A hookup app for the emotionally mature • Hacker News Board

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#31

Post by gozmike » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 3:52 AM UTC

gozmike wrote: post #29

This is the first article I read on feeld/3nder that really resonates with me. Dimo and Ana were the first paying clients of the last startup I co-founded, Smooch.io, that would go on to be acquired by Zendesk. I even had a chance to meet Dimo on a trip to London. Unlike many of the hundreds of other brash founders that we sold our platform to, this team was different. The level of maturity, emotionally and otherwise…

Funny story I'll pile on...

One of the first places we showed our product was at a support software conference in vegas where we were invited to share a booth with a few other startups as part of an innovation thing.

I had feeld (then called 3nder) running as a demo in the booth to showcase how our platform could create really cool mobile help experiences. One of the people I demo'd too went full fundamentalist Christian on me and asked why I would show him an application based on the devil's work, that it was sick and disgusting that I would be proud of 3nder's patronage of our services, and a bunch of other nonsense...

I wonder sometimes if that man was actually on the app and worried his profile would show up due to the proximity :)

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#32

Post by bradlys » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 3:52 AM UTC

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

Root cause unknown but we know where people are meeting more and more. It's 1) online dating and 2) bars/clubs. Everything else individually is <10% of couples and keeps only getting smaller. Physical attractiveness is about all that matters in those venues. Your average man is not considered physically attractive to almost any women these days. So, is it a surprise that sex is going down when the only ways of meeting are relying on physical attraction are going up?

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#33

Post by randomhodler84 » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 3:58 AM UTC

babelfish wrote: post #7

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

Quoted post unavailable.

That good quality proofed print journalism is rare, and the New Yorker produces quality content. I would agree and liked their message.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#34

Post by bradlys » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:00 AM UTC

Title is kinda garbage. What Hinge is to OkCupid - Feeld is to FetLife. That's what I've gathered from the queer people in my life.

I find these articles written by (mostly) women who get such easy access to sex to be a bit... cringey. It's often written in such a way that clearly shows a privilege that is basically completely unknown to them. Akin to being rich and being unaware most people can't just ask their parents for a new Mercedes. There's always some writing about a man or men but it's always about tall white men. This article is no different. It's just... cringey and completely unaware. I expect no different from a New Yorker article, tbh - as its entire employee base is this type of persona. (Blissfully unaware)

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#35

Post by at_a_remove » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:02 AM UTC

Check the people she talked to in depth, and her: all female or femme-leaning in identity. I know it's not a "study" as such but there's a sampling bias going on there.

I would like to hear from some ordinary, average guys on the app.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#36

Post by 7speter » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:05 AM UTC

nico wrote: post #22

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comme…

I really don't think the summation of human interaction is the number of kids you end up having with a mate/partner/spouse, but maybe I'm wrong.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#37

Post by presentation » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:07 AM UTC

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

I respect nonheteronormativity but do get annoyed by how people get on a high horse about it and talk like they’re a higher evolved life form as a result of not being straight. I can’t be the only one who’s irritated by it.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#38

Post by usrn » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:09 AM UTC

As someone who used to be a lot more promiscuous: I'm pretty sure hooking up is the opposite of emotional maturity. I love Seinfeld (the old TV show) because it actually does show this. The main characters (at least Seinfeld and Elaine) have this kind of superficial maturity but you pull them apart and they're actually very childish. The show ends with them and their friends in jail with more or less nothing to show for their lives. For what the show was it has a surprisingly strong moral lesson.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#39

Post by at_a_remove » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:09 AM UTC

pwython wrote: post #25

> "choose from among twenty different categories of gender and sexuality." And just when I thought I was "emotionally mature" at 40, I can't help but giggle at that sentence. Are there really 20 different genders and such nowadays? Are these filters "kinks" or have I lost touch with the current state of identity labels?

You want to really blow your mind, check out the identities at yaygender.net. Go through them and try to imagine people having common understandings of these selections such that information is communicated by which is chosen.

What am I supposed to do with "woman" vs "womyn" vs "womon"? How about "differently-gendered" vs "metagender" vs "metamorph"? "Transgenderist" or "Trangenderalist"? Gender outlaw against gender pirate? Do these identities communicate or do they confuse?

These aren't genders, they're portions of GUIDs.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#40

Post by throw_xxx_rated » Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 4:10 AM UTC

nico wrote: post #22

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comme…

> Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV.

You realize this is of course a joke? Every country in the world decreases birthrate as their socio-economic stability increases, because in part they no longer have to rely on having lots of kids to take care of them when they are old.

The rest of your comment goes almost exactly against the story that is linked? That is about how technology is making it a lot easier for people to connect in person?

It frustrates me that this thoughtless conservatism goes unchallenged on HN.