, ge…

As an eng mgr of a fully remote team, I do not agree with your assertion that "relationships cannot be made via zoom." Of the sixteen people I work closely with, I have met fewer than half in person, including a similar fraction of the engineers reporting to me. I seek to balance the lack of in-person interactions by leaning heavily into interest, compassion, and vulnerability. I take time in my 1:1s to ask about fol…

[deleted]

Re: The WFH Folks

#48

Post by tastysandwich »

With WFH there's this "forced" element to socialisation which I think is a problem.

When we were all working in an office together, the socialisation was way more natural. Someone did something funny, you all laughed together. You made a coffee/tea in the kitchen, had a brief, totally natural & lovely chat with someone, then went back to work.

But with WFH there's no spontaneity. We have a morning meeting with brief status-updates and fixed time for "chit-chat". Everyone just awkwardly goes quiet. What the hell do you talk about in a hangout where you're addressing 20 people?

I think this speaks to the way we form bonds with people. But maybe it's just me.

We form bonds by experiencing stuff together. All of my friends I either went to work with or studied with. We weren't stuck in a room and told "now be friends!" Even my brother-in-law. All the family dinners stuck making small talk couldn't amount to one day when we fixed up a car together.

WFH we've definitely lost the opportunity for those moments. There's social events (lawn bowls lol), but those are often outside of working hours and require people to divert time that could be spent with their own family/friends.

Re: The WFH Folks

#49

Post by justinwp »

I don't share interests with most of my coworkers so I don't really feel like I'm missing out. The bigger issue has been adjustments to how I socialize with others from outside my work circle that share my interests during a pandemic. These challenges are greater for me than WFH.

Re: The WFH Folks

#50

Post by dymk »

kodah wrote: post #30

I just started at a 100% remote company. I don't feel a loss of social interaction here, but I did at my previous company. There's a couple things I would note if you want to succeed with a remote culture: - Have very direct conversations on your team about how you want communication to go. Our agreements sit right next to our team charter. - How the company manages chat seems to affect how people communicate. If the…

A framework for naming channels is something you don't realize you need until it's too late. My company is absolutely atrocious at it, and we now have thousands of channels. Many are cryptically named, and we have at least a couple of competing "standards" for naming channels. It's a real challenge to find what you're looking for.
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