Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

news.mit.edu

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 192 posts

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#121

Post by mgkimsal »

exolymph wrote: post #120
thegrimmest wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Acceptance is basically the one and only key to happiness - it's simple to say and hard to practice. But by practicing it even the most miserably ill and destitute people can be happy. It's also not a particularly new idea, going back at least as far as Buddhism. It's also why I'm not inclined to agree with things like perceived inequality as being the root of all misery.

This is also a huge theme of the Bible — possibly all religions?

Is it? Acceptance for acceptance's sake, I don't get that from the Bible (or most major religious texts?). The 'accept things' is asterisked with a 'because $deity', which just opens up many more cans of worms.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#122

Post by sgt101 »

colinmhayes wrote: post #70
tw600040 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The devil's in the details. 2m doesn't convey much. 2m in what? 401k? Then it's inaccessible until 60. If not, then all earnings are going to be taxed and need to account for that. And is that 2m including primary residence or excluding primary residence? Also need to bring in mortgage into consideration..and if you do retire, given that health is tied to work in US that adds extra complexity..

capital gains tax at 15% would mean that if you sell 4% of your holdings a year your post tax income is 3.4% or $68,000. That's around $80,000 pre tax which is surely enough to live a middle class lifestyle in the right location if you can figure out the health care situation. Seems to me the questions are 1. How do you get insurance? and 2. Will the historical market conditions that allow for 4% yearly withdrawal wh…

Well, I live in the UK so the insurance thing is a luxury, not a total essential. Also while $2m is almost certainly more than enough for me to live off I won't have to - because I can still work part time if I want to.

And given it's mid life, well sadly it's only got to last me for 40 years, optimistically.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#123

Post by hondo77 »

Swizec wrote: post #54
heliodor wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's all about the culture of your location. In New York City, 35 is young and vibrant and full of life.

Yeah I'm 34 in SF, turning 35 this autumn, and feeling like I'm literally in my prime. Old enough to have matured, experienced enough to have some good battle scars, young and energetic enough that there's decades of quality life ahead of me. The mindset stability that came in the past few years has been nice. Hustling for the shiniest immediate goal in sight no longer appeals, but there's plenty of energy to go afte…

> Yeah I'm 34...and feeling like I'm literally in my prime.

You are. Most people don't realize that until they're in their 40s.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#124

Post by alecbz »

marginalia_nu wrote: post #117
alecbz wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We're inherently very social creatures. I'm sure a lot's been written on this, but I like "The Social Leap"'s telling of it: we basically evolved from our primate ancestors by being pushed out of the rainforest into the Savannah. Our normal primate defense of climbing into trees was unavailable, and the way we found to survive was working together in groups. Years of evolution have wired into our brains that we're su…

Even if this is true, what reason is there to think this is the cure for mid-life crisis?

Ah sure, that's a broader claim and I think is less obviously true.

In general, I think a lot of existential crises are caused by having some psychological need not met, and so making sure psychological needs are met seems like a reasonable approach for preventing/addressing them.

Another part of this claim that's not super obvious to me is how/why _helping_ people specifically is important, as opposed other ways you can have people in your life.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#125

Post by fleddr »

hondo77 wrote: post #123
Swizec wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah I'm 34 in SF, turning 35 this autumn, and feeling like I'm literally in my prime. Old enough to have matured, experienced enough to have some good battle scars, young and energetic enough that there's decades of quality life ahead of me. The mindset stability that came in the past few years has been nice. Hustling for the shiniest immediate goal in sight no longer appeals, but there's plenty of energy to go afte…

> Yeah I'm 34...and feeling like I'm literally in my prime. You are. Most people don't realize that until they're in their 40s.

He's not. Assuming he's male, physical peak is near 26, intellectual peak early to mid 20s. This doesn't mean you can't learn new things nor does it mean your body isn't fit anymore, it just means you're already on the way down.

It won't feel that way though, I understand.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#126

Post by fleddr »

wincy wrote: post #4
tayo42 wrote: post #3

I wonder if the "midlife" part of midlife crisis does some harm. Other then me not being in my midlife (well i hope lol, don't think i want to die at 60) a lot of those issue resonate. Shrinking of possibilities, empty feeling as i pursue things. Ive felt this way on and off since my 20s and have talked with friends about similar feelings.

At 35 I started calling myself “middle aged” and my coworkers around the same age looked at me like I was insane and then a rather uncomfortable discussion ensued about age and average lifespan in the US. Nobody in their 30s wants to think that they are in fact “middle aged” and it might be the time to have a “midlife crisis”.

It's even worse when you take into consideration quality of life. For many people their last decade may come with severe medical issues.

That's why you need to let go of this idea of some awesome 2 decades of retirement where you finally get to enjoy and do all the things you want.

You'll be broken, half your friends are dead or dying, the kids won't visit, and you have no energy.

I'm being intentionally brutal to make it as clear as I can. Whatever you want to do, do it NOW. During good years.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#127

Post by a9h74j »

TuringTest wrote: post #47
heliodor wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's all about the culture of your location. In New York City, 35 is young and vibrant and full of life.

I came here to say this. 'Midlife' is not about how long do you live, it's about how advanced you are in the expectations of the social life script, after 'raving youth' and 'settled elderly'.

Some cultures have four-part scripts, some three -- not all two.

I once read a book about Ulyssean aging, IIRC. It described persons such as Thor Hyerdal who in essence started new lives (full of recognized accomplishment) near age 60.

Re: Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

#128

Post by drewda »

I started reading this book in a bookstore. In the intro, I recall him mentioned how he felt a blandness of middle age starting in his late 30s -- soon after he got tenure in his faculty job at a university.

As a "recovering academic" myself, it sounded more like the very particular rat-race of "tenure track, emeritus, and die" had disappointed him more than anything about midlife in general. So, I put the book back on the shelf.

Post reply on HN