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Teaching Good Sex

nytimes.com

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Re: Teaching Good Sex

#41

Post by nickik »

tintin wrote: post #36
joshu wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

why did you link that? now i have to wash my brain out with soap.

Some soap: Everything you've seen or read about sex is false. It is an (growing) experience between the ones who have sex which can not be learned from a book or video.

I disagree. You can always better yourself in everything. Learning from books, videos and other sources works in every other field, why should it not in sex?

Its the same as with everthing else on the internet (and of the internet for that matter) you have to always think critically, even if the content is wrong you can still learn. If you listen to Fox News for example you can learn alot about what technics the media uses, because Fox uses them totally obviously.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#42

Post by achiral »

giardini wrote: post #8

They may not know how to do long division or compute an angular velocity but, by damn, American kids are going to know how to fuck properly! I am pleased my tax dollars are so well spent. "Female ejaculation" - sheez...

This comment, in combination with the above comments about resentful virgins, does much to shed light on a rather unfortunate HN demographic.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#43

Post by bazquz »

FD3SA wrote: post #26

It seems unwise to promote casual sex without fully understanding the consequences. And I don't speak of the overblown disease fears, but the far more serious effects of emotional desensitization. Sex elicits a chemical response much like cocaine or heroin, and is also prone to the build up of tolerance. Thus, casual sex with multiple partners leads to a severely diminished capacity for pair bonding and emotional ful…

I would even go far enough to suggest that sex-thoughts lead to mental retardation.

Also, child rearing is the greatest learning experience on earth.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#44

Post by JadeNB »

FD3SA wrote: post #26

It seems unwise to promote casual sex without fully understanding the consequences. And I don't speak of the overblown disease fears, but the far more serious effects of emotional desensitization. Sex elicits a chemical response much like cocaine or heroin, and is also prone to the build up of tolerance. Thus, casual sex with multiple partners leads to a severely diminished capacity for pair bonding and emotional ful…

> celibacy till marriage

This is like practicing hunger until eating; there's no alternative. As Carlin memorably puts it, the ‘no-nookie clause’, which is what I think you meant, is called chastity. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chastity / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstinence

Aside from the linguistic nitpicking, anyone who cites all the world's agreement on matters of sex and morality related to marriage hasn't studied any history, or, for that matter, the actual state of the present-day world.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#45

Post by JonnieCache »

giardini wrote: post #8

They may not know how to do long division or compute an angular velocity but, by damn, American kids are going to know how to fuck properly! I am pleased my tax dollars are so well spent. "Female ejaculation" - sheez...

I'm sure in an advanced society such as this we can afford teach our children about both angular velocity and female ejaculation.

Thinking about it, I reckon you could teach them both in the same class. That'd be one hell of a word problem...

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#46

Post by yusefnapora »

sheepshankl wrote: post #25
madcaptenor wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went to the school that the article talks about. It's a private school. It's not anybody's tax dollars. (And we did know how to do math.)

Yes. I was struck by the definition given to the school by the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FCS&defid... BTW is that the past tense of the verb "know" as in "we _did_ know how to do math until we f *ed our brains out!" Sorry, I'm just jealous because I have never met a girl who went to Friends Central School. Had I done so possibly she could have demonstrated the marvels of "female…

You and the poster you're replying to both seem to need to put female ejaculation in quotes, presumably to imply that it's some nonsense that either doesn't exist, or doesn't merit discussing. The fact that so many people reach adulthood without knowledge of even the existence of this basic biological function indicates to me the need for more education of this type. But you seem happy with your slut-shaming, so, carry on.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#47

Post by davidhansen »

winter_blue wrote: post #24
veidr wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's interesting. Who on earth is the hatred directed toward?

towards those getting laid.. I know it's stupid, but I think in the past part of it arose from just knowing that they were doing it, and I as a geek was not going to get it. I strongly thought in the past that because I was nerdy, I was automatically despised by girls. I know that's not completely true now, but there is a little bit of truth to it. But to reiterate, I think what gave me this feeling, was thinking tha…

I don't know how old you are, but be prepared to battle this for much of your life. At 32, I would have hoped to excise the latent misogyny and distrust of former jocks that my adolescent experiences burned into me, but it has not abated. I expect this to last a lifetime, and my only defense is to continue working on discarding cached thoughts( per the LessWrong folks )whenever they are recognized.

The real kicker is that if you have a successful startup exit, it gets much worse. My own cynicism grew enormously after witnessing the dramatic change that money brought into women's attitude toward me. The day you realize a woman is sleeping with you merely as a chore to gain access to resources - well, let's just say that's not a very good day.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#48

Post by kahawe »

firebones wrote: post #9

Good lord, I saw this headline on HN and thought it was going to be the ESR classic "Sex Tips for Geeks": http://catb.org/~esr/writings/sextips/

Oh please just remove this link... eric is negatively legendary for obscenely proposing to pretty much any and all females wherever he shows up as if he was a combination of Appollo and Pan and god's gift to women.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#49

Post by kahawe »

winter_blue wrote: post #24
veidr wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's interesting. Who on earth is the hatred directed toward?

towards those getting laid.. I know it's stupid, but I think in the past part of it arose from just knowing that they were doing it, and I as a geek was not going to get it. I strongly thought in the past that because I was nerdy, I was automatically despised by girls. I know that's not completely true now, but there is a little bit of truth to it. But to reiterate, I think what gave me this feeling, was thinking tha…

Honestly, consider taking (behavior) therapy if any of this toxic shame is left inside of you now! Work through this.

Oh and, chances are you are a hacker with a good amount of money at your disposal. Nothing wrong with making up for lost experiences in the here and now. If you feel you missed out, there are gorgeous escorts way more lovely than those dumb girls in high school you lusted after and it might just help you polish your confidence a bit. It is up to you if you want to go down that road and try it but hey, more power to you if you do and come to realize that while sex is great, it isn't THAT important once you start having it.

Finding a loving and honest, trustworthy partner will be so much more rewarding.

Re: Teaching Good Sex

#50

Post by kahawe »

davidhansen wrote: post #47
winter_blue wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

towards those getting laid.. I know it's stupid, but I think in the past part of it arose from just knowing that they were doing it, and I as a geek was not going to get it. I strongly thought in the past that because I was nerdy, I was automatically despised by girls. I know that's not completely true now, but there is a little bit of truth to it. But to reiterate, I think what gave me this feeling, was thinking tha…

I don't know how old you are, but be prepared to battle this for much of your life. At 32, I would have hoped to excise the latent misogyny and distrust of former jocks that my adolescent experiences burned into me, but it has not abated. I expect this to last a lifetime, and my only defense is to continue working on discarding cached thoughts( per the LessWrong folks )whenever they are recognized. The real kicker is…

I am sorry for what you had to go through, I can relate in a way. I will recommend the same I recommended to winter_blue: consider (behavior) therapy and work through whatever pain and/or toxic shame might be left in you from the past.

And on gold-digging women: they should be sufficiently easy to spot and just decide whether the sleeping-with-you and her presence is worth it to you or not. There are also great girls out there who are having just as much a hard time with some dumb male partner who would be happy to be with someone honest and hard working. Don't give up and more importantly, work through whatever pains you from the past.

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