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The WFH Folks

news.ycombinator.com

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Re: The WFH Folks

#31

Post by cassonmars »

sedeki wrote: post #11
cassonmars wrote: post #7

The loss of cognitive overhead of dealing with a physical workspace with distractions abound has to be countered with a new cognitive overhead – putting initiative forward in reaching out to coworkers, setting up regular 1:1s to just chat. While the conversations may initially feel forced (because they are indeed artificial), once camaraderie is built, it feels as natural as an office chat.

Setting up regular 1:1s just to chat sounds good. Though if I were new at a company, I'd feel forced to have a work-related/productive reasons to schedule these meetings... What do you title these 1:1s so that your coworkers will accept them, and so that your manager won't lift and eyebrow?

Literally just "Name/Name 1:1" so it's indistinguishable from other 1:1s, but if you're in a remote org and they aren't okay with and encouraging these kinds of recurring meetings, it's probably a toxic environment. They don't dominate a calendar, maybe a grand total of 2.5 hrs a week at most.

Re: The WFH Folks

#32

Post by molsongolden »

sedeki wrote: post #11
cassonmars wrote: post #7

The loss of cognitive overhead of dealing with a physical workspace with distractions abound has to be countered with a new cognitive overhead – putting initiative forward in reaching out to coworkers, setting up regular 1:1s to just chat. While the conversations may initially feel forced (because they are indeed artificial), once camaraderie is built, it feels as natural as an office chat.

Setting up regular 1:1s just to chat sounds good. Though if I were new at a company, I'd feel forced to have a work-related/productive reasons to schedule these meetings... What do you title these 1:1s so that your coworkers will accept them, and so that your manager won't lift and eyebrow?

Coffee/tea/donut chats. There are chat apps like Donut but you can also set these up manually. Everybody who is interested joins a chat channel then an admin generates random pairings each week.

Re: The WFH Folks

#33

Post by throwawaysleep »

mtpockets wrote: post #26

I’m an eng manager at a public company. Short answer - relationships cannot be made via zoom. Thus, interactions are transaction based. I can provide a million examples of why this is a fact in as simple as online dating where you always want to end up meeting the person and digital correspondence is not sufficient to cross the boundary of trust between 2 humans. …and trust is the one thing that gets you promoted, ge…

Can't you just haul in the managers then? I don't need or desire anyone's trust. My code gets reviewed, so there is no real need to trust me. Bring in the decision makers and leave the minions like me who just silently spin in chairs during meetings at home.

Re: The WFH Folks

#34

Post by jeremydeanlakey »

The desire for social connection at work might be dependent on phase-of-life.

My first job out of college had lots of socializing. In fact, that's where I met my wife.

Now I have kids. I don't really want to socialize with coworkers.

Socializing with coworkers was low before COVID. Now it's even slightly lower and I'm okay with that.

Edit: Also the impact of social connection on productivity might depend a lot on role and personalities involved.

Re: The WFH Folks

#36

Post by agentultra »

Personally I don't go to work to make friends and feel absolutely no need to socialize with co-workers.

I'd rather socialize with my neighbors, actual friends, and family. Which wfh has given me more opportunities for.

Although one way I've managed to make more social connections is by spending more time in my local community. I have a pass to my local co-working space, I infrequently work out of my coffee shop, and I attend local developer meetups. Some of the people I've met through them I often grab a coffee with during the day.

Re: The WFH Folks

#38

Post by bloodyplonker22 »

overgard wrote: post #15

Honestly yeah. I used to have a lot of friendships formed in the workplace, but the post pandemic places I've worked, there's certainly coworkers I liked but I can't say I know much about them at all. I don't think zoom socializing works all that great, ie zoom happy hours or whatnot but maybe that's just me. On the other hand, not having a commute, and not having to fake being busy during down times makes it easier…

Zoom happy hours feel more like forced social interactions. Similar to daily stand-ups, but they go around asking how your day was and what you did in your day. And you have to share that with everyone on the call instead of the group you normally talk to in person only.

Re: The WFH Folks

#39

Post by radicalriddler »

Working from home made me realize how good the office is for socializing BUT... WFH let me move states to one of the biggest cities in the country and my social life has absolutely thrived, so I'm not too fussed.

My social connection with my coworkers has lowered, but I don't mind, because that's not why I work, and I've fostered a lot of social connections outside of work due to my move to full remote.

Re: The WFH Folks

#40

Post by brainfish »

mtpockets wrote: post #26

I’m an eng manager at a public company. Short answer - relationships cannot be made via zoom. Thus, interactions are transaction based. I can provide a million examples of why this is a fact in as simple as online dating where you always want to end up meeting the person and digital correspondence is not sufficient to cross the boundary of trust between 2 humans. …and trust is the one thing that gets you promoted, ge…

As an eng mgr of a fully remote team, I do not agree with your assertion that "relationships cannot be made via zoom." Of the sixteen people I work closely with, I have met fewer than half in person, including a similar fraction of the engineers reporting to me. I seek to balance the lack of in-person interactions by leaning heavily into interest, compassion, and vulnerability. I take time in my 1:1s to ask about folks' lives, making sure to remember past details they have shared and to make it clear that I am generally interested in everything they have to share about themselves. But I think more importantly, I am conscientiously more vulnerable in my own sharing with those who take an interest than I might be otherwise. I put a little extra effort into "broadcasting" my interest in my colleagues as humans to make sure some of that truth makes it over the wire. The result is that I have very real human connections with nearly all of them, and the engineers on my team have stuck with me through some crazy s** that I don't think they all would have had it not been for those connections.

It's easy to get into a work mindset when using work tools. That can in turn cause us to skip those human interactions such as more personal conversations that might usually happen at lunch or whatever. Taking the time to elicit them, where natural, without the natural cues is hugely important. I have honestly never felt more connected with a team than I do with my current one, which was formed almost entirely post-pandemic. Hell, folks were building real human relationships with just pen and paper for ages not long ago. It can absolutely be done.

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