91–100 of 247 posts
I've found that nothing lights a fire under your ass to get yourself into shape quite as much as having kids, especially as I was on the older side when I had mine.
My wife had a ~6month long affair, after ~15 years together. While we were core renovating our just bought home and despite having three kids. I found out the hard way, not because she confessed it openly. We had no money problems (due to my work), we always talked about everything. Life was somewhat stressful (due to the house renovation in addition to my full job and kids) but fine. I had developed feelings for a f…
My wife had a ~6month long affair, after ~15 years together. While we were core renovating our just bought home and despite having three kids. I found out the hard way, not because she confessed it openly. We had no money problems (due to my work), we always talked about everything. Life was somewhat stressful (due to the house renovation in addition to my full job and kids) but fine. I had developed feelings for a f…
For what it's worth, my relationship with both of my parents improved dramatically when they got divorced. I was 10.
So far, we manage quite well - although my children obviously know something's wrong with me and we talked about my depression symptoms (without telling them the reason), we manage to keep our kids out of our problems.
No more need for magical thinking, confirmation bias, or hoop jumping to justify inconsistent rules made up by centuries of grifters.
I've found that nothing lights a fire under your ass to get yourself into shape quite as much as having kids, especially as I was on the older side when I had mine.
Hmm, sleep deprivation so far has conspired into me and my wife being in the worst shape of our lives... Both of us gained 10 pounds since my son was born :(
When my kids are my age, i'll be 80. My father is still going strong so i'm trying to do everything I can to maximise QoL as I age in order to be there for my kids in future.
It's a very long story, but through that competitive community (and tech) I made a good group of friends and learned a lot.
It lead to me finding a viable career and escaping serious poverty
I had a religious experience decades ago. Stone cold sober. I only talk about it with my closest friends, because I don't want to be perceived as another nutter. But it keeps me up when I am feeling down, and holds out the promise of living a life on a proper path. My 0,02€, YMMV.
Lasted less than five seconds but it felt like 'the hand of God' passed through me - that's the best way I can describe it.
William James described a religious experience as having four qualities: - Ineffable: the experience is incapable of being described and must be directly experienced to be understood. - Noetic: the experience is understood to be a state of knowledge through which divine truths can be learned. - Transient: the experience is of limited duration. - Passivity: the subject of the experience is passive, unable to control the arrival and departure of the experience.
...and that tracks 100% with how I experienced mine.
Some of these people reached out to me and I found out.
I taught myself how to code and wrote a small tool to extract passwords from the windows registry and email them to me. I learnt how to bind it to another executable and prepared a payload with a freeware flash game.
I then used it on a common clueless contact to hack hist messenger and then I used the common contact to hack the target.
Eventually we became friends and after a couple of years of running warez communities, writing viruses and hacking PHP websites, I moved to normal programming and entrepreneurship, which eventually turned into a career.
I wonder where I would be if I didn't start coding early, due to that accident.
Not a single moment but gave me a framework, tools, and vocabulary to understand my various issues and come up with treatments/solutions.
When I was 19 until my mid 20s, I was often the youngest guy in many corporate settings, and really shining. That was me getting by on raw talent. But to move further you also have to couple that with executive function. And that’s where I started to peak and not grow more. So I was “stuck” in individual contributor roles, still succeeding on raw talent but that doesn’t scale. This helped me break out of that pretty easily and have a different outlook.
I’m in a totally different place now. (Not to mention, more often the oldest guy in the room!!)
When a kid (10+ years younger) at a rave told me --being a vegetarian at the time-- that I'm not "nice to animals" and not "doing enough" and if I cared to be consistent with my beliefs I should go vegan. Also: children, DMT, studying Buddhism and a not to be named hard-core socialist music festival near Berlin.
After 2 years of suffering, doctors told me it was unexplained, most likely due to stress and that I should avoid eating fatty meats as my cholesterol was very high (despite basically not eating food). They wanted to put me on statins.
I did the opposite and switched to a carnivore diet - and my symptoms disappeared in a week.