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What I don’t like about working at a remote job

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Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#151

Post by yosito »

> It’s extremely hard to be friends with your co-workers. You have to go out of your way to reach out and be available. Friendships don’t happen “organically” like they do in the office

Are people actually friends with their coworkers? I'm friendly with my coworkers, but I find actual friendship to be a conflict of interest. This is why I love working from coworking spaces. I can be friends with everyone I spend the whole day with, without worrying about it negatively impacting my work or vice versa.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#152

Post by silisili »

yosito wrote: post #151

> It’s extremely hard to be friends with your co-workers. You have to go out of your way to reach out and be available. Friendships don’t happen “organically” like they do in the office Are people actually friends with their coworkers? I'm friendly with my coworkers, but I find actual friendship to be a conflict of interest. This is why I love working from coworking spaces. I can be friends with everyone I spend the…

I feel similarly. I happen to work with a lady who, being honest, shouldn't be a programmer at all, and basically just creates messes. But she is the kindest person, and at meetups is probably one of the friendliest and most talkative people. And not in a fake sugar cover my ass way or anything, a real genuine person.

I wouldn't call us friends by any means, but man does it create this giant conflict of interest in my head still.

On a similar note, I also helped a friend get a job with me a few years back. He was completely checked out, to the point I was ashamed to have ever recommended him. So I probably won't do that again, either.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#153

Post by nightpool »

karaterobot wrote: post #97

I rearranged my life to get a remote job, which started in January 2020, a couple months before everyone in my industry was remote anyway. I'd always wanted to be fully remote, and for me it was absolutely the right choice. I'm so much happier now, not having to commute, not sitting next to the guy who bounces his leg all day, being able to run errands in the middle of the day, not feeling like I need to do busy work…

Unfortunately, covid case numbers in my area just do not support going back to the office, even if I wanted to. And regardless, my company got rid of their physical office entirely—so there would be nowhere to go back to even if I could return. I think most smaller companies are in a similar boat: why pay for an office if you can get away without?

And even if there was an office available, would there even be a benefit to going into the office to work with the 2 other people who are local if I still have to spend all of my time on video calls with the 8 other people who are remote? And the labor conditions have changed such that even if I could find a company and team that was fully local (and cared about it enough to give up my current team, whom I love working with otherwise), I probably wouldn't want to work with any team that was only hiring locally and made it a requirement. Just look at how many people associate working from an office with pointy haired management overreach! Who would even take that kind of job? Nobody who had any other options, that's for sure.

When the industry is moving to remote first, everybody gets swept up in the same tide.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#154

Post by barbs »

When I was working remotely, I found working in a coworking space did wonders for my mental health. I had to try a few to find one with the right vibe/culture, but having people around that are working on different things, but that are also up for a chat, fixed a lot of the problems mentioned in this article for me.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#155

Post by therealdrag0 »

yosito wrote: post #151

> It’s extremely hard to be friends with your co-workers. You have to go out of your way to reach out and be available. Friendships don’t happen “organically” like they do in the office Are people actually friends with their coworkers? I'm friendly with my coworkers, but I find actual friendship to be a conflict of interest. This is why I love working from coworking spaces. I can be friends with everyone I spend the…

I’ve made many friends from previous jobs I still chat and hang out with.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#156

Post by lars512 »

getYeGone wrote: post #149

I graduated in 2020 into what was supposed to be a “regular” in-person job, that was turned into a fully remote job due to Covid. I ended up hating it there, and since have found a new primarily-remote job that I love. My life feels hopeless. I wake up, go to the gym, and then work from 9–8. I work so much because I have nothing better to do. Then I watch a movie or some garbage on YouTube and go to bed. I have no fr…

To make new friends, you should try to find an activity you enjoy and a group you can join regularly (e.g. a meetup). If the activities are weekly, one could be enough. If monthly, pick up a couple of different ones. Over months you end up slowly building the relationships with others that you’ve missed. I had to do this after moving to a new country, it made a big difference in the end.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#157

Post by bpye »

_s wrote: post #27

Working from home, or remotely is not for everyone - neither is being in an office. Some folks thrive in an office environment, they value the things it provides - a schedule, a time, a reason to get up and out, socialising with others, being out in the world. It comes at a cost of time and a bit of freedom; you don't really get to choose the hours or where this happens, neither the folks you interact with. Others pr…

I prefer to be remote. I find having my own space is less distracting but if I need to get up and walk away from my computer for a bit because I'm stuck - that also works better. I can be more flexible with my time if I have other things that I need to do during the day. Less thinking about lunch or drinks or such - I'm home, I have my kitchen.

At the same time - I also appreciate having an office that I can go to. Sometimes I just need a change of scenery, other times it's nice to just be around some other people. My team aren't local either, but there are a few folks I know in the local office on other teams - so it works out.

I very much agree that what's important is finding the right balance for yourself, and it certainly takes some experimentation.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#158

Post by endorphine »

rTX5CMRXIfFG wrote: post #46
javajosh wrote: post #15

A lot of us are in the same boat, and I see some good advice here. But the pattern I see in the OP's observations is the lack of motion . The repetitive motion from home to work, work to home, is like breathing on a different time scale, and as annoying as the travel itself is, you are at least moving through the world . And when you're at work, you are with people who are facing the same mundane challenges of where…

There’s no mention of motion in the post but as someone who did WFH for 2+ years before the pandemic, I can attest that even café hopping falls within the author’s first bulletpoint, which is that everyday is exactly the same. It’s expensive, too, since you can rarely just sit in a café without ordering anything.

You can order only coffees though.

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#159

Post by bowsamic »

getYeGone wrote: post #149

I graduated in 2020 into what was supposed to be a “regular” in-person job, that was turned into a fully remote job due to Covid. I ended up hating it there, and since have found a new primarily-remote job that I love. My life feels hopeless. I wake up, go to the gym, and then work from 9–8. I work so much because I have nothing better to do. Then I watch a movie or some garbage on YouTube and go to bed. I have no fr…

I think this is an epidemic right now frankly. A lot of people your age are struggling to find and maintain any kind of social connection and live a totally isolated life. It isn’t surprising, we aren’t used to having to go out of our way to find any social situation. It’s entirely possible to live without talking to anyone. Unfortunately for some reason it quickly becomes misanthropic too, especially if you have depression: you start to not want to be around people or not want to talk to people, you forget what they can offer you. I think there is absolutely a major widespread problem of growing social isolation right now

I am in Germany so even in the office people are cold. Native Germans (especially from the north) take months to years to warm up to you, so it takes a long time for them to warm up to you

Re: What I don’t like about working at a remote job

#160

Post by asadjb »

getYeGone wrote: post #149

I graduated in 2020 into what was supposed to be a “regular” in-person job, that was turned into a fully remote job due to Covid. I ended up hating it there, and since have found a new primarily-remote job that I love. My life feels hopeless. I wake up, go to the gym, and then work from 9–8. I work so much because I have nothing better to do. Then I watch a movie or some garbage on YouTube and go to bed. I have no fr…

I'm sorry you feel this way, but maybe my experience can give you hope.

I moved countries in 2013, and barely had 1 friend after I moved. I had a few office colleagues I was friends with, but very rarely met with them outside of the office.

My days were similar to what you describe. Working long hours and then sitting at home with Netflix or Youtube. COVID has made it worst in your case unfortunately.

Here's what I learned which might help you: - Watching movies or Youtube isn't necessarily a "waste" of time. It's just a way to spend time. You don't need to spend your time being productive or social. If the movies or videos let you pass the time in peace, enjoy that. I also enjoyed reading books back when I was living by myself, but the majority of my time was spent in "wasteful" activities like social media and movies. As long as it's a conscious decision to spend your time this way, I would suggest to not call it "wasted" time. You're spending time doing things that help you relax and unwind. It's not wasted. - It took me a long time (> 2 years) to find a group of friends that I was happy being around. College is really the last time in my life when I made friends quickly. I think it's purely because being together for hours everyday over the course of years naturally builds friendships. Making friends after college takes time. As someone who is introverted, it took me even longer. - The time I had to spend by myself was difficult at times, but that was just because of the way I had framed it then. Like you said, there's an expectation of how people your age have to act; go out and have fun. Ultimately it is someone else's expectations that you are enforcing on yourself. Find things that bring you some version of joy. Don't worry about what others expect you to do. - Find hobbies. If you have a well paying job and low expenses, you should try your hand at different things. I've tried and given up on so many things over the years. A few; like 3D printing and FPV drone flying have stuck around. Again, I used to think that I was failing because I didn't stick with hobbies for a long time. I now realize that it would have been worse trying to force myself to spend my free time on things I didn't enjoy. - Following up on the hobbies thing - find communities around your hobbies that you enjoy. It's a great way to make friends. Communities don't need to be in-person either. There are so many amazing people you can make friends with online through your interests.

Finally, working in-person with others in the office is a great way of accelerating friendships. Many in my current friends circle are people I met in the office, or people I met through my colleagues.

The last thing I'll end with is to not worry too much and give it time. That's essentially what helped me; giving it time.

Hope that helps.

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