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How to stop being “terminally online”

nights.bearblog.dev

41–50 of 238 posts

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#42
I have struggled with Internet addiction, and still do, for a long time, and so far the only thing that has helped to dramatically reduce usage time was the Firefox/Chrome extension News Feed Eradicator [1]. I didn't realize to what degree news feeds were attention black holes until I installed it. I still go often on social media, but thanks to this extension these visits now last a few seconds, to check messages and some specific people I check regularly. I highly recommend it.

[1] https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/news-feed-era...

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#43
post #39

A lot of good questions to ask yourself here. But, > have you ever used/applied "internet slang" (cringe, based, cuck, chad) in/to real-life situations? I take slight issue with this one. To me, there is no difference between “internet slang” and just “slang”. The internet is ubiquitous and the language we use online and offline is largely the same now. Didn’t always be this way. I still remember the first time I hea…

There are actually a huge chunk of the population that just isn't very online, and genuinely don't know these terms. (Even many young people.) It was a real eye opener to meet some 'terminally offline' people and realize you can actually just escape and things are fine without being here constantly.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#44

Recently I was arrested and had all my electronics seized by the police. The whole experience was a wake-up call, not just in terms of being arrested but being without a computer or any way to get online for a couple of weeks. It really made me realize how 'addicted' I was to the internet, and going cold turkey was horrible, time slowed down and I was sure I was missing out on everything. But I read so much more and…

That actually sounds like heaven :)

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#45
post #24

It's a good guide but it only addresses fairly vacuous and not that great online activities. My Twitter feed is a collection of funniest, most deranged takes on any subject. People IRL have no chance to compete, no one can outdo the best two seconds of 800 people. Same with HN. Conversations like these are rarely happening offline. And then there are communities I sunk into. Private forums I have been a member of for…

If you like that, then can I interest you in some crack, it's amazing compared to sobriety. Whenever I have to engage with people, all I am ever thinking is, "this is rubbish, I have some crack in my pocket, what am I doing here?" How can people be expected to compare with crack? It's ridiculous :)

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#46
Who really cares - 100 years ago you might as well have moaned about people living through books. We have to live and learn 2nd hand because:

* Learning some things 1st hand has a high chance of being fatal

* We cannot afford to live all possible lives but we do have to be able to understand each other and each other's motives to be able to get along - this means we have to imagine what it's like to be someone else.

The internet is just the latest way to communicate and learn things from/about other people.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#48
post #25
post #2

One thing I've noticed about 'terminal online' is that people vastly underestimate how much it affects them. Myself included. It seems if I ever call out a loved one, whether my brother or wife or friend, for being on their phone too much, they immediately get defensive and argue they were just doing some one task. Even if this was initiated after them being zoned out for an hour or longer. And I've done the same whe…

My ex wife is an ex wife because she zoned out into Facebook constantly and stopped doing anything with the family. Then she went bananas and ran away with someone who ironically she split up with because he was always on Facebook. It can go pretty bad. I’m super happy though as the kids stayed with me :)

I'm struggling with this currently. My partner spends 3+ hours a day scrolling Instagram (I know, I checked it in her Apple phone metrics).

When we watch movies, it's me watching it and her scrolling. When we're in the car listening to music, it's just me listening to music and her scrolling. I'm starting to struggle initiating conversations because she's simply not paying attention. Whenever we're out, half her time is spent through the lense of her phone so she can take photos for her story.

She refuses to admit its a problem, disregards any argument I put forward about how it's disrupting her life, and when I really sit down with her and tell her how it makes me feels, she attacks me about the time I spend at my laptop (which I track meticulously and know its at most an hour outside of work, so she is simply using it as a defense).

I've dated girls with drug addictions before, and it was easier than this because they at least admitted it was a problem. I feel like I can't even initiate the first step with her. It's crushing, because besides this issue, she's pretty much perfect.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#49
post #7

I am listening to the audiobook "Stolen Focus" and it has some good points on internet addiction. Most importantly, it's useless to blame yourselves completely for the addictive behaviours. The tech industry is spending billions on experts to get you hooked. In a way, tech industry is like Purdue pharma. But the responsibility is still individual's.

The way I like to think about it is that lots of people or places might be responsible: society, big industry, governments failure to regulate, so on and so forth. Those are interesting academic, or political discussions if we're talking about collective political actions that we might take.

On the other hand, understanding that you are addicted, and why, are the first steps towards individuals feeling empowered to quit. Which, in many, if not almost all, cases - they absolutely are able to do. And it certainly improves their odds if they have a network of supportive friends, family, and the like.

For someone who isn't an addict, taking a non judgemental and understanding approach to get the addict to ask him or herself those questions or set themselves on the path to recovery may be a way to meaningfully help them. But it can only really work if they're already open and receptive to that. And that depends, to a great extent, on what your relationship is with them and how much they trust you.

Re: How to stop being “terminally online”

#50

it's simply more desirable than the alternative. being stuck with your thoughts, past regrets and future worries.

Yes, I think this is the least understood point about addictions. They kind of work. I mean, people do those behaviours because they are getting something out of it.
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