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New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

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Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#101

Post by rokhayakebe »

chrsig wrote: post #72
no_wizard wrote: post #57

Does this handle potential alimony? That’s the thing that scares me about getting divorced. A friend of mine confided in me that their partner hasn’t worked since they been married and is afraid that ending the relationship would put them in a deep alimony situation. Unfortunate side effect of living in a high cost are sure but I understand their frustration

It shouldn't be that scary. I've been married coming up on 10 years in January. I've been the sole income provider for a large majority of the marriage. I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. I'm in a marriage with her because I love her and respect her. Part of t…

As Chris Rock says, the problem is not having to give up half of 15M. The problem is having to give up half of 35,000.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#102

Post by spoonjim »

romanovcode wrote: post #99
cheriot wrote: post #98

I watch my parents spend more money on lawyers than either of them stood to gain from winning. Is it possible to have a prenump that declares a fair method of splitting assets and prevents the lawsuits?

Yes, it's called postnup. You do a prenup and after marriage do a postnup. This pretty much binds contract in stone since partner accepted the terms even after the marriage contract was in motion. All in all marriage seems like a lot of contracts for no good benefit.

The difficulty of unwinding it is what makes it a valuable signal of commitment.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#103

Post by notch656a »

pyuser583 wrote: post #93
notch656a wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Once you understand child support payments, and thus the ability to be jailed and eventually charged with a felony and have your civil rights revoked, are tied to custody you'll understand part of the reason for the high stakes. If you end up with The only debtor's prison there is in the US is the one for people with <50% custody. Therefore if the other parent makes claims of abuse, it's imperative you have countercl…

The sort of rational thinking you are describing was completely absent from this process. Neither party cared about child support or alimony. Or money, at all. Also, you’re not accurately describing how things turned out. One of the parents wound up having very little custody time, and very little child support.

Accusations of abuse seem pretty rational to me in a custody battle. It's one of the best ways to get custody. Come up with some 'witnesses', trick the kid into testifying on your side. Have the attorney write up the sob story and blindside the other partner so they're left defenseless. Bonus points if you can get a restraining order in the process so custody is lost and continuity is maintained by continuing the custody terms of the restraining order -- also a good way to destroy means of defense as in some states a spouse has their firearm rights suspended during the order.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#104

Post by toast0 »

philliphaydon wrote: post #86
chrsig wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It shouldn't be that scary. I've been married coming up on 10 years in January. I've been the sole income provider for a large majority of the marriage. I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. I'm in a marriage with her because I love her and respect her. Part of t…

You don’t have to answer but I would like to ask. > I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. If you were to divorce would you find it reasonable for her to get 50%? Because I would seem as tho she gave up (willingly in support of you) a career for you. And after div…

> If you were to divorce would you find it reasonable for her to get 50%?

Seems like a good place to start, although it should probably be for a limited time and/or reduce over time. My spouse stopped working shortly after we married, as was mutually agreed and beneficial, and many years out of the workforce likely reduces earnings forever, but 50% of earnings after divorce forever doesn't seem fair; 50% for a limited time is probably less administrative burden than an amount that more fairly or accurately compensates for the lost earnings potential for a longer time. Certainly 50% of retirement accounts, and if there's a pension, 50% of that portion fairly allocated to the marriage (social security has its own rules for spousal allowances in a divorce, which may or may not be fair, but are what they are; I'd assume that's mostly accepted as-is though?)

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#105

Post by chrsig »

notch656a wrote: post #100
chrsig wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you have a flawed mental model of alimony. Try modelling it more like a severance package. Should you keep working for your employer after they've terminated the employment agreement, but agreed to give severance? The universal answer is a resounding 'no'.

I see marriage as an equal partnership, so if there is a post-marriage 'severance' (beyond 50/50 asset disposition noted above) it would be bilateral (bread winner gives money to home-maker, home-maker gives maid/home-making service to bread winner). Seems cleanest at all just to cut ties though.

It's not a symmetric exchange though. One person has decidedly more capability to start a new life than the other. The 'severance' is intended to help them establish that new life (e.g., acquire training, housing, etc)

If they're continuing to perform home making duties, they don't have the time to build that new life. And you're essentially keeping them trapped in the relationship even after a divorce.

You're of course welcome to negotiate anything with a potential spouse before marriage and encode it in a prenup.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#107

Post by dijonman2 »

Useless. A friend of mine mediated and agreed on a specific division of assets in a NY divorce. His ex wife talked to a friend who encouraged that she could get more. She hired a lawyer, nullified the previous agreement, and demanded cash payment half of his net worth. He lost, had to pay, and got fucked.

Courts heavily favor women in divorce. Time to fix this, and bring equality to men. They had no kids.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#109

Post by leobg »

jollybean wrote: post #63

The government should provide the model for this: enter data, here you go and here are the justifications for it. Want to pay, you can see a judge at your own cost. You walk into the lawyers office, they just sign off.

The government should maybe replace much of its inefficient court system with self-serve computers, and use the savings to cut taxes. But I hear that’s not the kind of thing governments do.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#110

Post by leobg »

Harry Browne had a technique for splitting up assets: One partner does the splitting. And the other partner gets to choose who gets which pile.

(He also has a more elaborate one, where the partners do a virtual auction of all items among themselves, to account for cases where particular items are worth a lot more to one of them. I believe it’s in his book “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World”).

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