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Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#101

Post by mbg721 »

hiptobecubic wrote: post #42
Thorentis wrote: post #13

My opinion: children don't need access to the internet, period. There are plenty of ways to let them explore, learn, and play, without giving them any access to the internet. I plan to host an entirely off-line copy of Wikipedia, a bunch of other resources, video games, programming tutorials and libraries. Basically a whole bunch of content that will let them learn about computers and the world, without having access…

Counterpoint, if your child grows up and isn't "internet native" they will be like people who "don't get computers" over the last decade. It's very limiting.

Spending time on the Internet doesn't make you understand computers. (It does make you understand that you get a hit of happy-brain-juice when you press the Play button.) My wife teaches college courses and laments that her students, fully in the always-online generation, are helpless in Excel, let alone something like a command line.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#102

Post by mbg721 »

Macha wrote: post #76
thoms_a wrote: post #68

Expose your kids to activities that are more compelling than screens. Trust me, once you take a kid go-karting, they aren't going to be as excited playing a video game. Do cool shit with your kids. Go skiing, camping, fishing, go-karting, flying (small plane tours), drone racing, etc. I know most of us here are nerds, but the jocks really do have life figured out when it comes to fun stuff.

I realise HN has a disproportionate amount of software engineers, but I know my parents would struggle to afford the likes of skiing, flying, go-karting as regular activities, never mind in sufficient quantities to displace video games and the internet. Even a trip to the bowling alley was a rare treat when I was growing up.

It takes a few years before even something as simple as a walk to the park isn't exciting anymore. And I think the thing that's implied in most of the pessimistic responses here is "you have to start early or you lose control".

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#103

Post by Balgair »

waynesonfire wrote: post #96
Balgair wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought so too! I imagine there are a lot of ways to dip your toes into SM without all the drama. Things like model trains, art, metalworking, 4H, or other 'creative' pursuits where the focus is not on the poster but rather what the poster has created/done. Less documenting your own life and more documenting your efforts. The pet thing seems to work well as it has the kids do chores surreptitiously.

such a great idea.

It reminds me of the old bit of advice for newly arrived starlets to Hollywood:

"If you have something to say, better to be behind the camera than in front of it"

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#104

Post by tiluha »

jaclaz wrote: post #12

> - Do I give them the ability to do online purchases? > - Do I allow them to use up all of their money even as a mistake, or do I set up a limit? IMHO you should not allow online purchases until a certain age, I would say until 10 years old or so, before that they should ask you for something and you pay for them (if the request is reasonable and anyway if they deserve that). Starting from 5 or 6 years old you will…

I would only allow them to do online purchases themselves once they turn 14 or so. No restrictions what they spend their money on. Reduces the risk of them falling for phishing and scams

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#105

Post by sam0x17 »

ffhhj wrote: post #97
sam0x17 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I will say, YouTube killed my nephew’s interest in programming and tinkering. He started out with all sorts of interests and teaching himself how to code. Now he just watches YouTube and TikTok like all the other sheep and does nothing interesting.

I optimized my life to build projects, and I avoid youtube and tutorials unless I can't really guess how to achieve something. Tutorials, and especially video tutorials that are less easy to quickly examine just deplede your "creativity moment". Why make something if someone already did? The goal that was "magical and special" for me is now a consumerism's image in the Desert of the Real.

I get so annoyed these days when I google "how to X" and the top 20 results are youtube videos like I don't want to make noise or put headphones on sheesh.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#106

Post by fdsafdsfdsa »

>you are likely to understand my concern for privacy and personal integrity,

I've given up on the high ideals I used to hold about (online) privacy (and anonymity). There's an argument that they, in some circumstances, are the antithesis of personal and public responsibility.

My current plan is that my kids will get tech when they can afford it themselves. I'm also dreading it, as more parents bow to the pressure and allow kids to have phones and tablets at an ever-younger age. I do understand the downsides of this, and also don't want my kids to be social pariahs.

Also - you role model what your kids will do. If you think it's ok to sit and scroll on your phone at every opportunity, so will your kids. If you game till the early hours, so will your kids.

FWIW both my wife and I gave up smartphones last year, and all "tech" in the house is banished to our home office. When a family computer becomes a necessity, it will be in a shared area.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#107

Post by lwswl »

majkinetor wrote: post #50

Nobody can help you here. They would get a Nobel prize if they knew how to raise kids. By having kids you accept all risks involved, to both your kids and yourself. There is no silver bullet. As always, going for education is the only thing you can do to reduce risks.

There is always a silver bullet. There just isn't always a werewolf.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#108

Post by ethbr0 »

woojoo666 wrote: post #98
ethbr0 wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The central problem here is trust: either your kid trusts you enough to discuss things with you, or they don't. If that doesn't exist, implementing a technical panopticon is a way to paper over its worst effects, but it's not a solution to the root problem.

> The central problem here is trust: either your kid trusts you enough to discuss things with you, or they don't. I don't think it's that simple. A predator can catfish as a high school girl, send raunchy texts and images to the boy, and the boy might be tempted to engage but wouldn't tell their parents out of embarassment (just like how a teenage boy isn't going to tell their parents about their porn watching habits…

The solution to that isn't tapping your boy's IM and chat history though. It's having a relationship with him where he feels comfortable mentioning he's talking to someone new.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#109

Post by rnd0 »

sam0x17 wrote: post #105
ffhhj wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I optimized my life to build projects, and I avoid youtube and tutorials unless I can't really guess how to achieve something. Tutorials, and especially video tutorials that are less easy to quickly examine just deplede your "creativity moment". Why make something if someone already did? The goal that was "magical and special" for me is now a consumerism's image in the Desert of the Real.

I get so annoyed these days when I google "how to X" and the top 20 results are youtube videos like I don't want to make noise or put headphones on sheesh.

I get angry because they're largely bullshit filler to begin with, and even that aside I can skim a lot faster than I can read. They're an intentional waste of my time soley for the sake of draining my wallet.

The placement of videos over text tutorials is a literal scam, and I resent it strongly.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#110

Post by s1k3 »

I kind of don’t understand all the crazy concern around kids and tech. Was like every current parent negatively impacted by their computer and internet use when they were younger?

Is this simply a concern around social media usage which has ballooned in the past 10 years?

I sometimes feel like I’m in the minority here when I’m going to give me children wide latitude in their tech/internet usage. And only intervene if I see detrimental behavior as a result.

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