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A hookup app for the emotionally mature

newyorker.com

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Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#21

Post by throwaway_oil »

I'm a heavy feeld user, loved the article. Author has some rose tint to their glasses, but feeld is excellent - at least in NYC.

As with any dating app, local userbase is key, so other locations may be far worse.

Some other commenters have doubts about "emotional maturity;" I think feeld encourages users to be their most authentic selves, and that takes some maturity. If you don't have it, and try to play normal dating games, you won't last there.

AMA for a heavy user, I guess? I'm probably an 8, cis tall white man in his late 20s. Mostly looking for consistent hookups, mostly women.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#22

Post by nico »

dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown.

Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV.

Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content.

Almost everyone is addicted to their phones.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices.

In fact right now I’m writing this comment while I have family around me to interact with. And they are all on their screens as well. We are not interacting, even though some of us are in the same room.

Edit: removed my uninformed comment about the Uvalde police officer

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#23

Post by lazide »

nico wrote: post #22
dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comme…

In many ways, relationships are 'paid for' with attention and time.

We're spending most of that attention and time elsewhere now, and so relationships... just don't happen more often.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#25

Post by pwython »

> "choose from among twenty different categories of gender and sexuality."

And just when I thought I was "emotionally mature" at 40, I can't help but giggle at that sentence. Are there really 20 different genders and such nowadays? Are these filters "kinks" or have I lost touch with the current state of identity labels?

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#26

Post by rootusrootus »

nico wrote: post #22
dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comme…

> One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone

The one whose wife, a teacher, was injured and dying? That doesn’t seem like a case of phone addiction.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#27

Post by superhnthrowlol »

throw_xxx_rated wrote: post #3

Throwaway account for obvious reasons I'm on Feeld and wow the headline for article is a weird take. Compared to Tinder and Bumble there aren't many people (which isn't surprising) and it's very explicitly about non-vanilla sex, and I would never have thought that "emotionally mature" would characterize the people on it. I'm in my 40s and I have trouble finding people my age. It's ok if you want to find a rope bunny…

Well clearly I need a throw away also. Also an Australian in late 40's.

There was a golden age a while back using websites such as AMM for hookups and threesomes, and Fetlife was unusually great for kink. I basically just listed myself as a male into needle play (with equipment) and LOTS of girls actually came to me. I would get messages asking if my lab was real and when they could visit. Which is a completely contrast to anything you'd see today.

Fetlife really died. The vast majority of female accounts have some variation of "if you'd like to talk to me more, subscribe to my Onlyfans". I opened my inbox today and clicked on the profiles of girls that messaged me years ago, they've all left the site, and you absolutely can't replicate that experience on Tinder.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#28

Post by SPBesui »

nico wrote: post #22
dvt wrote: post #5

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only th…

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comme…

> One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone with an ongoing shooting right next to him.

If you’re talking about the one with the Punisher lock screen, I’m pretty sure his wife was contacting him telling him she’d been shot and was dying. AFAIK he wasn’t just “checking his phone” out of boredom.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#29

Post by gozmike »

This is the first article I read on feeld/3nder that really resonates with me.

Dimo and Ana were the first paying clients of the last startup I co-founded, Smooch.io, that would go on to be acquired by Zendesk. I even had a chance to meet Dimo on a trip to London.

Unlike many of the hundreds of other brash founders that we sold our platform to, this team was different. The level of maturity, emotionally and otherwise, that the pair demonstrated was astounding. They poured themselves into this product and its very much an artistic creation first and foremost. Using the app, you can sense that real people, with real feelings, expressed thoughtfulness and empathy like few other builders of the era.

They've since moved on from Smooch/Zendesk, and I've moved on from it as well, but seeing their work covered here leaves me feeling really nostalgic for those days gone by. They (and their love for one another) really built one of the few remaining places left in the digital world that are delightfully special.

Re: A hookup app for the emotionally mature

#30

Post by [deleted] »

pwython wrote: post #25

> "choose from among twenty different categories of gender and sexuality." And just when I thought I was "emotionally mature" at 40, I can't help but giggle at that sentence. Are there really 20 different genders and such nowadays? Are these filters "kinks" or have I lost touch with the current state of identity labels?

[deleted]
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