Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

First of all: I know this feeling really well. Get help from a professional when you have no family/friends you can talk to.

Second. You are not happy with your job. Fair enough. But that’s a common problem with young people. You don’t need to be happy with your job. You don’t need like your job. You likely not find a job which makes you happy. That’s a dream you get told every day by social media and ads which is just not true.

Third, your game: I just quit my job and tried for one year to a write just a game. I had a lot of time. My initial motivation was great. I thought to myself. I want to make a great game… But then. It all repeatet and I lost control about my life and how I want to live it. It’s like a deep hole. I’m also not depressed in the “classic” way you see on television. It’s more like you don’t see a perspective. A goal. Because every day you hear: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. FIND YOUR DREAM JOB. And think: why are all so happy with there jobs.

I accepted that your job doesn’t need to make you happy. It’s ok to just earn money. It’s ok not to have this one idea that everybody loves. That’s not how the world works.

I work now 40hours as employee, 30 hours self employed and Ifound my goal: get money. Money to invest in something you love or invest in your hobby. Save it for later to build up your own company. Or what ever.

I was finally seeing when I found my love and my child spawned in our world.

I work harder then ever and hope someday we have enough money to retire without fearing to get poor.

Of course everybody sees this differently and have different experiences.

And the last: Be honest with your self and don’t lie to yourself. And be yourself. Get sober. No drugs. ADHD is not reason to be unhappy.

The biggest, most helpful shift in perspective that ever happened to me was this: external circumstances are generally downstream from your inner life, rather than upstream. You don't feel crappy and unmotivated because of how work/productivity/side projects are going. Rather, the state of your professional life is a reflection of your psyche at this point in time.

As a result, I wouldn't overthink the details of work/side game etc. right now. You need to understand and treat the underlying psychological problem that's making it hard to function. None of us can really speculate about that, so I'd recommend finding a therapist and/or psychiatrist you feel you can trust. Start thinking about what's happening to you in terms of symptoms and feelings, rather than to do lists and motivation. This is not something you're doing because you're weak or lazy, it's something that's happening to you, either because of your early life or because of your brain. The more pressure you put on yourself to "get out of a rut" through determination or reconfiguring your professional life, the deeper the rut will get.

Good luck! I hope you get the care you need soon, and that you can feel better. Once you do, the rest of life will sort itself out with no trouble.

Only thing I would add is get a partner if you don't have one already. Life is incredibly lonely to go through alone. I've heard that you can be happy alone for long periods, but I have never seen it in practice.

You don't have to be militant about health/exercise to get real world positive effects out of it though. Many people talk about how much better they feel after a 30 min run in the morning shrug

I hate to sound like one of those podcast bros who thinks psychedelics are a quick fix for all ills. But anyway here's a thing:

I did an ayahuasca ceremony during a rut I had a few years back. I didn't see the face of God or anything. But I got a clear insight that all I really wanted to do was teach and write, and that my coding work was ideally in service of those first two goals. I definitely attribute the rut-breaking to this.

If it helps give context, I also have ADHD, and it plays a big role in my routines, productivity practices, and how I maintain my mental health. I am also religious about sleep, meditation, diet, exercise, and waking early (all of which help manage the ADHD). So, as others have pointed out, one should make sure those boxes are checked before experimenting with sources of epiphany.