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The book cited above is to help with 1. and 2. in your list.
YouTube video: Edward de Bono 'How to have a beautiful mind' at Mind & Its Potential, 2011 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbsKQQGwsMg
The video above features Dr. Edward de Bono talking about the thinking processes and creativity.
Toastmasters - helped me speak clearer, and with constructive, honest feedback.
I write down the points I want to make so I do not wonder aimlessly in my stories.
I repeat my (succinct) point(s) I want to convey before I go down the details, then repeat it again at the end.
When asked, I write the questions down so I do not wonder aimlessly in my stories.
I repeat questions asked before I go down the details, then repeat it again at the end, asking if I answered it.
I ask a lot of questions as it provides me reference points I can verbalize to the listeners.
if I have not had time to prepare for a conversation, it is not unusual for me to close my eyes and speak with eyes closed. This helps me to reduce distraction, and turn inward. I do this only with known people so they are not surprised. They know that I am ruminating to on the words, stringing them together. Works well in phone/conference calls with no video.
I used to take the Chicago Metra and ride in the vestibule to exit the train quickly. The same 8 people would always be there every day but this gentleman, "Gary", would always carry the conversations. People were just drawn to him and I was in awe of how he captivated us with his stories. I was able to study him for a couple of years and came up with a list of how he was able to hold our attention: 1) Gary spoke lou…
I used to take the Chicago Metra and ride in the vestibule to exit the train quickly. The same 8 people would always be there every day but this gentleman, "Gary", would always carry the conversations. People were just drawn to him and I was in awe of how he captivated us with his stories. I was able to study him for a couple of years and came up with a list of how he was able to hold our attention: 1) Gary spoke lou…
Here's a blog I wrote about this awhile back:
I used to take the Chicago Metra and ride in the vestibule to exit the train quickly. The same 8 people would always be there every day but this gentleman, "Gary", would always carry the conversations. People were just drawn to him and I was in awe of how he captivated us with his stories. I was able to study him for a couple of years and came up with a list of how he was able to hold our attention: 1) Gary spoke lou…
Once of my speaking tricks, which your evaluation of Gary touched upon, is "maximize variability." Vary your emotions (excited, worried), your tempo (fast, slow), your pauses (no pauses, long pauses), your eye contact, your gestures, etc. Of course it is not exact but I've found it to be a good heuristic. We are captivated by variability (things which change).
- record yourself talking. Do a mock ‘podcast’ with a friend or whatever. Watch it back. Edit out the embarrassing parts. Rinse, repeat.
I do not know what would work for you, but the following worked for me. Toastmasters - helped me speak clearer, and with constructive, honest feedback. I write down the points I want to make so I do not wonder aimlessly in my stories. I repeat my (succinct) point(s) I want to convey before I go down the details, then repeat it again at the end. When asked, I write the questions down so I do not wonder aimlessly in my…
Try taking a public speaking class at a nearby university. I'm going to go on a limb here and guess that you are thinking too fast. In everyday life, try to slow down your speech and get in the habit of listening to yourself. It will help you be more deliberate with words and get into the habit of course correcting. People have a tendency to talk lot faster than they think. Great speakers know how to control this jus…
I think speed variance is a good tool to have but I wouldn't purposely try to talk slower.
For example John Carmack is someone who I really enjoy listening to talk about any topic. It's like a pure uninterrupted stream of thought without filler words, often times for hours. Lots of folks say he talks too fast but I think his pacing is perfect, it's very engaging.
On the flip side, I'll get disengaged pretty quickly if someone is talking slow or uses a lot of words that feel like they've spoken 7 words to say 3 words of information. I think slowing down to focus on certain phrases is good in moderation but I don't think you should purposely try to turn a 10 minute conversation into a 15 minute conversation.
I haven't started yet, but the syllabus for each course seemed interesting and covers off on the thinking part. You can take the classes for free if you audit them though the website throws the payment option at you.