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Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

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Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#21

Post by businessman0001 »

superchroma wrote: post #18
businessman0001 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Truth can be brutal. Sometimes taking it head on shows wisdom.

I'm not sure a shitfight between some angry men shouting about how women are too promiscuous, other angry men shouting about how women are too uptight and angry people shouting about how men need to improve in 12 different ways is truth or wisdom.

The problem of reading those comments is, everyone defends with their feelings, doesn't necessarily means they are angry or whatever. It's definitely not ideal for a lot of people, including myself. You can be angry at anything, doesn't mean it changes the outcome to your desired intent, infact it can be worse, in case of incels, the more angrier they get the more they get ostracized.

Sure, the most intolerant minority and the most vocal minority pushes the change. This is how the feminist movement started and that gave way to women being liberated. They focused their energies/anger into the right direction.

Promiscuity is something of a completely different topic.

The truth is women don't need men anymore. Men can be dead tomorrow collectively and women will not even notice. And this is the state of affairs we are dealing with. That's why women say they want a "high quality" man. Do what you want with that information, it's certainly not an easy thing to digest for a lot of men, because they themselves would not put themselves in the "high quality" man box.

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#22

Post by icedchai »

klyrs wrote: post #20
lampshades wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it’s a situation of, women can always find someone to hook up with because they’re a woman. A lot of men out there are truly lonely because they’re never even chosen. At least that’s what I gather from friends that are struggling with the app-centric dating landscape.

> At least that’s what I gather from friends that are struggling with the app-centric dating landscape. There's the real problem. Most of the women I know who use apps hate them, too. The incentive structure around dating apps is terrible, and from what I can tell, it's deepening the already ridiculous polarization of gender. Men and women alike reduce eachother to the worst stereotypes, and their dating preferences…

The apps really destroyed online dating. I used to meet people on OKCupid... until they made it more Tinder-like. You can't even search or browse these days.

Craigslist Personals was also fun. Until it got taken down.

The late 90's through early 2000's internet was way better for meeting people online.

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#23

Post by quequeque »

dado3212 wrote: post #14
lampshades wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it’s a situation of, women can always find someone to hook up with because they’re a woman. A lot of men out there are truly lonely because they’re never even chosen. At least that’s what I gather from friends that are struggling with the app-centric dating landscape.

Quoted post unavailable.

single rates have increased regardless of gender, but at a faster pace for men; In 1990, a woman was more likely to be single than a man, now a man is more likely to be single than a woman https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-...

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#24

Post by tsol »

stuckinhell wrote: post #13

I have an alternate take. 1/4 women are on mental health meds as well. - https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-and-prescription-drug-u... - https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-so-many-middle-aged-women-a... I think the modern world is alienating and isolating. We compare ourselves to each to other constantly and treat each other as commodities. The destruction of the family and various religions has been destructive to v…

>various religions has been destructive to vast majority of people.

The difference between the modern world and the world of yesterday is that we're the ones they aren't religious. I would argue it's the opposite-- religion limits you and forces you to be with your community. You have to meet them every week and sit with them, you are obligated to attend their weddings and funerals. The church was historically the center of life in the western world. It's the fact that that doesn't exist anymore, and there is no replacement. The church was a place the lonely could go to find friends, the odd and awkward could go to find purpose, the sick could go to find helpers. I'm not even Christian, but the role it played in yesterday's world was huge. It's because we don't bother to replace these institutions with modern equivalents that people have these problems

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#25

Post by anotherman554 »

commandlinefan wrote: post #10

Shouldn't the number of lonely, single women also be simultaneously on the rise? Or the number of women dating women? If the men aren't dating, then either the women aren't either, or they're dating each other.

The number of lonely, single women could be on the rise, but you are conflating loneliness with "lacking a romantic partner."

Loneliness was measured with the following 4 questions:

"Do you feel a lack of companionship? Do you feel left out? Do you feel isolated from others? Do you feel in tune with people around you?"

Certainly many if not all of those needs could be met without a romantic partner. So it doesn't necessarily follow that the numbers must be the same between heterosexual men and women.

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#26

Post by honkdaddy »

If I were a lonely, single man, I'd probably feel as if the author was making a bit of a cruel joke at my expense when they chose a picture of a tall, fit, and handsome white dude as their idea of what a lonely and single man probably looks like.

Spend any amount of time in the communities where lonely and single men congregate and you'll see by and large they look nothing like the guy in the photo.

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#27

Post by swagasaurus-rex »

tsol wrote: post #24
stuckinhell wrote: post #13

I have an alternate take. 1/4 women are on mental health meds as well. - https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-and-prescription-drug-u... - https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-so-many-middle-aged-women-a... I think the modern world is alienating and isolating. We compare ourselves to each to other constantly and treat each other as commodities. The destruction of the family and various religions has been destructive to v…

>various religions has been destructive to vast majority of people. The difference between the modern world and the world of yesterday is that we're the ones they aren't religious. I would argue it's the opposite-- religion limits you and forces you to be with your community. You have to meet them every week and sit with them, you are obligated to attend their weddings and funerals. The church was historically the ce…

For the motivated, these communities still exist - but without the sermon.

Volunteer groups, sports, hobby groups, hiking meetups, dance classes, or the nearest bar. YMMV

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#28

Post by moistly »

tsol wrote: post #24
stuckinhell wrote: post #13

I have an alternate take. 1/4 women are on mental health meds as well. - https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-and-prescription-drug-u... - https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-so-many-middle-aged-women-a... I think the modern world is alienating and isolating. We compare ourselves to each to other constantly and treat each other as commodities. The destruction of the family and various religions has been destructive to v…

>various religions has been destructive to vast majority of people. The difference between the modern world and the world of yesterday is that we're the ones they aren't religious. I would argue it's the opposite-- religion limits you and forces you to be with your community. You have to meet them every week and sit with them, you are obligated to attend their weddings and funerals. The church was historically the ce…

There are replacements, you just have to seek them out.

For instance, Men’s Shed, “a dedicated, friendly and welcoming meeting place where men come together and undertake a variety of mutually agreed activities.” They often perform charitable work and if you need social or emotional support, they’ll listen and help. They fulfill the roles you feel are only available from churches.

https://menshed.com/

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#29

Post by 18amxn18 »

dado3212 wrote: post #14
lampshades wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it’s a situation of, women can always find someone to hook up with because they’re a woman. A lot of men out there are truly lonely because they’re never even chosen. At least that’s what I gather from friends that are struggling with the app-centric dating landscape.

Quoted post unavailable.

No post body was provided.

Re: Number of 'lonely, single' men is on the rise, says psychologist

#30

Post by swagasaurus-rex »

stuckinhell wrote: post #7
djohnston wrote: post #4

Is this particularly a western problem?

I don't think so, you hear the same thing happening in Asia as well.

It makes me think it's a socioeconomic issue.

or, from a different perspective, we're experiencing a population cap, as experienced through cost of living increases. Starting a family is a luxury not everybody can afford.

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