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New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

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Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#181

Post by xwdv »

benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

That’s a unique take on it, so getting a prenup can help prevent divorce. This will be a good counter argument for when women argue that a prenup just means you’re eventually planning to get divorced.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#182

Post by ransom1538 »

pyuser583 wrote: post #82
cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

I just watched friends divorce. They brought a lot of unnecessary suffering in themselves. They didn’t want an app. The number one thing to know about divorce with kids is that you lose control. They couldn’t stand that. The idea that the other person was 100% in charge of the kids. They began making extremely vague allegations of how the other parent does unspecified “bad things” that need to be “reported.” They eve…

A lawyer once told me: "Criminal law is bad people pretending to be good. Family law is good people pretending to be bad."

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#183

Post by nadinengland »

leobg wrote: post #110

Harry Browne had a technique for splitting up assets: One partner does the splitting. And the other partner gets to choose who gets which pile. (He also has a more elaborate one, where the partners do a virtual auction of all items among themselves, to account for cases where particular items are worth a lot more to one of them. I believe it’s in his book “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World”).

When I cook I usually have a portion I prefer. I always try my living hardest to let my wife pick which portion I have as to make it fair.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#184

Post by saiya-jin »

astura wrote: post #136
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

I thought prenups were for couples where one or both parties are bringing assets into the divorce? Like, I'd consider one if I had any real assets or savings beyond my retirement accounts, but at the time I got married I didn't.

In place I currently live even retirements savings are part of divorce split, and I don't think any prenup can affect that. They basically add them together and split 50:50, which is often more fair to women who skipped years of work and career building and stayed with kids. Earned before/during marriage doesn't matter in this case.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#186

Post by benreesman »

xwdv wrote: post #181
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

That’s a unique take on it, so getting a prenup can help prevent divorce. This will be a good counter argument for when women argue that a prenup just means you’re eventually planning to get divorced.

In my personal value system, the main (only?) reason to do a pre-nup is to improve the odds of a successful marriage.

Money comes and goes. It can be a great help, but it behooves anyone who has any to prevent it becoming a hinderance on the road to happiness.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#187

Post by benreesman »

webmobdev wrote: post #169
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

Islamic laws on such matters are "surprisingly" progressive - as one of the few religions that recognises and accepts divorce, it is the only one I know that also insists on a prenup which specifies a lump sum a prospective bride is entitled to if the couple divorce in future. (This is negotiated between the families before the marriage). Note that in Islamic laws a muslim man has implied responsibility to care for h…

As Medieval codes of conduct go, Islam is pretty reasonable in my book.

I always find it kind of counter-intuitive that the Western far-right routinely complains about “creeping Sharia Law”.

If those folks red the Koran they’d agree with it!

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#188

Post by XorNot »

skissane wrote: post #130
XorNot wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More importantly it's not the state's business to override the desires of citizens to end a domestic partnership. For some reason Americans in particular who won't shut up about "my freedoms" completely forget about it when the opportunity to play relationship counselling at gunpoint comes up.

> More importantly it's not the state's business to override the desires of citizens to end a domestic partnership. There is significant evidence that divorce frequently has long-term (indeed, life-long) negative impacts on children. A recent meta-analysis [0] concluded that: > A significant association between parental divorce and every aspect of mental health was found with the following pooled ORs (95% CIs): Depre…

Because it's the state using it's monopoly on violence to interfere with the intimate lives of private citizens.

The government doesn't have a right to tell you which consenting adults you can be in a relationship with or have sex with, which is what interfering with divorce is trying to do.

If the state wants to protect children, then it can focus it's efforts on that and maybe start by not trying to force people who don't get along to live in the same house - again - by it's monopoly on violence. At gunpoint.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#189

Post by vasco »

4ad wrote: post #172
vasco wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We might be thinking of very different countries. Taxes are largely the same in most developed countries for couples or singles. Couples just have double the allowances. I'm not sure if you meant emigration, but I've lived in 3 countries while single, and I never heard this being easier married. And for sure I was never asked about my marital status for traveling.

> I'm not sure if you meant emigration, but I've lived in 3 countries while single, and I never heard this being easier married. If you have partner who you are not married with, you can't bring them in whatever country you are emigrating to. > And for sure I was never asked about my marital status for traveling. Then you have not traveled to muslim countries with your partner.

Yes we can, we just apply independently, at the same time, as independent adults that we are, we've moved together all those times.

I've also traveled to Muslim countries, latest of which Morocco. There might be some restrictions here and there but the way you speak of marriage it makes it sound like it's the 14th century.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#190

Post by benreesman »

astura wrote: post #136
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

I thought prenups were for couples where one or both parties are bringing assets into the divorce? Like, I'd consider one if I had any real assets or savings beyond my retirement accounts, but at the time I got married I didn't.

Any contract is useful only so far as one or both parties have the means and inclination to either litigate it or credibly threaten to.

Absent a disparity in the pre-marriage estates, I doubt anyone would have the inclination to push the issue.

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