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Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

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151–160 of 247 posts

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#151

Two years into marriage I was driving down the freeway and had an epiphany that my wife loved me even though she didnt show it. We went from verge of divorce to strongest marriage I know 10 years and 3 kids later.

Was that an epiphany or wishful thinking that coincidently bore fruit?

People show love in different ways. (There's a book called "The 5 Love Languages"; even if you don't buy the details of the book, the idea is likely correct.)

If your spouse shows love in a different way than the way you expect to receive love, that can be confusing. Figuring this out is a big part of making relationships work.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#152

There is me before my first psychedelic trip, and there me after, and those two are probably not the same person. I still maintain that everyone of a sound mind should do psychedelics once. There are no real negatives (only meta negatives such as from loss of coordination leading to a fall, all of which are prevented by a trip sitter), and the perspective it gives you, namely being able to experience different emotio…

What in your life or your personality changed? What have been the real effects on your life from this? Did you switch career paths, stopped being depressed, made a big move, stopped feeling ugly, etc? Or is it just that you see certain things differently? I'm really interested in this subject.

The thing is, explaining what I went through is kinda pointless as I have found out from talking to other people, because every experience is extremely personal, so there is a large chance that your experience is going to be different.

The only common theme that seems to be common is basically the ability to experience a whole new range of thoughts in regards to yourself and your life, making you aware of the intrinsic thoughts you have about yourself that you aren't normally aware you are having.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#153

Honestly my whole career has been a series of these. Growing up no one in my family had a professional job. Most of them didn't even work. So while I knew that in theory I could get a CS degree and have a software career, it wasn't something I really felt in my bones. Even after I got the degree I did not feel confident that one of "us" could get a job like one of "them", especially when you're raised with that worki…

> raised with that working class crab mentality

Man, I thought I was the only one that described it like this, but apparently it's so common it has its own Wikipedia page[0]. The entire fucking region I lived in was too busy acting like crabs in a bucket instead of building something better for everyone.

[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#154
I’ve had two dejavu moments. Both times I decided to act upon them because it just felt so damn freaky, kinda felt like I should just try it out and see what happens, yolo lol.

Both of these moments happened in new places I was visiting which I would end up moving to and prospering.

Over the weekend I had such a moment again. I guess I’m just gonna yolo and move there.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#155
post #142

Three. 1. Saw an ad in 1980 for a Radio Shack TRS-80 for $499. Suddenly understood that computers were more real than the spinning tape reels shown in movies. Started learning BASIC at the local Radio Shack while my mom was grocery shopping next door. Got offered programming jobs at least twice during those sessions (or maybe they were child predators). I've been exchanging code for money for the 40+ years since. 2.…

What was the thing that was trying to kill you?

Kind of cruel of them to leave that part out..

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#156
post #142

Three. 1. Saw an ad in 1980 for a Radio Shack TRS-80 for $499. Suddenly understood that computers were more real than the spinning tape reels shown in movies. Started learning BASIC at the local Radio Shack while my mom was grocery shopping next door. Got offered programming jobs at least twice during those sessions (or maybe they were child predators). I've been exchanging code for money for the 40+ years since. 2.…

What was the thing that was trying to kill you?

seriously

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> How exactly do you learn this? Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer to this. My learning process is somewhat chaotic and random. Reading analytic philosophy and psychology definitely gave me important insights. However, the method I've found works the best is try to imagine society as a system, and humans as processes in the system. Every human has their own will, and they decide what they will or will not do.…

If what you say is true, would that mean you view human interaction as a series of manipulation games?

In a way, yes.

However, we need to know what we mean by "manipulation" here. Manipulation, in colloquial usage, refers to the act of deceiving others, and often causing harm, in order to achieve some selfish desire.

In general, "manipulation" as "human interaction" does not require malice (malice, in my experience, leads to extremely poor manipulation tactics, as humans are not stupid, and will realize what you're doing and retaliate).

E.g. when you're encouraging a friend to call a girl he likes by telling him about all the good things that may come out of it, you're manipulating him - you're telling him things that will affect his feelings in a way that will make him do what you want, i.e. call the girl. In this particular case, this kind of manipulation is actually benevolent.

Human beings can and do influence each others' feelings using words all the time. Most of the time, that influence is subconscious, and often it is harmful. Being aware of how your words and actions influence other people - i.e. knowing how to manipulate people - is a tool, and just like any other tool, it can be used for both good and evil (of course, "good" and "evil" are always subjectively defined, but you can take any measure you want and you will always be able to use manipulation for either).

I don't like using the word "manipulation" because of the above reasons. I prefer the more Wittgenstein-ian term "wordplay", because that's all it is - just playing with words in some contexts that we're familiar with, which we know will make stuff happen.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#158
I was in an isolated exurb working hard labor at a UPS warehouse. I became an active user of an open source project and a regular on an IRC network. Over time I got to know a few of the founders, and got offered a job and relocation to San Francisco.

It feels like it was a quick inflection point, but it ultimately changed my life: am now married to my partner, the company got acquired, we had a baby, and I have some economic security.

We are now working towards building what my ancestors have been struggling for generations to achieve:

- Inner peace - Intentional abundance - Authentic community

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#159
post #147

Finally admitted to myself and others I no longer believed in the religion of my family. After that it was like a huge weight was lifted and I could more clearly rethink all my conclusions about the world and people. No more need for magical thinking, confirmation bias, or hoop jumping to justify inconsistent rules made up by centuries of grifters.

I found it difficult when my best friend came to the same conclusion as yourself as we have journeyed together for nearly 40 years. I am still a magical thinker as you put it. It helped me the day the penny dropped and I realised he had become a Humanist. He has not discovered anything new. He has chosen to believe something different. My views on religion are as robust as your not-views on religion. We all make a ch…

Not sure what you're trying to communicate here.

> He has not discovered anything new.

Perhaps something new to himself, if not new to all humanity. Those of us raised in relative isolation or with rigid interpretations of the world may find outside views difficult to truly consider objectively.

> We all make a choice.

Indeed. And what choice is more profound than the foundations of ones belief systems and world view? For me that was "does it conform to 'divine' truth?", defined mostly by illiterate shepherds and priests whose livelihood depended on convincing people. Now I chose only to believe evidence proving what can be falsified.

Re: Ask HN: Have you ever had a changed-your-life moment?

#160
I was getting a degree in physics. One day I had this conversation with a guy in a parking lot. I'd never talked to him before; I don't even remember who he was. But he asked me what I wanted to do with a physics degree.

"It would be really cool to discover the unified field theory."

"But what do you do with it?"

"Well, the first thing you do is collect your Nobel Prize."

"Yeah, fine, but what do you do with it?"

I realized that I could make some gigantic breakthrough in theoretical physics, and it wouldn't actually change anything for anyone in any practical way. It would be this great achievement, and be completely useless. It wouldn't help anyone; it wouldn't improve anyone's life.

I didn't go into theoretical physics.

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