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The Church of Interruption (2018)

sambleckley.com

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Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#91

Post by tdeck »

atq2119 wrote: post #87
tdeck wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Want the speaker to get on with it? Circular motion with the tip of the index finger around the y-axis. If someone did this to me I'd find it pretty offensive, much more so than being interrupted. Unless that person was explicitly asked to help keep time beforehand. Details aside, all of these examples are basically substitutes for 1-3 words. Hardly anyone is interrupting to say just a word or two, and such interru…

As usual, different cultures. It's better to not jump to conclusions that somebody is trying to offend you.

In what culture is it acceptable to make a "wrap it up" motion to your peer when they're speaking? I'm genuinely curious because in US culture that would be seen as condescending.

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#92

Post by robocat »

jackblemming wrote: post #18
robocat wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your completely ignored their point and then responded violently towards awillen. There is more to polite conversation than just interruptions.

Perhaps I’ve seen too many quiet engineers rudely interrupted to be objective. Many of them happen to be women as well. The self proclaimed interrupters become surprisingly polite when speaking to the CEO. What an interesting phenomenon ;)

What is your point of repeating the obvious?

You basically accused awillen of being that type of engineer, even though awillen wrote against being that type of interruptive arsehole. awillen is asking “how do we convert people to church of interruption”, they are not saying to interrupt.

Your reply to my comment is tangential, without connecting to the point I made (perhaps because my own comment was rude: I do reread the https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html regularly and I try to follow them . . .).

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#93

Post by Cthulhu_ »

QuarterReptile wrote: post #38
canadev wrote: post #31

An interesting article. Something interesting maybe none or few you will likely experience: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous meetings, presumably any 12-step meeting. Say what you will about the 12 steps, and the belief of god that is associated with them. Feel free to disagree with the dogma. As a member I openly do that from time to time. The real beauty of these meetings is that when so…

>I do not believe in an all powerful and loving god because there is simply too much needless suffering in the world I'm suspect that's not the only reason, but I'll ask just in case: how much can suffering be reduced without the abrogation of free will?

I do sometimes think about what a "good" socialist dictator would be like - and I'm aware there's been quite a few. But things like 'forced' socialism like capping health care prices or nationalizing health care, making rich people pay more taxes to lift up the poor (economic leveling), making politicians live as the poorest people they rule over for a few months.

Or things like limiting free speech; I like to think the world would be a better place if nazis, the KKK and the Confederation, their offshoots, teachings and their symbolisms were banned altogether. No tolerance for intolerance, and stuff.

I mean yeah, this line of thinking is dangerous, and the political left-right spectrum is more like a horseshoe, and I'm no political philosophist or anything. But as we are now, the right-wing is leaning heavily towards totalitarianism, to the point of wanting to abolish 'bad' law enforcement (like the FBI and IRS) in favor of their own cronies (the SS?), and disregarding the constitution and other laws while it suits them.

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#94

Post by Cthulhu_ »

smogcutter wrote: post #40

He’s describing a form of “cooperative overlapping”: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/25/opinion/interrupting-coop... Things like this are cultural and learned. I think for many people it isn’t until they first hit a radical change of frame (say, going away to college or moving to a new city) that they realize there even are different conversational styles. One thing I hadn’t considered until TFA is the effect of not…

You stop when you have said as little as possible, but no less; make your point, don't start repeating it because then you assume the other party didn't get it.

Here's a good video on the subject: https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_...

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#95

Post by Cthulhu_ »

rollinDyno wrote: post #7

I have a friend who is a Barker, who I am always annoyed at because I am a Meek type and I more often than not cannot finish making my points to her. I do not feel that she listens to me. Why do I still like her? This article, to me, pairs very well with the other top post on HN right now [1]. Thanks to that article I learned that we feel more connected towards someone the quicker they reply to us [2]. There's no con…

It's an issue with a lot of people who therefore feel unwelcome - mainly thinking of the software development industry here, and of gender differences. It's like if you're not blustery and assertive, you won't get a foot in the door in these discussions and your views on a matter will be unheard.

I think group conversations at work should have a moderator. Use a talking stick if needs be.

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#97

Post by Cthulhu_ »

robmoore121 wrote: post #33
ggm wrote: post #24

Serial Offender, fallen off the wagon many times over the decades. I've seen some amazing pushback. A researcher who bellowed "I HAVE NOT FINISHED" so loud, it was like the MTV man-in-a-chair reaction from everyone else. I wasn't the guilty party that time but I could have been. It's often said people believe women do most interrupting when the stats are very good 75% or more in mixed dialogue, is men's speaking time…

RE: "correct" In some Asian vernacular Englishes (e.g. Indian, Singaporean), this is means "yes, right" / "I agree". I used to experience your reaction to people saying "correct" to me while I talk (i.e. "fuck you") but since then, my understanding has increased, and I interpret it to mean "yes, right" / "I agree". Additionally, it may be that people who say this aren't native speakers of an Asian vernacular English,…

To me (also non-native speaker) it seems synonymous with "right", "yes" or "mm hmm" so I don't see the issue either. Mind you, in Dutch we'd also say "Klopt", which is a colloquialism that also translates to "that is correct".

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#98

Post by Cthulhu_ »

WaitWaitWha wrote: post #85
robmoore121 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

RE: "correct" In some Asian vernacular Englishes (e.g. Indian, Singaporean), this is means "yes, right" / "I agree". I used to experience your reaction to people saying "correct" to me while I talk (i.e. "fuck you") but since then, my understanding has increased, and I interpret it to mean "yes, right" / "I agree". Additionally, it may be that people who say this aren't native speakers of an Asian vernacular English,…

To add to the "correct", I have noticed that a "yes" gets often chewed up by background noise or someone talking over, specially in teleconferencing. To me a "correct" gives a clearer acknowledgement. My personal tick is " sure ". A sure will nearly always prompt me to bark back a "does this mean a clear yes, or a 'sure I guess, if I have to, if there is nothing better'?" This drives me bonkers when we are talking ab…

"Sure" in that context is short for "For sure", which is short for "I agree with you wholeheartedly"

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#99

Post by mixmastamyk »

cstrahan wrote: post #19
awillen wrote: post #3

One thing that always bothers me about this is that interrupters are often seen as bad, while non-interrupters are seen as good. You hear this a lot in the context of engineering meetings - there's Tommy the interrupter who always shouts his thoughts, while Grace the quiet one has lots of intelligent things to say but never gets a chance because people are talking over her. It's always portrayed as the interrupter's…

Speaking from my experience: The problem isn’t interruption, it’s how someone interrupts. I have been in many meetings over my career where the loudest person speaks very authoritatively about something they don’t understand, resulting in the meeting becoming completely derailed: invariants and laws are needlessly questioned, and important design parameters are overlooked. An example taken from real world experience:…

Just reading this stressed me out.

Re: The Church of Interruption (2018)

#100

Post by rollinDyno »

Cthulhu_ wrote: post #95
rollinDyno wrote: post #7

I have a friend who is a Barker, who I am always annoyed at because I am a Meek type and I more often than not cannot finish making my points to her. I do not feel that she listens to me. Why do I still like her? This article, to me, pairs very well with the other top post on HN right now [1]. Thanks to that article I learned that we feel more connected towards someone the quicker they reply to us [2]. There's no con…

It's an issue with a lot of people who therefore feel unwelcome - mainly thinking of the software development industry here, and of gender differences. It's like if you're not blustery and assertive, you won't get a foot in the door in these discussions and your views on a matter will be unheard. I think group conversations at work should have a moderator. Use a talking stick if needs be.

This is interesting, this friend of mine has had issues within our organization and has told me there is people who want to remover her.
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