I moved to London and fast forward a couple of years, I'm in this crappy job & full time studying. It was distance learning,so we only had to go to uni once a month. So I'm sitting in a room with 20+ students. The tutor reads some text written by a student and asks what advice would you give them. We were all sitting in a circle. One guy, in front of me says: just give up! I start laughing. He starts laughing.. we both keep amplifying each other. The entire audience look at us as we are crazy. Fast forward a few months and he offered me a job and then another once he left the company. I eventually became a CTO, because someone at some point believed in me.
Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
191–200 of 247 posts
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
While that is an absolute possibility, the statistics give that outcome a much lesser chance than fucking up the children in one way or another. Nice to hear it went for the better for you! :) So far, we manage quite well - although my children obviously know something's wrong with me and we talked about my depression symptoms (without telling them the reason), we manage to keep our kids out of our problems.
Your story is quite messed up, your partner is responsible for ruining your trust and your wellbeing. And it seems to me that this one time slip up for 6 months is something that is no accident but says something fundamental about your partner. Not sure what you could do now and you’re right about being depressed about it. But life throws you a curveball and things may end up in a totally different unexpected place a…
Everyone's story is different. What op is doing might be right for op. Or maybe not. But as the child of divorcees whose divorce massively improved my relationship with both of them I thought it might be helpful perspective.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#193I remember a conversation with a dear friend of mine. I was studying CS at the time, he was studying Philosophy. We went into a discussion over some esoteric topics, and we got stuck on a definition of a word, so I asked him "but how do we know what exactly does [the word] mean ?", to which in response he paused, looked me in the eye, and just said: It means whatever the hell we agree it means. That sentence has been…
There's a discipline of communication called, Nonviolent Communication. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TONauJGfc It talks about communication via emotions, vs thoughts. I would suggest taking a look.
This is great. So many ideas that I've had cooking in the background of my mind are crystallized and presented clearly in that video. Thank you for this.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#194In 2012 I bought a book called "Getting Out: Your Guide to Leaving America". It had a chapter on how to move to (almost) every country in the world. Nothing seemed practical, I didn't have the skills and there was a recession. But in the end there were some interviews with people who had left, and there was a throwaway line: "I got a working holiday visa for Ireland" I didn't even know working holiday visas existed!…
When it comes to working holiday visas this is one of those times non-Americans[1] actually have _more_ options than Americans. 1: Western non-Americans, more specifically, unfortunately..
US citizens can avail of WH visas for Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, and (more restrictive) South Korea and Singapore.
Though some of the new digital nomad visas coming out aren't entirely dissimilar.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#195Honestly my whole career has been a series of these. Growing up no one in my family had a professional job. Most of them didn't even work. So while I knew that in theory I could get a CS degree and have a software career, it wasn't something I really felt in my bones. Even after I got the degree I did not feel confident that one of "us" could get a job like one of "them", especially when you're raised with that worki…
> raised with that working class crab mentality Man, I thought I was the only one that described it like this, but apparently it's so common it has its own Wikipedia page[0]. The entire fucking region I lived in was too busy acting like crabs in a bucket instead of building something better for everyone. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality
Also called tall poppy syndrome
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#196Earlier quoted context omitted.
What was the thing that was trying to kill you?
A German Shepherd dog. It had been trained to attack, and while I'd never witnessed this myself, supposedly the owner trained it on smaller live creatures. Obviously this was the neighborhood house that we avoided -- the owner was even surlier than the dog -- but it was on the way from my house to the local store, and where I lived there was basically one road, so I didn't always have a choice. That road's speed limi…
That's crazy! If that happened in a movie I'd think the writers were being lazy.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#197When my daughter was three years old and diagnosed with cancer (stage 4). To say it was "life changing" would be an understatement. It fundamentally changed who I am in a way I can't really express. It changed me in many positive ways and negative ways. With regards to my life, I can distinctly draw a line between "pre-diagnosis" and "post-diagnosis". A second life changing event happened a few years after her diagno…
Sorry to hear that friend. Stay strong.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
A German Shepherd dog. It had been trained to attack, and while I'd never witnessed this myself, supposedly the owner trained it on smaller live creatures. Obviously this was the neighborhood house that we avoided -- the owner was even surlier than the dog -- but it was on the way from my house to the local store, and where I lived there was basically one road, so I didn't always have a choice. That road's speed limi…
That's crazy! If that happened in a movie I'd think the writers were being lazy.
I know just what you mean. It sounds like a dream or at least an exaggeration with deus ex machina overtones.
When it first happened and I got over the initial shock, the part that freaked me out the most was the fact that the driver didn't pull over. That lent credence to my interpretation that it was some sort of supernatural intervention -- a guardian angel who appeared and then vanished.
Over the years I've polyfilled a better explanation: the driver saw the scene unfolding and realized he/she could help, but didn't want to be bothered with (literally) cleaning up the mess. Also, assuming they were local, they probably also knew the dog's nasty owner and wisely fled the scene to avoid starting a feud.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#199Six years ago I realized I was transgender after discovering r/asktransgender and understanding that my feelings had a name. Now I have a new name, I actually feel confident and motivated and proud of myself, my relationships with other people are way more open and honest... I feel like my life did a 180 in the best way. After I started transitioning and liking my body I was also able to work through some disordered eating habits and negative self-talk. It was hard, but it feels like a fresh start.
Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?
#200Had I not played Counter Strike as a teenager, I very well wouldn't be alive now. At the very least, stuck in my home town with dependency problems like most of my graduating class It's a very long story, but through that competitive community (and tech) I made a good group of friends and learned a lot. It lead to me finding a viable career and escaping serious poverty
Haha I also have Counter Strike to thank for starting my first company in game server hosting and pays for my livelihood even until today.