Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21 • Hacker News Board

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#141

Post by billpatrianakos » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 1:49 AM UTC

dchuk wrote: post #127

chunkyslink wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Its a nice thought, but people in this position often don't want help. My best Friend was doing a PHD in a Biochemistry related field at University College London back in 2003. He was an outgoing person, had a hot girlfriend a…

Unfortunately, an outgoing personality is a great way to protect yourself from people asking you the very painful question of "what's wrong"...I know now, after wrestling with depression for years, that sometimes it's harder to face your depression and explain your pain to others than it is to simply be depressed in the first place. What better way to defend yourself than by acting exactly opposite of how you really…

I'm sorry man, but that sounds awful. I'm a depression alumni with you. I did it all for a good 7 years - hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, then medication, then "fuck medication, I'm fine!" and "fuck medication! It doesn't work!", then heavy drug use and addiction, and counseling throughout.

The feeling can be beyond words and the energy needed to talk about it seems beyond us but I've gone the pretend route where you put on a brave face and act like a different person and it's just not healthy. It leads to you being even more depressed and no one having a clue which is so dangerous. I don't have the answers to getting over it (which I have done, personally) but I do know that acting like a different person isn't a good way to go. I hope you're better these days, feel free to get in touch if not. I'd be happy to talk about whatever.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#142

Post by protomyth » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 1:56 AM UTC

rdtsc wrote: post #43

DanBC wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The more awareness of suicide Suicide has a strong triggering effect; see "Werther effect". Talking about suicide has to be done carefully to avoid triggering further suicidal behaviour; especially after someone has just completed suicide. I'd agree that more awareness of suicide prevention is very important.

Thank you for mentioning that. It is very paradoxical and quite an unfortunate phenomenon. And I think it is very real. I have a sample of one (a local high school) that suffered what seemed like a large cluster of suicides within a short time range. Then found out about Werther effect. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werther_effect I am not for censoring information but maybe an admonition to refocus on checking up on…

During my sophomore year of high school, there was a string (about once every other week) of suicides. They were all linked in some way, a nasty chain of relationships. I think some of the early talk might have kept the chain going. The high school finally sent for proper grief counselors from the local university. It had been 3 or 4 months of gloom. I am not sure if they helped or it was just an ending, but they did stop (could have been the ending of winter thinking about it).

The truly sad part (beyond the ending of so many young lives) was the utter cynicism the rest of us got to. The grief counselor who was dealing with our class was utterly horrified by us wondering how anyone commits suicide by using a door knob and how we concluded that someone was using the suicides to hide a murder. Looking back, I suppose it was a coping mechanism.

Take care of your fellows and don't fool around non-professionals.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#143

Post by billpatrianakos » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 1:56 AM UTC

Nessuss wrote: post #138

I hope he had a cryonics contract. .... In reading the above, some people might think it insensitive to 'peddle' this here, and I almost censored myself because of that. But that's not helpful at all. People are dying unnecessarily because they don't understand physics, cognitive neuroscience, and the possibilities the future allows. May he live again conditional on him being cryo-preserved. Otherwise, it is sad news…

You should've censored yourself anyway. That is insensitive. What if it was your mother and some stranger said that? Come on, that's something you talk about when a person is alive, not when people are grieving. No one wants to learn about the science or pseudoscience of cronies when in mourning. Just, come on.... Really?!

I shouldn't have responded to this. Should've let it die and get buried but that kind of upset me.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#144

Post by protomyth » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 1:57 AM UTC

rdtsc wrote: post #129

lucasjung wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I receive annual suicide awareness training at work. One of the things they train us to do is, if we suspect someone might be considering suicide, to ask point-blank: "Are you thinking about hurting yourself." Most people will answer honestly, and then you can get them help if they need it. So while discussing suicide in the abstract can trigger others to commit suicide, discussing it directly with a potentially suic…

I have also heard that if a person is all of the sudden talking about buying a gun or telling others how they would never commit suicide, out of the blue, one should be very worried about them.

The gun thing / statement thing is also an indicator that someone is being threatened. Bad either way.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#145

Post by starpilot » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:07 AM UTC

Considering loneliness is often associated with depression and suicide, it's interesting that his project was pure social networking.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#146

Post by chernevik » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:15 AM UTC

thomasgerbe wrote: post #116

robg wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not just our community. There are twice as many suicides as homicides in the U.S.[1] Yet, every nightly newscast is sure to cover the murders. How many talk about the suicides? Worse, suicide is the leading cause of death among college students [2]. It's an epidemic that no one talks about. We've already lost two freshman at MIT this year. [1] http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/01/suicide-vs-homicide-b... [2] h…

Well at least suicide is a legitimate personal choice. Murder is not.

I'm not sure anyone that depressed is entirely capable of "choice".

And this is probably not the best moment for ethical theory.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#147

Post by grannyg00se » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:16 AM UTC

chunkyslink wrote: post #115

edw519 wrote: post #89

Horrible. This news is so tragic I really can't focus on anything else now. Which is probably the way it should be. Our community stresses the importance of achievement, success, and technology so much that it's easy to forget what's really most important: each other. Sometimes it takes terrible news like this to jerk us back to that reality. I never knew Ilya, but if any of his friends of family visits this forum, p…

>> If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Its a nice thought, but people in this position often don't want help. My best Friend was doing a PHD in a Biochemistry related field at University College London back in 2003. He was an outgoing person, had a hot girlfriend a…

Where does it say that Ilya committed suicide?

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#148

Post by Pistos2 » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:42 AM UTC

newobj wrote: post #87

Holding out hope here... but this whole ball started rolling with one tweet like 14 hours ago. I haven't seen a single source confirm anything yet. Any chance the net is getting punk'd right now?

Sarah Mei, currently a member of the core dev team, posted this:

> I've lost a friend, and it's been techcrunched.

https://diasp0ra.ca/posts/3415

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#149

Post by neurotech1 » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:45 AM UTC

fragsworth wrote: post #18

parfe wrote: post #9

What purpose do stories like this serve? People consider asking for details to be rude. Other than tabloid style storytelling drama, why else should strangers care? This man died young, but so did the local 19 year old young woman killed just after midnight by a driver just after she rescued an injured dog from the road. You can already see someone saying the cause of death does not matter, but why does this death an…

Most of us know about Diaspora, and some want it to succeed . That is reason enough to care about the lives of the project founders, regardless of whether or not we know who they are. Also, who are you to say that nobody here knew him?

I knew Ilya from NoiseBridge. He was always a cool guy to hang with, and get advice from.

He will be missed.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#150

Post by chimeracoder » Mon, Nov 14, 2011, 2:47 AM UTC

grannyg00se wrote: post #147

chunkyslink wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Its a nice thought, but people in this position often don't want help. My best Friend was doing a PHD in a Biochemistry related field at University College London back in 2003. He was an outgoing person, had a hot girlfriend a…

Where does it say that Ilya committed suicide?

It doesn't. People are assuming that the lack of explanation + his young age = suicide.

It may end up being the case, but at the moment, people are just speculating.