On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class • Hacker News Board

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#21

Post by RealityVoid » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:00 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #12

commandlinefan wrote: post #8

> Food is huge here I thought about that recently when I went to the grocery store - when I was fresh out of college, making ~$30k/year, I remember always going to the grocery store and keeping a running total in my head of how much I was spending so I didn't go over $70, since I knew my debit card would be declined if I did. Now I don't even pay attention to how much individual items cost - I just grab what I need.

I dunno. Even when I was making minimum wage, groceries never seemed like a significant part of my budget. I never understood people trying to save 10c to get, like, the cheapest mustard possible. Compared to the big expenses (rent) food was really a small percentage of a budget, especially if you avoid stocking up on meat or alcohol. I remember being much more frustrated by friends trying to drag me out to eat at re…

On a really tight budget, the kind of food makes a difference. I used to be living on about 150 USD food budget a month in college (non-us). You can bet I used to eat _a lot_ of rice.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#22

Post by draw_down » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:30 PM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #6

draw_down wrote: post #2

> Middle-class-or-better people don’t like to talk about money... You realize you are talking to people who have a problem you can’t solve for them. This extends to not wanting to discuss salary with coworkers, by the way. The common conception is the bosses want to hold us down so they tell us not to talk about it. But I’ve been in multiple situations where I didn’t want to. I knew I was making more, and it wasn’t b…

>I knew I was making more >But in either case there’s really no upside to disclosing. There certainly is upside to discussing for anyone earning less than median. But as you write, as long as everyone thinks they are earning more than the median, individually they have no upside. Obviously, everyone cannot be earning more than median, but more importantly, price transparency shows the movement of supply and demand cu…

No post body was provided.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#23

Post by TheFlyingFish » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:31 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #12

commandlinefan wrote: post #8

> Food is huge here I thought about that recently when I went to the grocery store - when I was fresh out of college, making ~$30k/year, I remember always going to the grocery store and keeping a running total in my head of how much I was spending so I didn't go over $70, since I knew my debit card would be declined if I did. Now I don't even pay attention to how much individual items cost - I just grab what I need.

I dunno. Even when I was making minimum wage, groceries never seemed like a significant part of my budget. I never understood people trying to save 10c to get, like, the cheapest mustard possible. Compared to the big expenses (rent) food was really a small percentage of a budget, especially if you avoid stocking up on meat or alcohol. I remember being much more frustrated by friends trying to drag me out to eat at re…

Living on your own vs. having a family (even just a spouse) makes a huge difference here. Feeding just-yourself vs. feeding yourself-plus-others can make the difference between "Groceries are at the bottom of my expense list" and "groceries are my second-biggest monthly expense".

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#24

Post by azmodeus » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:36 PM UTC

RealityVoid wrote: post #21

legitster wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno. Even when I was making minimum wage, groceries never seemed like a significant part of my budget. I never understood people trying to save 10c to get, like, the cheapest mustard possible. Compared to the big expenses (rent) food was really a small percentage of a budget, especially if you avoid stocking up on meat or alcohol. I remember being much more frustrated by friends trying to drag me out to eat at re…

On a really tight budget, the kind of food makes a difference. I used to be living on about 150 USD food budget a month in college (non-us). You can bet I used to eat _a lot_ of rice.

I remember as a student money was tight towards the end of the year and had a budget of about 1.20 USD per meal for 2 month

It was not easy I rarely ate meat and only cheap meat at that. I still felt lucky as it was a temporary thing.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#25

Post by diob » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:37 PM UTC

stuckinhell wrote: post #3

This is something I really struggle with. I'm now middle class, but the horror of growing up poor still sticks with me. I have severe nightmares about being poor again, I just can't go back. I tend to overwork, and hoard thing at times. The most difficult thing these days, is my kids. I'm extremely happy that they don't know how bad things can be, but I get extremely worried by that too. I get worried, that they don'…

All I can say is to treat them well and set them up for success.

I've noticed folks sometimes fall into the trap of trying to give their kids nothing to teach them lessons. Early help in life has compounding effects.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#26

Post by diob » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:40 PM UTC

draw_down wrote: post #2

> Middle-class-or-better people don’t like to talk about money... You realize you are talking to people who have a problem you can’t solve for them. This extends to not wanting to discuss salary with coworkers, by the way. The common conception is the bosses want to hold us down so they tell us not to talk about it. But I’ve been in multiple situations where I didn’t want to. I knew I was making more, and it wasn’t b…

I disagree that there isn't an upside.

In general, there would be more upward pressure on wages if information asymmetry went away. It's especially insidious for folks in the lower class, since they don't realize the extent to which they are being underpaid.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#27

Post by lscdlscd » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:46 PM UTC

commandlinefan wrote: post #15

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

I couldn't help but do the same thing when I was reading the article, in the opposite direction: "wait - you had a wife and you were poor?" When I was young and my income was low or nonexistent, it seemed like women could smell the poverty on me and I couldn't even get close to them. It was like trying to sneak up on a grazing gazelle - they'd hear me coming and just sprint to a safe distance. The more money I made,…

That's a very sad way to view the world and people.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#28

Post by draw_down » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:48 PM UTC

diob wrote: post #26

draw_down wrote: post #2

> Middle-class-or-better people don’t like to talk about money... You realize you are talking to people who have a problem you can’t solve for them. This extends to not wanting to discuss salary with coworkers, by the way. The common conception is the bosses want to hold us down so they tell us not to talk about it. But I’ve been in multiple situations where I didn’t want to. I knew I was making more, and it wasn’t b…

I disagree that there isn't an upside. In general, there would be more upward pressure on wages if information asymmetry went away. It's especially insidious for folks in the lower class, since they don't realize the extent to which they are being underpaid.

No post body was provided.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#29

Post by em-bee » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:56 PM UTC

stuckinhell wrote: post #3

This is something I really struggle with. I'm now middle class, but the horror of growing up poor still sticks with me. I have severe nightmares about being poor again, I just can't go back. I tend to overwork, and hoard thing at times. The most difficult thing these days, is my kids. I'm extremely happy that they don't know how bad things can be, but I get extremely worried by that too. I get worried, that they don'…

this shows how big a difference a good social net makes.

i grew up poor, with a single parent, on social welfare (because the parent could not work since they had to stay home to take care of us kids until we were older)

in germany.

social welfare paid our rent and gave us enough money that we could afford everything we needed. (we didn't need a car, and we didn't have a tv, but that was by choice. they would probably have paid the tv, had we wanted one). i never felt any struggle. when i moved out from home, i never needed money from my parents either. always paid my own way. i was never rich. i just learned to live frugal. and i am not at all scared of being poor again, because i know that there is a social net that i have access to if i need it.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#30

Post by danrocks » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 5:56 PM UTC

I have been poor in a poor country and now I’m not. I make mid-high six figures and just bought a house. I have five years of expenses saved up and could extend it to ten with the right moves. Still, sleeping at night is hard, imagining that everything could collapse at any moment - I don’t know how I would explain to my kid that “we don’t have money anymore”. This feeling permeates every interaction I have at work - will I fuck up this email to the VP, then get fired, then become poor again? Makes for a very unhealthy relationship with work. Sometimes I wish I won the lottery - not to buy boats and cars and houses, but simply to stop being worried every damn minute of my life.