How to stop being “terminally online” • Hacker News Board

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#151

Post by celtain » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 4:42 PM UTC

zach_garwood wrote: post #128

djangelic wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In one of the call of duty games, you attend a funeral and when you reach the casket, an onscreen prompt asks you to press F to pay your respects. This took on a life of its own, and now on Reddit threads you’ll see people saying press f to pay respects when someone was figuratively killed.

Wow, okay, and they claimed it's not an obscure reference, but you have to have played a certain level in a certain game AND been on a certain forum to know what it means? Maybe obscure doesn't mean what I think it means.

"Break the ice" was coined by Shakespeare, but the vast majority of people who use the phrase probably didn't read that play.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who have used the "press F" meme without knowing the original context too.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#152

Post by BbzzbB » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 4:52 PM UTC

rco8786 wrote: post #39

A lot of good questions to ask yourself here. But, > have you ever used/applied "internet slang" (cringe, based, cuck, chad) in/to real-life situations? I take slight issue with this one. To me, there is no difference between “internet slang” and just “slang”. The internet is ubiquitous and the language we use online and offline is largely the same now. Didn’t always be this way. I still remember the first time I hea…

I live in a French speaking place and I wager vast majority knows these terms (am millennial) and a lot even use them here and there, in their English forms. Tho of course not all and there are "deeper" slangs that are more for people online enough to share some web culture.

IMO, Internet slang is accurate as it transcends geography while there is some locality to slangs and vernacular.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#153

Post by mlac » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 4:58 PM UTC

nonrandomstring wrote: post #33

Health and online activity are inextricably linked at this point. Mental health. Cardiovascular health. Health of interpersonal relationships. Work life balance. I sincerely think we are at an equivalent situation as the tobacco industry in the 1970s. The decisions we make now will affect the lives of generations to come. Cal Newport's site has a Ledger of Harms [1] at the Center for Humane Technology, and I wrote wh…

I got part way through Digital Vegan, but admittedly haven’t finished it yet.

It’s been a few weeks since I had to put it down for another book, but here is my main takeaway (so far) - it’s all true, but in my opinion it comes across with very strong views and some extreme options as something to hand non-technical friends. It’s also relatively expensive to obtain in the US.

But thank you for your contribution to the discussion on this topic. I think you’re probably closer to where we should end up, but I don’t see a path to get there.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#154

Post by thenerdhead » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 4:59 PM UTC

SoftTalker wrote: post #136

lostNFound wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At 21 I’ve only recently started asking myself those questions, after having been “pushed” into a coding career due to some strange life circumstances, when I was actually interested in finance and medicine before. When I got promoted to Sr, colleagues going “wow, only 21”, it felt good, and I never even stopped to ask myself if I really wanted it. In a lot of senses, introspection and thinking hurts; growing hurts,…

> I’ll take an uneducated guess that a big chunk of cases of anxiety and depression are not caused by chemical imbalances, and are simply people’s brains telling them “you’re doing something wrong, correct course! I've seen people educated in the field saying the same thing. Depression is nature's way to prod you to make a change in your life. Something isn't working. So you're probably not wrong, at least for some f…

This is what I believe. I wrote a book about it. A year of depression suddenly went away when I started to embrace my purpose further.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#155

Post by thenerdhead » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:05 PM UTC

lostNFound wrote: post #115

thenerdhead wrote: post #64

These are great questions. The process of introspection can lead to many new discoveries beyond internet addiction. Why are you the way you are? Why are you in the career you chose? Why are you living the life you live today? Not that you should overly become self-aware, but when you are aware of something you are or do without knowing previously, you can change your life in a positive way. Some of my favorite reads…

At 21 I’ve only recently started asking myself those questions, after having been “pushed” into a coding career due to some strange life circumstances, when I was actually interested in finance and medicine before. When I got promoted to Sr, colleagues going “wow, only 21”, it felt good, and I never even stopped to ask myself if I really wanted it. In a lot of senses, introspection and thinking hurts; growing hurts,…

You're a very self-aware individual.

I think there are many lessons in stoicism, taoism, and buddhism that have helped me understand these concepts on an individual level. Here's an excerpt from a book I'm writing about this topic:

- Through Stoicism I found a sense of moderation, seeing the world for what it is and what it is not, and focusing on what I can control and having contempt for that which I cannot.

- Through Taoism I had learned to let softness overcome the hard, appreciate my uselessness, and to flow along when appropriate.

- Through Buddhism I had learned that my attachment would lead to suffering, appreciating the present moment, and how a trained mind leads to true happiness.

I believe that pain doesn't leave the body until it's done teaching you. I know it's not the most sensitive thing to say, but after a complete year of crippling depression, I felt it lift once I understood what it was trying to teach me.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#156

Post by suby » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:11 PM UTC

SoftTalker wrote: post #126

bootlooped wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you went to some public place with a fairly representative sample of the population, like a supermarket or something, and asked 100 people about that phrase, how many do you think would know provenance of it?

Never heard it before. After a couple of seconds of pondering, I assumed it meant "females" but I can see from other replies that is wrong.

It's from a Call of Duty video game. The game had a scene where you were at a characters funeral, and a prompt came up saying "Press F to Pay Respects". This was widely criticized and mocked by players, and it spread from there to be used to either legitimately convey respect or to sarcastically mock something.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#157

Post by BbzzbB » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:13 PM UTC

Feritioyyyyy wrote: post #52

Aromasin wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm struggling with this currently. My partner spends 3+ hours a day scrolling Instagram (I know, I checked it in her Apple phone metrics). When we watch movies, it's me watching it and her scrolling. When we're in the car listening to music, it's just me listening to music and her scrolling. I'm starting to struggle initiating conversations because she's simply not paying attention. Whenever we're out, half her time…

Have you ever thought of making Instagram 'sliw' sometimes? Might be unethical or it might help her to get away from it? Perhaps talk to a therapist about how to approach it?

sliw?

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#158

Post by cyberbanjo » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:14 PM UTC

blfr wrote: post #29

swiftcoder wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Same with HN. Conversations like these are rarely happening offline. May I suggest that you might be looking in the wrong places offline? HN-style discussions are a staple of lunchtime banter at any number of tech firms. Likewise you can find similar discussions at any number of universities, or on the tech conference circuit. Not to mention your local nerd-leaning special-interest communities (be it tabletop, D&D,…

The lunchtime banter at my (tech) company is mostly silence since few people come to the office.

Have you tried an amateur radio meetup?

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#159

Post by iasay » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:17 PM UTC

oblak wrote: post #139

Aromasin wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm struggling with this currently. My partner spends 3+ hours a day scrolling Instagram (I know, I checked it in her Apple phone metrics). When we watch movies, it's me watching it and her scrolling. When we're in the car listening to music, it's just me listening to music and her scrolling. I'm starting to struggle initiating conversations because she's simply not paying attention. Whenever we're out, half her time…

Sounds horrible. How did you even start dating a person like that? She must be really something special but I just can't wrap my head around it because in my experience only exceptionally dull and dumb people are like that. That said, I am a happily married old fart so it's only natural to not get some aspects of modern life.

People didn't always start like that...

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#160

Post by softfalcon » Sun, Aug 07, 2022, 5:18 PM UTC

Aromasin wrote: post #48

iasay wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My ex wife is an ex wife because she zoned out into Facebook constantly and stopped doing anything with the family. Then she went bananas and ran away with someone who ironically she split up with because he was always on Facebook. It can go pretty bad. I’m super happy though as the kids stayed with me :)

I'm struggling with this currently. My partner spends 3+ hours a day scrolling Instagram (I know, I checked it in her Apple phone metrics). When we watch movies, it's me watching it and her scrolling. When we're in the car listening to music, it's just me listening to music and her scrolling. I'm starting to struggle initiating conversations because she's simply not paying attention. Whenever we're out, half her time…

I have a similar issue with my wife. The reason you can’t initiate the first step is because they are in denial that it’s a problematic addiction. Everything is telling them that social media is “sort of okay” even though the studies abound proving it’s a nefarious addiction.

It’s easier with hard drugs cause society, government, and even business mostly agrees it’s likely bad for you (except alcohol, that one still gets a free pass).

For me, I still try to remind her to be in the moment. She’ll ask to watch a show or movie and within 5 minutes her brain has pulled up her phone to read Reddit. I pause the show and then I’ll ask, “do you want to stop watching?”

She’ll reluctantly put her phone away (sometimes I have to wait a whole minute for her to actually put it down) and then I’ll resume the show on the TV.

The addiction is very very real and their diminishing attention span shows in their behaviour in other ways as well.