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Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

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Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#81

Post by YmMot »

parfe wrote: post #9

What purpose do stories like this serve? People consider asking for details to be rude. Other than tabloid style storytelling drama, why else should strangers care? This man died young, but so did the local 19 year old young woman killed just after midnight by a driver just after she rescued an injured dog from the road. You can already see someone saying the cause of death does not matter, but why does this death an…

It's not a question of "importance" or "purpose", it's a question of interest or relevance.

This young man's death is just as "important" as the young woman you mention...they are both tragedies, they both will leave an indelible wound on many people's lives.

However, this is a social news site for the tech community. The young woman's death is not covered here because it's not relevant to the tech community.

This young man started (with others) a project which is followed, used, and worked on by many in the tech community...it's of interest to them that one of the initiators died just as any other major development would be. It's also safe to say that there are a few people here who either knew him personally or had had some interaction with him, so it's of interest to the community when one of it's own dies.

Any time you load Hacker News there will probably be some stories that don't interest you. However, as long as they follow the community guidelines, are relevant to hackers, etc...it's best to simply skip them.

As for your other point(s), I agree somewhat with what you seem to be saying. I don't think it's rude per se to respectfully ask if anyone happens to know the cause of death. I would find it more rude to speculate. I also agree that a bunch of strangers offering their condolences doesn't accomplish or mean much, but I can also appreciate that people are just trying to be nice to anyone who did know him who happens to be reading.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#84

Post by dq_pb »

rdtsc wrote: post #43
DanBC wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The more awareness of suicide Suicide has a strong triggering effect; see "Werther effect". Talking about suicide has to be done carefully to avoid triggering further suicidal behaviour; especially after someone has just completed suicide. I'd agree that more awareness of suicide prevention is very important.

Thank you for mentioning that. It is very paradoxical and quite an unfortunate phenomenon. And I think it is very real. I have a sample of one (a local high school) that suffered what seemed like a large cluster of suicides within a short time range. Then found out about Werther effect. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werther_effect I am not for censoring information but maybe an admonition to refocus on checking up on…

My condolences to his family and friends.

A good example of the Werther effect is the string of copycat suicides in South Korea after an actress, Lee Eun-Ju, took her own life in 2005. After her death, the suicide rate of the general population in Korea spiked with notable celebrities also taking their own lives. Here's a frightening statistic from the LA Times "In South Korea, 15,413 took their lives that year [2009], or 28.4 for every 100,000 residents."

As an individual who has overcome manic depression and dealt with suicide personally and amongst friends, it is a difficult issue to approach and conquer, especially because when caught in a downward spiral everything seems to perpetuate it and nothing seems to help. It is not enough to simply ask if a friend is doing alright or has harmful intentions but it takes a person (family or friend) who can weather the storm with them. I feel that it is almost equally difficult for the person helping because they have to be willing to listen to and be understanding of the irrational thoughts that plague a suicidal mind. From an outside perspective, the burden of the troubled is vastly greater than the burden upon a helping hand but I think the cumulative process of helping someone can be equally detrimental and taxing. I hate to make a movie reference but the movie What Dreams May Come paints a good metaphor of the risks involved with trying to pull someone out of their sorrow, although not quite as dramatic.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#85

Post by Tycho »

tptacek wrote: post #78
temphn wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very important comment. The biggest risk in doing a startup is not the financial risk per se. It's the psychological risk of knowing you really, really tried -- and still failed. That is the hard part, because everyone goes in with Dilbert/mass media notions of how easy it is to be a CEO or (just as bad) Social Network illusions of how easy it is to grow meteorically while fighting off lawsuits. The truth is that it'…

It doesn't take a special person, so much as it's simply the case that no matter who you are, your startup is likely to fail. When I was much younger and starting my first (fundably doomed) startup, one of my cofounders liked to say, "yeah, most businesses fail, but those statistics include companies trying to sell soft drinks to Eskimos and combination Chinese food/pizza restaurants". Then we'd all chuckle, knowing…

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't YC focussing on relatively high-risk ventures in the hope of hitting it big? If they picked a roster of less ambitious projects, but with the same quality of personnel, then surely the failure rate would drop.

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#88

Post by [deleted] »

felipemnoa wrote: post #58
temphn wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very important comment. The biggest risk in doing a startup is not the financial risk per se. It's the psychological risk of knowing you really, really tried -- and still failed. That is the hard part, because everyone goes in with Dilbert/mass media notions of how easy it is to be a CEO or (just as bad) Social Network illusions of how easy it is to grow meteorically while fighting off lawsuits. The truth is that it'…

>>The possibly healthier (?) way of dealing is to convince yourself that it was bad luck, or the other guy cheated I think it would be healthier to accept that failure is normal and to rather enjoy the road to Ithaca [1]. Life without challenges/failures would be too boring. [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_P._Cavafy#Ithaca

[deleted]

Re: Diaspora Co-Founder Ilya Zhitomirskiy Passes Away At 21

#89

Post by edw519 »

Horrible. This news is so tragic I really can't focus on anything else now. Which is probably the way it should be.

Our community stresses the importance of achievement, success, and technology so much that it's easy to forget what's really most important: each other. Sometimes it takes terrible news like this to jerk us back to that reality.

I never knew Ilya, but if any of his friends of family visits this forum, please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you.

I have no idea what was behind this, so just a few (possibly related) thoughts:

- Let's never forget that everything we do is for other people. They outrank all the ones and zeros. Go hug someone important to you.

- If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Nothing can be more important.

- This was the ultimate failure. I'm so sorry to hear this and hope that Ilya's family and friends somehow find peace.

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