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New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

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Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#171

Post by saiya-jin »

sofixa wrote: post #117
throwaway_4ever wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sheesh Texas let that guy shoot and kill an unarmed man, outside of the house, with no charges? Insert a gun into a frustrating situation for no reason. What an a-hole.

> Insert a gun into a frustrating situation for no reason IMHO that's the main reason everyone having a gun with zero training is one of the stupidest things ever. People are dumb, people are brash, people make mistakes, people argue over everything. Why introduce a lethal component to every confrontation and bar fight? Because a piece of paper written 200 years ago says that it will be needed to protect the country…

Gun ownership can be done well, with most people being minimally restricted. I really don't see why psycho-tests and some minimal level of gun manipulation skills shouldn't be a prerequisite. I mean do you want to live around a person who can't pass that but bought yesterday AR-15 with ten 40-round magazines and 2000 bullets?

But gun owners in US have this knee-jerk end-of-the-world reaction at any attempt to change anything, regardless of all the school shootings and overall ridiculously high murder rate. Tunnel vision that guns are the most important thing in the world and who doesn't restrict them is the best politician.

I lean in my opinions more towards right but due to this I would never ever be republican if I were in the US. Voting for the same people as vast amounts of bible belt gun nuts whose wet dreams are mostly about their property being invaded by some thugs (or anybody really) so they can finally defend themselves with one of the 50 guns they have mostly for this purpose, and the spend significant amount of time and money on preparing exactly for this scenario... that would be insulting.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#172

Post by 4ad »

vasco wrote: post #165
4ad wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then you have to pay more in taxes, having kids is more challenging, getting a mortgage becomes more expensive, immigration becomes impossible, and in some countries even travel becomes difficult.

We might be thinking of very different countries. Taxes are largely the same in most developed countries for couples or singles. Couples just have double the allowances. I'm not sure if you meant emigration, but I've lived in 3 countries while single, and I never heard this being easier married. And for sure I was never asked about my marital status for traveling.

> I'm not sure if you meant emigration, but I've lived in 3 countries while single, and I never heard this being easier married.

If you have partner who you are not married with, you can't bring them in whatever country you are emigrating to.

> And for sure I was never asked about my marital status for traveling.

Then you have not traveled to muslim countries with your partner.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#173

Post by pohl »

giantg2 wrote: post #163
nicoburns wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That doesn't make any sense, because it being a "no-holds barred cage match" makes it more likely for one party to lose. Going in with a co-operative mindset (at least until the other party demonstrates they are not) should be win-win.

"Going in with a co-operative mindset (at least until the other party demonstrates they are not) should be win-win." Completely agree. However, the underlying reason for many divorces is that they no long have the ability to cooperate or view things rationally.

The ability is still there. Usually it’s the willingness that’s absent.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#174

Post by oneoff786 »

pyuser583 wrote: post #82
cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

I just watched friends divorce. They brought a lot of unnecessary suffering in themselves. They didn’t want an app. The number one thing to know about divorce with kids is that you lose control. They couldn’t stand that. The idea that the other person was 100% in charge of the kids. They began making extremely vague allegations of how the other parent does unspecified “bad things” that need to be “reported.” They eve…

They also generally desire to harm the other party more than get assets for themselves. If just one part is willing to spend a dollar to make the other party lose a dollar, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#175

Post by thr0wawayf00 »

giantg2 wrote: post #161
cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

"I hope that the new app will help divorcing couples to work through the divorce with less pain on both sides." It won't. The people who fight over used dish soap and other petty things will continue to have issues. The other part is people having an incorrect perception of what they are entitled to in a divorce. The app or a lawyer will be able to show them how wrong that perception is, but it won't dull the pain. W…

This. My ex-wife and I split amicably and without lawyers, it was a really easy process in my state. Not having any assets made things easier but we were mature enough to be adults about it all.

The problem isn't the divorce process, it's the people involved, either the parties to the divorce or their attorneys.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#176

Post by tenebrisalietum »

nsonha wrote: post #156

The supreme court should ban apps like this because it encourages divorces

Marriage and divorce aren't mentioned in the Constitution (at least not yet). Is it impiled like that right to privacy that was recently redefined?

A freedom loving state should also love the freedom to end marriages.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#177

Post by marcinzm »

vasco wrote: post #133
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

Simpler option is to avoid marriage, greatly reducing the pressure on getting a divorce.

If you intermingle finances or kids or property ownership then you have all the problems of a divorce except no legal framework to handle them in. Which makes for an even worse splitting process rather than a better one.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#178

Post by meepmorp »

jquery wrote: post #147
pyuser583 wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sort of rational thinking you are describing was completely absent from this process. Neither party cared about child support or alimony. Or money, at all. Also, you’re not accurately describing how things turned out. One of the parents wound up having very little custody time, and very little child support.

> The sort of rational thinking you are describing was completely absent from this process The unreasonably high stakes of “losing” a divorce case make it more like a no-holds barred cage match. I think America likes it this way because on some level it believes people must suffer for getting divorced.

Not everybody's divorce is like this. My ex and I went through voluntary mediation and came to a mutually agreed settlement, with shared legal custody.

We just both recognized that the process was about separating our lives, not resolving our feelings about one another. And that's pretty much always why it goes wrong - people want to use court proceedings as a substitute for therapy.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#179

Post by civilized »

kmlx wrote: post #149
cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

friends of mine divorced recently. they were on good terms, but were getting egged on by their lawyers. the lawyers very much preferred a long drawn-out divorce. luckily my friends were on good terms and they discussed about what their lawyers were telling them. which were mostly falsehoods. stuff like “are you sure the other party hasn’t hidden funds from you?”. so i’m sure there are horrible divorces, but i’m also…

Sounds like the lawyers know that getting couples to fight profitably is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#180

Post by meepmorp »

webmobdev wrote: post #169
benreesman wrote: post #96

This is slightly tangential, but I went through a no-prenup divorce. My intentions were good in not wanting a pre-nup, but I’ve changed my advice for a reason that surprises a lot of people. The reason I now advise folks to do a pre-nup is that when things are getting tense, everyone feeling insecure about their future actually increases the pressure and therefore the possibility of a divorce. Write your pre-nup howe…

Islamic laws on such matters are "surprisingly" progressive - as one of the few religions that recognises and accepts divorce, it is the only one I know that also insists on a prenup which specifies a lump sum a prospective bride is entitled to if the couple divorce in future. (This is negotiated between the families before the marriage). Note that in Islamic laws a muslim man has implied responsibility to care for h…

Judaism also recognizes divorce. Among the abrahamic religions, it's only Christianity that traditionally insists on continuing the marriage once the participants want out.
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