Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

news.ycombinator.com

81–90 of 232 posts

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#81
post #43

One thing I noticed that is often missing in these discussions, sometimes it isn't up to the parents to decide at all. Imagine your 8 - 11 years old daughter's social circle, and the school she is at where her classmate were allowed very little Internet at home or school. Then you wouldn't have a problem enforcing whatever internet rules. Now imagine everyone of her classmate were playing Minecraft, and she is the on…

> Tik Tok for her would be a necessary evil. [...] While not productive, they are harmless. I think it is a mistake to view something like viral TikTok videos as "harmless". Wasn't it a few weeks ago that we had a front page article on a child that died during a "pass out challenge"? But you raise a good point. Other parents giving their children unsupervised access to the internet creates a massive problem. A collea…

I haven’t got the discipline to keep a minimum of screen time and I notice a massive difference between kids that do have very little unsupervised access (i.e many hours of TikTok and YouTube): the screen kids in my non-English speaking country speak fluent English at age 9 or 10. The non screen kids might never catch up. So while I’m sure it’s toxic as hell at least there is some benefit.

If I was in an English speaking country I’d set my kids’ TikTok to e.g Spanish ;)

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#82
post #43

One thing I noticed that is often missing in these discussions, sometimes it isn't up to the parents to decide at all. Imagine your 8 - 11 years old daughter's social circle, and the school she is at where her classmate were allowed very little Internet at home or school. Then you wouldn't have a problem enforcing whatever internet rules. Now imagine everyone of her classmate were playing Minecraft, and she is the on…

Friends of ours have a pretty okay-ish implementation for social media for their kids. They make the kid the 'brand manager' for a pet first. The kid gets the interaction of social media and their friends, but they have to do it for their dog/cat for a year first, then they can get their own account. The kids have gotten some low level brand sponsorships for the pets, something that the other kids at school are jealous of, or so I am told. The kiddos know the ins and outs of social media from the business side a bit more, though I am skeptical of that. Also, the pets are eating and getting toys at a discount, kinda. Seems like not the worst of ideas and allows for a soft entry into that hellscape.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#83
post #43

One thing I noticed that is often missing in these discussions, sometimes it isn't up to the parents to decide at all. Imagine your 8 - 11 years old daughter's social circle, and the school she is at where her classmate were allowed very little Internet at home or school. Then you wouldn't have a problem enforcing whatever internet rules. Now imagine everyone of her classmate were playing Minecraft, and she is the on…

I swear it will be like, OpenBSD only, custom router, firewall everything, no Windows... If you can break out, good on you. If you can write your own tools, even better. "I was traumatized from computing because my dad never let me see a GUI outside of X11." I hope they'll be bored enough to wander over to books--"old" programming and math books--and just start working through those. Who knows. There were at least th…

I will say, YouTube killed my nephew’s interest in programming and tinkering. He started out with all sorts of interests and teaching himself how to code. Now he just watches YouTube and TikTok like all the other sheep and does nothing interesting.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#84
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If a 13 year old is that inexperienced and much of a target... it's probably time to have a conversation about sexuality and the perils of sharing sexual pictures of oneself with random people on the internet. I swear, most of the "But what if?!"isms boil down to "I don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation with my child to teach them about the world." (Said as the father of a 14 year old)

I think you underestimate the problem space. Think of it like security issues where the attackers/researchers are constantly evolving and generating novel ways to hack a system. Your solution is telling fresh out of school developers to be really careful about use after free bugs and spear phishing. Obviously a good start. But it's not enough in a lot of cases.

The central problem here is trust: either your kid trusts you enough to discuss things with you, or they don't.

If that doesn't exist, implementing a technical panopticon is a way to paper over its worst effects, but it's not a solution to the root problem.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#85
Your first responsibility is to protect your children from external threats, if you give them all the privacy in the world you won't be able to do that, so you need to somehow know what they're doing which means either an internet blocker or little privacy, both of which I'm fine with.

For kids as small as yours the internet would not even be a choice if they were my kids

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#86
post #82
post #43

One thing I noticed that is often missing in these discussions, sometimes it isn't up to the parents to decide at all. Imagine your 8 - 11 years old daughter's social circle, and the school she is at where her classmate were allowed very little Internet at home or school. Then you wouldn't have a problem enforcing whatever internet rules. Now imagine everyone of her classmate were playing Minecraft, and she is the on…

Friends of ours have a pretty okay-ish implementation for social media for their kids. They make the kid the 'brand manager' for a pet first. The kid gets the interaction of social media and their friends, but they have to do it for their dog/cat for a year first, then they can get their own account. The kids have gotten some low level brand sponsorships for the pets, something that the other kids at school are jealo…

What does being a brand manager for a dog mean? What dog? What brand? Where does social media fit in? Who are the followers?

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Tik Tok for her would be a necessary evil. [...] While not productive, they are harmless. I think it is a mistake to view something like viral TikTok videos as "harmless". Wasn't it a few weeks ago that we had a front page article on a child that died during a "pass out challenge"? But you raise a good point. Other parents giving their children unsupervised access to the internet creates a massive problem. A collea…

I haven’t got the discipline to keep a minimum of screen time and I notice a massive difference between kids that do have very little unsupervised access (i.e many hours of TikTok and YouTube): the screen kids in my non-English speaking country speak fluent English at age 9 or 10. The non screen kids might never catch up. So while I’m sure it’s toxic as hell at least there is some benefit. If I was in an English spea…

Of course they will catch up, if they’re motivated at some point to do so. And the others will lose it as soon as they stop using it.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The difference is that you're not a naive, inexperienced with life and prime target for predators 13 years old boy.

On the internet, no one knows you're a middle-aged man

Or a dog for that matter ;)

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with children's online habits?

#90

My opinion: children don't need access to the internet, period. There are plenty of ways to let them explore, learn, and play, without giving them any access to the internet. I plan to host an entirely off-line copy of Wikipedia, a bunch of other resources, video games, programming tutorials and libraries. Basically a whole bunch of content that will let them learn about computers and the world, without having access…

Counterpoint, if your child grows up and isn't "internet native" they will be like people who "don't get computers" over the last decade. It's very limiting.

They might not know how to navigate an iPhone or TikTok, but those are not foundational skills.
Post reply on HN