Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

resolvy.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

151–160 of 243 posts

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#151

Post by OmarAssadi »

throwaway_4ever wrote: post #112
nickMMM wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

thank you - I hope so too. When people are separating and fighting over kids, that can get intense too. This tragic story has stuck me for a long time https://nypost.com/2021/11/26/texas-man-shoots-partners-ex-a... . If people understand their rights better, they can avoid taking things into their own hands.

Sheesh Texas let that guy shoot and kill an unarmed man, outside of the house, with no charges? Insert a gun into a frustrating situation for no reason. What an a-hole.

I really shouldn’t have clicked the article, honestly. I have become so desensitized to everything on the internet at this point, but something about parents always makes my heart ache so baddddd. I totally struggle to not to insert my own mom or dad. It’s just tragic.

I really cannot comprehend why there is no punishment for things like that.

Sure, was he at risk of the other person grabbing the gun? Probably. But why did he have to unnecessarily bring a firearm into a heated and emotional argument in the first place? What was supposed to happen?

It feels so psychotic to me, like taunting someone with the intention to bait them into their death. Those kids lost their parent for no good reason :(

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#152

Post by bsagdiyev »

ngetchell wrote: post #139
notch656a wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Once you understand child support payments, and thus the ability to be jailed and eventually charged with a felony and have your civil rights revoked, are tied to custody you'll understand part of the reason for the high stakes. If you end up with The only debtor's prison there is in the US is the one for people with <50% custody. Therefore if the other parent makes claims of abuse, it's imperative you have countercl…

This isn't how divorce or child support payments work. This is just a popular line of reasoning in Men's Rights circles. It's certainly possible but very unlikely. I know lots of people that are divorced, with partial custody. Most like the situation better than when they were married.

Tell that to my dad, who dealt with a vindictive ex-wife who cleaned him out and used my sister as a pawn against him. My sister still hates my dad to this day due to the lies she told her about him.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#153

Post by mercy_dude »

feet wrote: post #141
mercy_dude wrote: post #140

Divorce as a service. We already have marriage as a service in the form of “open relationships” one can argue. How about child bearing as a service? Perhaps in the form of surrogate or finding willing donors/carriers? And then child care as a service under the umbrella of adoption as a service, child rearing/daycare as a service (for example an app that allows each party to sign up when and how they would split the t…

I'm not sure I understand your perspective. How is an open relationship "marriage as a service"?

“As a service” has a subscription or on demand expiry concept embedded to it - it was meant in that sense.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#154

Post by bko »

notch656a wrote: post #87
pyuser583 wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just watched friends divorce. They brought a lot of unnecessary suffering in themselves. They didn’t want an app. The number one thing to know about divorce with kids is that you lose control. They couldn’t stand that. The idea that the other person was 100% in charge of the kids. They began making extremely vague allegations of how the other parent does unspecified “bad things” that need to be “reported.” They eve…

Once you understand child support payments, and thus the ability to be jailed and eventually charged with a felony and have your civil rights revoked, are tied to custody you'll understand part of the reason for the high stakes. If you end up with The only debtor's prison there is in the US is the one for people with <50% custody. Therefore if the other parent makes claims of abuse, it's imperative you have countercl…

> If you end up with I don't think thats how child support works in most states. Income shares model basically looks at the cost of raising a child in a particular jurisdiction then pro-rates that based on the parents income. For instance if the cost of child per month is 1k and the man earns 50k and the woman earns 100k (assuming woman has custody), the man would pay $333 a month (50 / 150 * 1k)

https://www.thebalance.com/how-child-support-payments-are-ca...

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#155

Post by nicoburns »

jquery wrote: post #147
pyuser583 wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sort of rational thinking you are describing was completely absent from this process. Neither party cared about child support or alimony. Or money, at all. Also, you’re not accurately describing how things turned out. One of the parents wound up having very little custody time, and very little child support.

> The sort of rational thinking you are describing was completely absent from this process The unreasonably high stakes of “losing” a divorce case make it more like a no-holds barred cage match. I think America likes it this way because on some level it believes people must suffer for getting divorced.

That doesn't make any sense, because it being a "no-holds barred cage match" makes it more likely for one party to lose. Going in with a co-operative mindset (at least until the other party demonstrates they are not) should be win-win.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#157

Post by satyrnein »

notch656a wrote: post #132
Broken_Hippo wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's not what alimony is. The person staying at home has given up work, and cannot enter the workforce in the same way after marriage because they've not been in the workforce for years. They've given up earning potential for you to work and alimony (in theory) is to make sure you are regulating someone to poverty after they gave up that earning potential to be a homemaker without the benefits of employment (days o…

>That's not what alimony is. Yes I'm aware. I was specifically asked to model it as 'severance.' Most of the stay-at-home spouses I've met didn't give up work as a gift to their spouse, they did it as a gift to their children. Should children pay alimony to stay-at-home moms for the work opportunities their mother lost out on to take care of them?

Are you suggesting the father derived no benefit from the arrangement, that he continued to do half of the childcare, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc?

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#158

Post by jeofken »

xWJkCDrVQ2 wrote: post #134

My parents divorced recently. Watching two of the most important people in my life gradually grow to resent each other to the point where they can't stand each other's presence was hard for me even as a thirty year old. I can't imagine what this experience would have done to me as a child, so I'm thankful that they stuck together for as long as they did. In the end I was actually the one who suggested that they shoul…

> I know both of them want to see grandkids, and I still dread the day when I have to tell them it's probably never going to happen. The best I can do at that point is probably to make up some other reason why, instead of telling them the real reason: them.

I’m sorry to hear you had to experience your family breaking.

Lying to them is a disservice - breaking a marriage has always been taboo for these consequences - risking ruining the childrens future families. Our actions ripple through the generations. The truth may make them feel agony at their realisation of their actions consequences, but without truth, we can not navigate in this world.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#159

Post by micromacrofoot »

bsagdiyev wrote: post #152
ngetchell wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This isn't how divorce or child support payments work. This is just a popular line of reasoning in Men's Rights circles. It's certainly possible but very unlikely. I know lots of people that are divorced, with partial custody. Most like the situation better than when they were married.

Tell that to my dad, who dealt with a vindictive ex-wife who cleaned him out and used my sister as a pawn against him. My sister still hates my dad to this day due to the lies she told her about him.

for every story like this there’s an opposite, my dad left the state to avoid child support, worked under the table to avoid wage garnishment, and I got to watch him buy expensive cars for girlfriends from afar while my mom worked 60 hours a week to keep us barely above the poverty line
Post reply on HN