Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#101

Post by EddySchauHai » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:38 PM UTC

spion wrote: post #75

EddySchauHai wrote: post #40

Exercise, drop the drugs, ensure you have some part of your identity unrelated to work. I was in a rut for years because my work was my identity and I wasn’t where I wanted to be (thank you effective altruism for the identity crisis lol). When I moved out to California I quit drinking (for a while, quit again more recently), focused on exercising, and set a goal of not seeing my whole identity as a software developer…

How did you go about achieving that identity goal?

I’ve worked remotely for years beyond the start of Covid so my personal and work life had morphed into one. The key thing here was disassociating the two with clear boundaries. Also, I tried to stop comparing myself to others I see on sites like HN and LinkedIn who have these ‘perfect’ careers and focus on improving myself only against myself (and at a slower pace, one summer I spent the entire time on Coursera as if life was some sort of sprint and knowledge was a competition, which it really isn’t). Basically I just had to chill out and get a life, ha :)

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#102

Post by bbertelsen » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:39 PM UTC

Everyone has a lot of jobs. We are parents, spouses/partners, employees, and friends. One job that people often ignore is that of self-care. It's another job and you sometimes have to treat it that way. What work do you perform with self-care? Things that feed the body and soul: Exercise, volunteering, travel, eating and sleeping well. Start thinking about how to actively take care of yourself and the rut will disappear.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#103

Post by kache_ » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:39 PM UTC

WE"RE ONLY HERE ONCE

WILL YOU PERISH LIKE A DOG?

OR WILL YOU STAND AGAINST DESTINY

AND FIGHT

NUT THE FUCK UP KID

LETS FUCKING GO

I say this with ironic humor, but also deliver a lot of truth in it. I used to have a pretty comfortable job, but I hated it and I was bored out of my mind. Existential dread every day. Find another job/endeavor that challenges you

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#104

Post by water554 » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:41 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #64

water554 wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree with half of this. Speaking from experience the weed is toxic. The (correct for you) adhd meds are crucial but make sure you can take a break for a day weekly.

trips me out the number of folks who will call something like weed toxic but then pop a 30mg adderall xr every single day for years like its no problem

I’m not a fan of adderall I find it harsh and pushy.

Stimulants seem to be the clear path to restoring balance. It is after all the most effective treatment.

Weed is toxic in a “bad habit that scrambles what little executive function we have” way. Absolute devil drug and more addictive than methamphetamine for those with adhd IMO.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#105

Post by joshuajill » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:41 PM UTC

You sound like someone who is looking for deeper meaning in life.

Not knowing what inspires you or motivates you, maybe you'd be better exploring your sense of purpose, what rewards you in the long run, what gives meaning to your life.

You are apparently too set to care about your job as a sustenance and distractions don't seem to entertain you. I would say connect with something bigger like travel Nature, people with problems bigger than yours, memento mori or whatever makes sense to you.

Looking back, in my case what helped was working with the homeless, and later as a volunteer trained in psychology with the sick and eldery. They helped me more than I helped them I feel.

But that's me you'll to figure out what's your thing.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#106

Post by jcpst » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:41 PM UTC

Going to a therapist really helped me.

I want to add a +1 to all the people mentioning exercise. It does help. It can be as simple as going on a walk.

Some days when I clock out and I’m frustrated, I hit the elliptical for 30 minutes. I feel better afterward.

Another big one is sleep. It sounds simple, but sleep deprivation can have a serious multiplier effect with ADHD. Anecdotally, I notice a huge difference in my symptoms. Drugs and alcohol before bed do not help, as your body spends time in a sedated state processing the chemicals, and less time is actual, restorative sleep.

All that said, I’m not a doctor, do some research, we hope you get to feeling better <3.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#107

Post by jsdevtom » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:42 PM UTC

Take on more responsibility. Specifically say yes to something you want to do but are scared of. Like starting a business or getting a dog.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#108

Post by JohnBooty » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:42 PM UTC

pydry wrote: post #72

gedy wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah it's interesting to me how little this gets talked about now days, but back in the 80s teenagers called it "antimotivational syndrome"[0] to describe what happens to stoners. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amotivational_syndrome

I get all of those symptoms periodically without weed or any other kind of drug to make it happen. Maybe there's a confounding variable there.

The symptoms in that linked article overlap with a lot of other conditions, for sure.

ADHD inattentive type, etc. Even low testosterone can cause a lot of those symptoms.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#109

Post by whalesalad » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:43 PM UTC

water554 wrote: post #104

whalesalad wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

trips me out the number of folks who will call something like weed toxic but then pop a 30mg adderall xr every single day for years like its no problem

I’m not a fan of adderall I find it harsh and pushy. Stimulants seem to be the clear path to restoring balance. It is after all the most effective treatment. Weed is toxic in a “bad habit that scrambles what little executive function we have” way. Absolute devil drug and more addictive than methamphetamine for those with adhd IMO.

toxic from a relationship standpoint I can totally agree

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#110

Post by bee_rider » Mon, Jul 25, 2022, 5:43 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #64

water554 wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree with half of this. Speaking from experience the weed is toxic. The (correct for you) adhd meds are crucial but make sure you can take a break for a day weekly.

trips me out the number of folks who will call something like weed toxic but then pop a 30mg adderall xr every single day for years like its no problem

I'm pretty sure the expectation is that people will have the "is this working for me" conversation with their doctor or psychologist or whatever, when it comes to prescribed medications.

Weed probably has fewer side-effects than adderall, but the person selling it doesn't have any obligation to take your well-being into account. So there's more of a reason for random internet strangers to point out the obvious.